Un croissant, s'il vous plait. Not following This does not count. I'm not done. Also deux espresso. For ma belle femme, une omelette avec fromage. No. No. No. No. No. You said you'd take me on a trip. This is just a stupid café! Sweetie, use your imagination. Inhale the scent of French food. Picture quaint architecture. Think of this strange little waiter as a colorful street performer. Practice speaking in the local tongue. Le petit man is quite strange. Leave me out of this! Monsieur, where is your - how do you say? - toilettes?
How can you be so heartless?! I have half a mind to tweet about this! Pardon? A bus full of tiny orphan broke down down the hill. It was on the news. Yet you didn't offer them any food. How would this look for your café if you totally ignored them in their time of need? If you'd like to prepare some tuna croissants, I'd be more than happy to haul them down there for you. Not falling for it.