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Rudy Park

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-28 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-28 Pub. Date: 2016-12-28
Image Number: 152644
Caption: Armstrong's out of control. It's like his greed has gone into overdrive. What do you mean? Every day, he comes up with a new way to bilk the customers and me out of our hard-earned money … like usual. But the odd thing is, now he's doing it every five minutes. I don't think he's slept, eaten of bathed in at least three days. I've bathed, but if you want me to wear deodorant it's an extra $5. Holy McConaughey.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-27 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152643
Caption: Rudy, I've noticed your upsells have fallen drastically over the last 16 years. More and more, you just give customers what they ask for instead of pushing them to buy a larger cup, an extra cookie, or a 3-minute bathroom pass. That is unacceptable. So I've signed you up for my mandatory "How to Upsell" course and ordered you the reading material. Tuition fees will be deducted from your check. As your first lesson, I've upgraded you from the 2-week course to the 15-day one for just $50 extra. Very bad man.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-15 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-15 Pub. Date: 2016-11-15
Image Number: 151037
Caption: I heard you were giving out free red-white-and-blue cookies for Election Day. That was last week. I know. But you didn't specify it was for the presidential election. They're voting today for hall monitor at Octavia Butler Elementary School in Pasadena. Technically, that means it's "Election Day." Cookie me now, cookie boy, or I sue for false advertising. Get out.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-06 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 150036
Caption: Can I have a little water? That'll be $8. What? A cup of water is supposed to be free. It's free everywhere. Menu. Exactly. And just look at the state of America today. Bridges and roads crumbling, Obamacare costs skyrocketing … people leaving pets in hot cars, a totally dysfunctional Congress, $16 movie tickets, terrorism ... What's any of that have to do with free water?! Who knows? But we don't know that it doesn't have something to do with free water. Please ... I'm so thirsty! Fine ... whatever. $8. Trying something new even if it's repugnant is how we're going to get this country back on track.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-21 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149920
Caption: I was here just last month. Could you give me a returning-customer discount? I mean, it's the least you could do for such a loyal customer. Not really. The least I could do is nothing. You've just lost all my business. Get out.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-15 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148488
Caption: I'm suing you for false advertising. I sent a sample of your Italian soda to my cousin Beppe in Naples. He said there's nothing "Italian" about it. I'll settle out of court for an Italian soda. No deal.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-05 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148226
Caption: Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold: My masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-01 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146700
Caption: I'm sorry, can you repeat your order? Why? Because when I was about to hit "new order," an alert popped up … telling me my city was being marched on by an enemy alliance. Naturally, I had to launch the game and send all my troops, hero and resources to hide in Bajor, a friendly neighboring city. Congratulations! your troops have DESTROYED Bajor. This is probably how the Israeli-Palestinian thing started. What? Where's my coffee?!
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-25 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-25 Pub. Date: 2016-07-25
Image Number: 146482
Caption: Minion, how good are you at constructing big, beautiful walls? What? Tens of millions of people watched last week's Republican convention. I don't follow. My calculations show the convention successfully scared 49.2% of them nearly to death, by making it seem as if we're being overrun by savages. There are now millions of potential customers who'd love to sip coffee surrounded by a 50-foot electrified wall. Very bad man.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-20 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-20 Pub. Date: 2016-07-20
Image Number: 146153
Caption: I saw your "free wi-fi" sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to buy something, it's not free! Ok. The password is "buysomethingorgetout." Is that upper-case or lower?
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-19 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-19 Pub. Date: 2016-07-19
Image Number: 146152
Caption: Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head? I'm glad you (huff) asked. Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death. So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills. Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill? They walk. ... Walk.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-29 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-29 Pub. Date: 2016-06-29
Image Number: 145236
Caption: I have a coupon for a free Moroccan Wasabi Mochaccino. You already used that coupon last week. I don’t think so. You must be thinking of another customer. No, I remember handing you the drink, you showing me the coupon … and then when I tried to take if from you, you pushed aside a table, a boy scout and a nun as you fled. I don't think so. Get out.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-16 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-16 Pub. Date: 2016-06-16
Image Number: 144577
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that?
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-10 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-10 Pub. Date: 2016-06-10
Image Number: 144241
Caption: Hello, nemesis. Give me one of everything. And bill it to you. Why would I do that? Because there's a sign on the wall that reads "The customer is always right." If you don't do as I say, that's false advertising. If you don't pay for what you order, you're not technically a "customer." Stalemate! Not technically.
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-02 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-02 Pub. Date: 2016-05-02
Image Number: 142736
Caption: Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-01 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-01 Pub. Date: 2016-05-01
Image Number: 141911
Caption: Can I use your wi-fi? Of course. Did you buy something? In a manner of speaking. I bought a Snickers bar last month at the 7-11 over in Candorville. So I'm basically a paying customer. I'm not following. My money went to pay the clerk's salary. A few days later, that clerk bought a magazine at a newsstand. The proprietor of the newsstand later used that money when he went to a massage parlor. He tipped the masseuse $65. The masseuse later took a bus to our town, where she bought a latter in this very establishment. I'm a customer thrice-removed. Ok. The password is "password."
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-16 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-16 Pub. Date: 2016-04-16
Image Number: 141819
Caption: You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I now I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-09 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-09 Pub. Date: 2016-04-09
Image Number: 141530
Caption: I think you charged my Mastercard twice by mistake for that drink last month. Do you have the receipt? Who keeps a café receipt for a whole month? That's crazy talk. Oh. No problem. Do you have your Mastercard statement? They went out of business, so I can't print that out. Get out.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-20 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 139970
Caption: What can I get you? I'll have a mocha, a scone, and an explanation of Beyonce's "Formation" video. Ok. Would you like that for here or to go? Here would be good. Ok. Last month, Beyonce released a music video that expressed pride in her black heritage. Pride in black culture, pride in black physical features, pride even in the Black Panther movement. The reason this is ok is, for centuries, mainstream culture has been telling black people to be ashamed of all that. They've been told to straighten their hair, talk differently, and even lighten their skin if they want to look "professional." When the world tells you to be ashamed of who you are, it's ok to say "No, I'm proud of it." That'll be $14.95. Can I also get a side of explaining why it's important that scientists finally discovered gravity waves?
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-19 customer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-19 Pub. Date: 2016-02-19
Image Number: 139256
Caption: I slipped and fell in your establishment. I'll settle out of court for $50 thousand. Where'd you slip? Right out front. I mean, inside the front entrance. I mean, near the counter. By that, I mean to say over at one of the booths. Say, totally unrelated question ... Which part of the cafe has no security cameras? The restrooms. I slipped and fell in the restrooms. Get out.
     
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