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Rudy Park

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-05 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-05 Pub. Date: 2015-08-05
Image Number: 130660
Caption: Boss, the customers are asking what happened to the stools. What do they mean? The round seat parts are gone. They're just poles sticking out of the floor now. The biggest problem a café owner faces is low turnover. People buy one drink and sit for hours, hogging all the seats. I've solved that problem. Where are all you people going? Man up!
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-30 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-30 Pub. Date: 2015-07-30
Image Number: 130394
Caption: (Ahem) Dear patrons, an announcement: My symphony debuts online next week … and to reward you all for being loyal customers, I'm going to sing you a sample from the first single. There are no vocals yet, so I'll be singing you the oboe, woodwind and bagpipe instrumentals. Get back to work. Bee beebebeebee boo ... Boooo booboobooboo beee.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-25 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-25 Pub. Date: 2015-07-25
Image Number: 130030
Caption: Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-13 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-13 Pub. Date: 2015-06-13
Image Number: 128141
Caption: I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um … sure. Why not? A-ha! So you accept responsibility for my lack of weight loss and admit you've been complicit in deceptive advertising. I'd be willing to settle out of court for $500,000 and an apology. How about a free diet coke? Deal.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-05 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-05 Pub. Date: 2015-06-05
Image Number: 127848
Caption: Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks noticed he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't - Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizing his Segway's license plate.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-31 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-31 Pub. Date: 2015-05-31
Image Number: 126893
Caption: Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. Coming up. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. And can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going. And can you substitute ginseng for the macadamia nut, ostrich swear for the turkey tears, and pumpernickel for the bagel?
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-30 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-30 Pub. Date: 2015-04-30
Image Number: 126202
Caption: Boss, it's freezing in the café. It's like 20 degrees. Excellent. But we're not quite there yet. Go into the basement and tell Gunther to pedal faster or I revoke his work visa. Industrial grade air conditioners don't power themselves, after all. As soon as you see a customer turn blue, raise prices on the hot cocoa. Very bad man.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-30 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-30 Pub. Date: 2015-03-30
Image Number: 125025
Caption: Howdy pardner. Ummmm … What? You've never seen a handgun before? You want money? My iPhone? Don't hurt me. Relax, I'm just exercising my right to bear arms. Though it doesn't hurt when trying to get a little extra service or whipped cream. When did this job get so dangerous?
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-19 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-19 Pub. Date: 2015-03-19
Image Number: 124317
Caption: Father, if Google and Apple compete, to whom should I show allegiance? We are mere mortals. We cannot pretend to understand the meaning of this war. Perhaps it is like Zeus vs. Godzilla, or Terminator vs the Hobbit. Or even the force from Star Wars vs. the sentient tree from the planet Pandora. I have no idea what you're saying. My point. It's beyond our understanding. Computer Villa Customer Service.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-10 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-10 Pub. Date: 2015-02-10
Image Number: 122753
Caption: I confess I've felt temptation to cheat. It's just that I get do tired of waiting for her to give me what I want. She even makes me feel like if I want it, then there must be something wrong with me. She's wrong. Your needs are natural. There's no shame in wanting a tablet that runs a full operating system and has a stylus. Computer Villa. Customer service. But I've been in love with Apple since the first "Lisa."
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-04 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-04 Pub. Date: 2015-02-04
Image Number: 122488
Caption: I overheard you telling Rudy it would be wrong to use Microsoft's hololens to project the faces of beautiful people onto homely people. That's right. Hypothetically speaking, how would you, as a customer, feel about a café using hololens to project a fresh, healthy glow onto week-old pastries? Hypothetically, the trick would be learning to sneaking the goggles onto the faces of unsuspecting patrons. Is that why Rudy's army-crawling toward me on the floor with a pair of glasses? Hypothetically.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-26 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-26 Pub. Date: 2015-01-26
Image Number: 122181
Caption: Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-21 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-21 Pub. Date: 2015-01-21
Image Number: 121922
Caption: Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?! When my costs rise, I have to pass them on to the customer. The price of oats hasn't risen. Exactly. It's Newton's fourth law. The less prices rise, the more opportunity cost rises, since I lose out on the opportunity to raise prices. Newton only had three laws!!! Opportunity cost is expensive.
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-19 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-19 Pub. Date: 2015-01-19
Image Number: 121920
Caption: Do you think it's safe yet, Randy? No. Little buddy, I don't. But it's been like three months since the election. Give it a few more. I'm afraid I have to concur with Randy. I say give it a couple years. I demand entry! I promise not to inform you the country has fallen off the precipice!
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-12 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-12 Pub. Date: 2015-01-12
Image Number: 121459
Caption: What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a man ordering coffee before? Best. Dad. Ever. I'll also have a raspberry muffin. What? Reason #7 not to have kids.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-10 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-10 Pub. Date: 2015-01-10
Image Number: 121150
Caption: Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-07 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121147
Caption: Boss ... We haven't had a customer all day. Not since Coffee King lowered their prices. Not a problem, minion. I have a feeling Coffee King is about to be closed due to an anonymous call to the health inspector. I have a feeling some anonymous patron is going to have found rat droppings in the asbestos Coffee King wraps its month-old tuna fish in. I can't believe even you would do something that underhanded, boss. I don't know what you're talking about.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-06 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-06 Pub. Date: 2015-01-06
Image Number: 121146
Caption: You see how empty the cafe is today, Rudy? Yeah. Not a single patron all day. House of Java.net CyberCafe. That's because they're all up the road at Coffee King. I saw them on my way here. Coffee King's lowered its prices and copied your menu. They're selling everything you guys sell, but for half the price. I'm only here out of loyalty. That's very selfless of you. Yeah. Ladies dig selflessness.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-06 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-06 Pub. Date: 2014-09-06
Image Number: 115997
Caption: You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows café customers expect to be served by a skinny-jean-wearing, vinyl-loving, organic-food-eating environmentalist who smokes. I've scheduled you for an old-timey glasses fitting at noon. I don’t need glasses! You're now a vegan, but you can eat meat as long as you do it ironically.
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-31 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-31 Pub. Date: 2014-08-31
Image Number: 114993
Caption: Tired of having your intimate moments and in-person communications interrupted by cellphone calls and incoming texts? Great news from At-Mobile. If you get our True Friends calling plan, we GUARANTEE it will repair all your personal relationships! No longer will you be distracted with rings at inopportune moments or by an endless stream of virtual interruptions. Why? Because At-Mobile continues to have the WORST coverage in the wireless industry. With our service, you'll continue to not be able to get signals in all kinds of places, like your home and office, local cafes, even in your car. For $49.95, you can't afford not to have the wireless plan that lets you focus on the people who are right in front of you. Stop into our local retail store and check out the new no-coverage maps that show where our wireless signal is shoddier than anyone else in the business.
     
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