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Rudy Park

Comics about coffee .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-02 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174304
Caption: Announcing the Fad Herald. I am not worthy. Coffee. Black. Straight coffee. Are fancy espresso drinks out? Is that your pronouncement? No pronouncement. My hours have been cut back. I'm here on my own time. Furloughs are in?! You're reading too much into this. Interpretations are out.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-16 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-16 Pub. Date: 2018-09-16
Image Number: 173916
Caption: One cup of coffee, please. Coming right up. Your son's adorable. Thank you. He's the light of my life. Do you have kids? No. I mean, not yet. I didn't mean to pry. That's just fine. What is? You can be childless and still live a very fulfilling life. Not for a second do I feel your existence will be any less rich without a little creature to hug and teach and carry on your legacy. Not for even one millisecond do I feel that way! Are you married? Gotta remember to lie in these situations.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172381
Caption: Halt! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah, so? Then you poured in a heap of half-and-half. Well, I … You're lying to yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. you probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? Coffee habits as prism into a moral hypocrisy!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-08 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-08 Pub. Date: 2018-07-08
Image Number: 172758
Caption: HALT! What? What'd I do? Did you order a non-fat latte? Yeah. So? Then you poured in a heap of half-and half. Well, I - You're lying to protect yourself. You fashion yourself a heart-healthy consumer then give in to your debased nutritional habits and tastes. You probably hate big government but like pork projects in your district or favor states' rights but want courts to ban gay marriage at the federal level. What? COFFEE HABITS AS PRISM INTO MORAL HYPOCRISY!!! Plus, that drink just sounds like it tastes terrible. I absolutely need a huge dollop of sugar.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-05 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-05 Pub. Date: 2018-07-05
Image Number: 172755
Caption: Self-styled '60s revolutionary Mort Park, Incensed by Arizona's new immigration law, asked his cafe cohorts to road trip to Phoenix to protest. They agreed, hoping to meet chicks. I've had three lattes and programmed the Phoenix Hooters into the GPS. Y'all go to sleep in back and when you wake up or we'll be getting our mojo on. And protesting bigoted policies! And watered-down drinks. How dare they serve that cheap stuff. Must have banana daiquiris.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-27 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-27 Pub. Date: 2018-05-27
Image Number: 171404
Caption: What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it sounds iffy. Just give me the usual aspartame-trans fat medley.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-05 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-05 Pub. Date: 2018-05-05
Image Number: 171063
Caption: Boss? I was cleaning out the bunker like you said to, when I stumbled across blueprints for an O'Neill cylinder. You're imagining things, minion. The front page was a to-do list: Step five was herd genetically modified people onto orbital O'Neill cylinder. Step four was slip fattener into coffee. Step three was become minister of cafes. Step two: Elect Trump. Relax, it's just a short story I wrote in the '80s when I was a hatchling - I mean when I was a kid. Step one was assume identity of original Armstrong Maynard.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-22 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-22 Pub. Date: 2018-04-22
Image Number: 170203
Caption: Of course I can get you a double-caffeine espresso. You … you can? Coffee King. You mean my usual café hasn't blacklisted me throughout the tri-county area like they said they did? You mean to tell me my cardiologist and my crabby wife haven't sent every cafe do not serve this man posters like they said they did? Well in that case, hurry up and give it to me before the old battleaxe finds a parking spot! Oh, don't worry. There's a convention next door. She'll be circling the block for hours. How do you like your gentle-flower chamomile tea? People who double-park should burn forever in the fiery pits of hell.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-11 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-11 Pub. Date: 2018-03-11
Image Number: 168763
Caption: What are you scribbling on your pad there, nephew? I ordered a quintuple espresso with extra caffeine, and right away you started scribbling. Is it about me? You're not documenting my orders and passing them on to my wife, or my doctors, are you? I'm a grown man! I can handle anything! I've been drinking coffee since before you were born, you traitorous, whippersnapping tattle-tale! Will I go unreported if I downgrade to a quadruple? Does whippersnapping have on p or two?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-01 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-01 Pub. Date: 2018-02-01
Image Number: 167932
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-31 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-31 Pub. Date: 2018-01-31
Image Number: 167931
Caption: Let me tell you a story: The year was 1988. I was living in Detroit at the time. A young man named Matt Bennett spilled a drop of coffee on my shoe. He apologized profusely. I said, That's ok, dear, and we got to chatting. Turned out he was organizing a campaign stop for Michael Dukakis. So I told him You know what would make be vote for your boss? Show us he's tough. Maybe put him in a tank, and put a huge helmet on him. Show me he's an alpha male. I said I was sorry for spilling your tea. I will ruin you.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-14 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166645
Caption: I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-03 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165381
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to me. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-26 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165380
Caption: Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I -- Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-27 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161424
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-23 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-23 Pub. Date: 2017-07-23
Image Number: 160100
Caption: Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. and can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going. And can you substitute ginseng for macadamia nut, ostrich-swear for turkey tears, ginseng for praline, and pumpernickel for the bagel?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-20 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-20 Pub. Date: 2017-07-20
Image Number: 160522
Caption: I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-04 coffee 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158198
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
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