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The Columnist Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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Result page:    2  Next  (28 images)


1. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2014-08-10 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2014-08-10 Pub. Date: 2014-08-10
Image Number: 114522
Caption: I've been writing to my old girlfriend for years, but she never wrote me back, then I found out that she died. I felt bad, so I decided to write to "Ann Landers," the advice to the love-lorn columnist. But Ann Landers didn’t write me back either. Then I found out that she died also. So I was going to write to "Dear Abby" but then I learned that she passed away too. But her talented daughter took over the column and is doing great, so I'm going to write to her. Dear Abby, Stay healthy.
     
2. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2014-03-09 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2014-03-09 Pub. Date: 2014-03-09
Image Number: 108694
Caption: Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man! What are you reading? A book about the evolutionary war. You know, the American columnists against the British red colts! I just read about the battle of Bumper Hill, the Boston ski party, Benefit Arnold, and all of the floundering fathers. I'm very interested in hysterical events! No surprise. Every time you speak, you create a new one!
     
3. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2011-05-19 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2011-05-19 Pub. Date: 2011-05-19
Image Number: 61162
Caption: Grimm, I'm having personal problems with my girlfried, Pinata. Yeah? Every time I hug her, a Snickers bar or Raisinet comes out her rear end. Whoa, whoa! To much information, bro ... You'd better discuss this with a professional. Dear Abby ...
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-18 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-18 Pub. Date: 2010-08-18
Image Number: 50978
Caption: Audience question: "Lemont, all your character are based on real people. The thug is based on a thug you know. The wise woman is based on a wise woman you know … "Who's the main character based on? You know … the pathetic loser with awful taste in women who never gets any respect?" That one's based on someone I know named YO MOMMA. The cellist? That's Yo Yo Ma. Yeah! Everyone knows that!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-17 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-17 Pub. Date: 2010-08-17
Image Number: 50977
Caption: Audience question for Lemont about your autobiographical newspaper column: "Will Lemont ever end up with Susan?" I don’t get that. Why do readers automatically assume two characters should end up together … … Just 'cause they're compatible in every way, immensely attracted to each other, and feel complete when the other one is around? I mean seriously, people ... stop reading so much into that.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-28 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-28 Pub. Date: 2010-07-28
Image Number: 50001
Caption: The satirical world of Lemont's newspaper column is filled with characters from his real life -- whom he depicts as duplicitous and evil -- like his fiancée, Roxanne. How does Roxanne feel about that? Earlier that evening … Is there anything you DON'T want me to ask? Well ... I'm going through a messy custody fight with my ex-fiancée, Roxanne. I don't want to talk about her AT ALL. How do you spell your name again, Wendy?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-27 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-27 Pub. Date: 2010-07-27
Image Number: 50000
Caption: Both Stephen King and Lemont Brown create books that fall into the realm of satire … … And, I would argue, pretty dark satire sometimes. Both were raised by single, working-class mothers … Both worked as columnists for their college newspapers … Both have social security numbers that end in 5555 ... Google is evil.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-09 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-09 Pub. Date: 2010-04-09
Image Number: 45962
Caption: Really, mister? YOU wrote this humor column for the newspaper? Yeah, what do you think, kid? I think if you included some swearing, you'd be a lot funnier. Hahaha, I'd also be unemployed. Aren't you concerned about being unemployed because you're not funny?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-08 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-08 Pub. Date: 2010-04-08
Image Number: 45961
Caption: So now you're the Chronicle's new political humorist? Pretty cool, huh? Yeah! How'd that happen? I'll do it for hot soup and bus fare. The boss sees something special in me.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-07 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-07 Pub. Date: 2010-04-07
Image Number: 45960
Caption: Sir, I noticed you've replaced our political columnists with Mark Twain articles from the year 1900. That's right, Brown. Saves a little money … appeals to older folks … … If it works for our comics page, it can work for our opinion page. "I bring you the stately matron called Christendome ... Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass." What's that even mean? An extra two months in the black.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-16 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-16 Pub. Date: 2009-09-16
Image Number: 38470
Caption: Just read your new column: "What Chucho's Hauling Van Tells us about Health Care Reform." What an unorthodox metaphor. Sometimes, Brown, I marvel at how a man's brain can make the connections yours makes. Um … thanks? Sir? Yes? Was that praise or an insult? I hope someday you'll donate your synapses to science.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-15 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-15 Pub. Date: 2009-09-15
Image Number: 38469
Caption: Hey, Al Mendoza! Can't really talk right now, brother, I have a column due in an hour and I have writer's block. Yeah, that's why I called! SO Mari an' I are driving down on Sloat and Sunset, and there's this big white van. Says "Chucho's Hauling" on the side. But IT'S ALWAYS THERE! For like a month it hasn't moved at all! What's Chucho Hauling, gravity? ... You can use that in your column. Anyway, there's something there. Make it work. Peace! GET OFF THE PHONE!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-09 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-09 Pub. Date: 2009-08-09
Image Number: 37137
Caption: Your question has been answered! Ask Dear Annie. Q: Is there a telltale sign my relationship is over? A: Dear "Concerned," the #1 sign your relationship is over is asking whether there are signs your relationship is over.
     
14. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2009-07-26 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2009-07-26 Pub. Date: 2009-07-26
Image Number: 36622
Caption: Sorry, Honey, I'm on a deadline. I have a column to finish.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-29 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-29 Pub. Date: 2009-05-29
Image Number: 34378
Caption: It's not enough. I've laid off everyone except you, and it's still not enough. Executive decision, Brown! I've decided to eliminate our ink budget. But that's… Um… How are people going to read the words on the paper? Paper?! You think we can afford paper?! PAPER DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, BROWN! Hello, you've reached 9-1-1. To report a recession-related nervous breakdown, press "1".
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-28 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-28 Pub. Date: 2009-05-28
Image Number: 34377
Caption: Dear Annie, my father-in-law said I'm not man enough for his little girl. So I showed him one of my epithelial cells under extreme magnification and pointed out the Y chromosome. So what I want to know is, is there a non-surgical way to remove an atomic wedgie? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-27 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-27 Pub. Date: 2009-05-27
Image Number: 34376
Caption: You want me to be the new "Dear Annie"?! But I'm not qualified to give advice. Of course you are, Brown. You're a person, aren't you? A person may not know what to do with his own life, but he sure as heck knows what other people should do with theirs. You should give me a raise. Maybe you're not qualified.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-26 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-26 Pub. Date: 2009-05-26
Image Number: 34375
Caption: Good news and bad news, Brown. Bad first, sir. We've had to lay off Annie Wiseacre, the "Dear Annie" advice columnist. Aw, man! I've been reading her column since… Forever, it'll be a shame to see it disappear. Well, now for the good news.
     
19. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2008-04-05 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2008-04-05 Pub. Date: 2008-04-05
Image Number: 22811
Caption: You could have saved yourself a lot of time my reading my syndicated advice column.
     
20. Comic Strip Mike Peters  Mother Goose and Grimm 2007-04-04 columnist 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Peters
Comic/Cartoon: Mother Goose and Grimm
Viewable Date: 2007-04-04 Pub. Date: 2007-04-04
Image Number: 16718
Caption: Do I have to fetch the paper? Ann Coulter always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (28 images)