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Rudy Park

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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-18 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153430
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? I'm about to leave the country. I'm taking a four-year cruise around the world. I should be back on or after January 21st, 2021. But I can only afford a ticket for myself, not for my wife. How do I explain to her that she's going to have to stay behind? Before I answer: Is this by any chance related to Donald Trump's upcoming inauguration? It's every man for himself.
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-23 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-23 Pub. Date: 2016-12-23
Image Number: 152379
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll quadruple our sales. Not again. We should stop spelling everything correctly. Nobody does that anymore. We should write our menus the way the country writes their tweets. That's the dumb -- wait … that's actually not one of your more horrendous ideas. Thx boss. M gonna take rest of day off k thx bye. Never mind what I just said.
     
23. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-06 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 150036
Caption: Can I have a little water? That'll be $8. What? A cup of water is supposed to be free. It's free everywhere. Menu. Exactly. And just look at the state of America today. Bridges and roads crumbling, Obamacare costs skyrocketing … people leaving pets in hot cars, a totally dysfunctional Congress, $16 movie tickets, terrorism ... What's any of that have to do with free water?! Who knows? But we don't know that it doesn't have something to do with free water. Please ... I'm so thirsty! Fine ... whatever. $8. Trying something new even if it's repugnant is how we're going to get this country back on track.
     
24. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-31 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-31 Pub. Date: 2016-07-31
Image Number: 145649
Caption: Rudy, how's that print order coming? What print order? The "House of Java" flags I asked you to have printed. You were serious? Of course. Britain exiting the European Union was just the first domino to fall. Spain might be next , then Finland, then Foreignvania and all the other Anias. And that's just for starters. It's going to spread. My sources tell me the Maldives will be next to split up. Each coral atoll will become a separate and distinct Maldo. "Maldo"? From there the contagion will spread to Australia, which will become a collection of separate city states, some run by man, some run by marsupials. My calculations show it'll eventually spread to North America, where we'll disintegrate into thousands of tiny fiefdoms ruled by whoever is first to plant a flag. Are you sure you didn't forget to carry the "one"?
     
25. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-16 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-16 Pub. Date: 2016-07-16
Image Number: 145833
Caption: We're back from Canada. What happened? Mommy tried getting in, but they said "Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton being nominees is not grounds for refugee status." Well, welcome back. The country wouldn't have been the same without its future low-paid, debt-laden workforce. What? ... I mean, without "you."
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-11 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-11 Pub. Date: 2016-07-11
Image Number: 145828
Caption: Armstrong, why do we have Fourth of July decorations up? That was last week. Exactly. A true patriot loves his country regardless of the date. A true patriot celebrates the founding of our corporatocracy every single day of the year, minion. Some of the decorations are smeared with coffee grounds and banana peels. A true patriot knows that one cafe's dumpster is another cafe's treasure.
     
27. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-07 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145517
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie?" Are America's best days behind us? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when the schoolmarm told little Jebediah Thistlewood to pull up his knickers. The next day, Jebediah's pa came to school and said "In my day, a man was free enough to wear his trousers 'round his ankles if he wanted to. This used to be one humdinger of a country." I still have no idea what he was talking about. I don't even remember what I asked you.
     
28. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-07 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-07 Pub. Date: 2016-05-07
Image Number: 142741
Caption: Man-to-man talk, Randy. Proceed, friend. If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers … would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat? Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit? Gonna have to take a day to think about this one.
     
29. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-27 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-27 Pub. Date: 2016-04-27
Image Number: 142429
Caption: Sadie, sometimes I get really depressed when I think about how divided we are as a country. You've been here a long time. Maybe you can help me. Are we really more divided now than at any time since the Civil War? I figured you'd be the best person to ask, seeing as how you were there. And is it true Abraham Lincoln had a high-pitched voice? You're going to have a high-pitched voice once I'm through with you.
     
30. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-14 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-14 Pub. Date: 2016-04-14
Image Number: 141817
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. We must stand with Spain.
     
31. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-27 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140308
Caption: To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks … or to take arms against the sea of haters, and by Googling links that prove them wrong, end them. To stop updating, to pause - to pause - perchance to browse the tweets of others ... Ay, there's the rub, for in that browsing state what dreams may come when we have re'lized others are wittier than we. But that the dread of something after tweeting, the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no burned-out Twitter-pundit returns, puzzles the will, and does make anonymous haters of us all. Thus 'tis better to never stop tweeting, and never to read the tweets of others.
     
32. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-24 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-24 Pub. Date: 2016-03-24
Image Number: 140829
Caption: I came to say bye-bye. "Bye-bye"? You're leaving? Mommy says we're moving to Canada because the country's scrooged, no matter who we vote for. "Scrooged"? Are you sure that's what your mommy said? When Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton won all those states, she said "Truck it, we're out of here." I think that meant she was getting a U-Haul. Yes. Yes, that's what she meant.
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-01 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-01 Pub. Date: 2016-02-01
Image Number: 138610
Caption: I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in history when men were their most manly. There are hundreds of variables to consider. My initial calculations showed it was the "greatest generation" circa 1945 in all the allied countries. But then I realized I'd forgotten about the high-waisted pants. When I factored that in, they fell a few decimal points behind Genghis Khan's Mongol horde. But then I realized I'd forgotten to carry the "1." Never forget to carry the "1."
     
34. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-27 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-27 Pub. Date: 2016-01-27
Image Number: 138315
Caption: Boss, North Korea's dictator just tweeted that he's considering launching nuclear missiles. He released a map of targets. The map shows that every part of the country will either be destroyed or irradiated. Except for this café. There are like 80 people out there with sleeping bags already. Did you rename the scones "Survival Biscuits," as I instructed? And did you know six-year-old geniuses will hack a head of state's Twitter account in return for a single bag of Doritos? Very bad man.
     
35. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-01 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-01 Pub. Date: 2015-10-01
Image Number: 133160
Caption: You called, Boss? Did you hear about that guy who bought a 62-year-old live-saving drug and then hiked the price 5000% from $23.50 a pill to $750 a pill? It's outrageous! In this country you can get away with basically extorting sick and dying people, just to make a few more bucks. People's lives aren't considered anywhere near as important as one man's greed. What part outrages you? That you didn't think of it first? Get me some dirt on whoever owns penicillin.
     
36. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-12 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-12 Pub. Date: 2015-09-12
Image Number: 132289
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada Canada Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-02 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-02 Pub. Date: 2015-09-02
Image Number: 131969
Caption: Look at you. The vacant stare … the peach fuzz on your chin … the blissfully naïve countenance of an ignoramus … You're a man-child, Rudy. Someone had to tell you. Well? Say something, man-child. Oh. Sorry. I was just lost in thought … because it occurred to me that the whole country is only about two and a half times older than you. Zip it, baby-man!
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-15 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-15 Pub. Date: 2015-06-15
Image Number: 128444
Caption: It'll come down to Bush vs. Clinton, little buddy. How do you know? Because people keep saying "I don't want a Bush or a Clinton." The country doth protest too much, methinks. True. People always say they hate sequels, but sequels always earn tons of money. If Theodore Roosevelt IV decides to run, all bets are off.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-08 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-08 Pub. Date: 2015-06-08
Image Number: 128136
Caption: I don't know why you're surprised. It's totally in character for your nephew. This is just going too far. Not really. Rudy has an obsessive need to be part of anything he sees the rest of the country doing. I have it on good authority the internet based its "trending" algorithms on Rudy's brainwave patterns. I'm officially running for president as a Republican! ... and I'll be voting for Clinton!
     
40. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-26 country 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-26 Pub. Date: 2015-04-26
Image Number: 125280
Caption: Today, an installment of our periodic feature: Uncle Mort's Less Than Mainstream Theories™ Of late, there has been a most welcome decline in crime in America. For whatever reason, I now feel comfortable taking a leisurely stroll at night, and I can wear my favorite blue flannel shirt without being shot at by gangsters who mistake me for a Crip. But let me explain what's really going on. THIS IS ALL A CONSPIRACY BY FLANNEL-SHIRT INDUSTRY EXECUTIVES! They've clearly convinced gangs across the country to cut down on the violence in return for some sort of profit-sharing arrangement. The saggy-jean industry is in on this too. A guy in skinny jeans tried to mug me. Couldn't get his own gun out of his pocket. Which also accounts for the falling crime.
     
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