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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-22 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-22 Pub. Date: 2019-04-22
Image Number: 177323
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-17 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157012
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-18 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-18 Pub. Date: 2013-10-18
Image Number: 102722
Caption: Why do I hafta go to thpeeth thewapy? That's why. You have to go to speech therapy because you still have a lisp. Now that you're three, the clinic agreed to take you. What'th a lithp? And I'm not thwee yeawth owd yet. I'm your dad. If I tell you to be three, you do it.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-13 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-13 Pub. Date: 2012-07-13
Image Number: 51942
Caption: Lemont, why don't you tell her exactly what you want? I want her to stop scaring me spitless with all her talk about bed bugs and asteroids and flesh-eating viruses. How do you feel about what Lemont just said? What if I only scare him twice a week. THIS IS NOT A NEGOTIATION!!! Ok, three times a week, but I feel like I'm compromising more than he is. (this cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-12 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-12 Pub. Date: 2012-07-12
Image Number: 51941
Caption: She's crazy! She's been scaring me spitless for YEARS. Have not. Very few SCIENTISTS BELIEVE AIDS MAY or may not HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!!! HOLDing YOUR BREATH is not necessary! You forgave me for that! You can't keep throwing that in my face! And what was all that mess about asteroids blowing up the Earth? I thought we moved past that. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-11 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-11 Pub. Date: 2012-07-11
Image Number: 51940
Caption: She's always trying to scare the spit out of me. I can't take it anymore. I see. And how do YOU feel about what Lemont just said? I care about him. I want him to be informed. Is that so bad? Scratch scratch scr-- SCRATCHING YOUR NOSE CAN LEAD TO CATCHING THE FLESH-EATING VIRUS!!! Fascinating. ... What? You see what I'm working with here?! (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-16 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-16 Pub. Date: 2012-01-16
Image Number: 43923
Caption: twitter. Sassynic: Jumping jacks … have those ever been considered a real exercise? They seem so … fake to me. They're the breast implants of exercises. Candorville: If a caveman saw all the glowing, blinking devices in my room, he'd flip out. I'd hate 2 see what he'd do if he saw my bills for all of them. I don't understand, what's this have to do with you deciding you no longer need counseling? I'm cured! All the voices in my head have been crowded out by all the voices in my phone. (Published originally on 2010-02-08.)
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-31 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-31 Pub. Date: 2011-07-31
Image Number: 63739
Caption: Last month, I watched NASA launch the very last space shuttle mission, ever. It's been a whole month and I haven't heard anyone even talk about it. I remember watching the first shuttle launch, when I was six. It pre-empted Romper room. That's how big a deal it was. We don't dream big as a country anymore. We don't believe we can rebuild our roads, let alone get to Mars. I see ... Dreaming is over. This still doesn't explain why you're stuck on a girl who treats you badly. When you deserve so much more. If the country doesn't dream big, why should I?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-10 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-10 Pub. Date: 2011-07-10
Image Number: 63062
Caption: My brother's buying a house. I didn't know that was really possible. We never owned anything growing up. We couldn't afford books, so we'd go to the library. We couldn’t afford a car so we'd take the bus ... We come from a long line of renters. I'd convinced myself it had to be that way. After all we're all only renting our time on this earth anyway. Ownership is a delusion. The only thing we can really own is our soul. I see. You're wondering if you can conquer the limits you've placed on yourself, like your brother did. I'm wondering if my brother will rent me his basement cheap.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-01 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-01 Pub. Date: 2011-07-01
Image Number: 62675
Caption: The power of suggestion is insidious. For months, we've been dealing with your delusion about your ex being an ancient, evil vampire. A couple of nights ago, I actually dreamt it was all true … … and that she was holding me prisoner in her dungeon. Can we deal with my delusion that you charge me $100 an hour to talk about ME and not YOU?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-20 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-20 Pub. Date: 2011-06-20
Image Number: 62372
Caption: I thought you were supposed to be in therapy right now. Me too. We were supposed to talk about my fear of abandonment. But the therapist never showed up.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-12 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-12 Pub. Date: 2011-06-12
Image Number: 61590
Caption: When someone doesn't return your love and devotion, it's normal to assume you should change something about yourself. Oh, you noticed I've lost a few pounds? That has absolutely nothing to do with the face that Kelly hasn't even called me for months. I've lost my appetite for no reason, and I've been working out constantly, to get my mind off nothing in particular. Hmmm ... I see. My friends are awful quiet around me. People don't know what to say to someone who's in denial. No, they probably think I'm getting way too skinny.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-30 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-30 Pub. Date: 2011-04-30
Image Number: 60248
Caption: Lemont, it's dangerous and unwise to stop taking your antipsychotic medicine. I can't testify on my own behalf in court 'cause they make me forgetful! Besides, what's the worst that could happen? You could flip out, hallucinate, lash out and lose everything and everyone you've ever cared about. Oh. What's the SECOND worst thing that could happen? Fascinating.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-29 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-29 Pub. Date: 2011-04-29
Image Number: 60247
Caption: Let me get this straight: you wrote a story about you and me getting kidnapped in Mexico, infiltrating a drug cartel run by monsters, and causing the end of the world. And you want me to go to "Candorville dot com" backslash "2009," backslash "11," backslash "09," backslash "elevation," so I can read all about it because now you think it all really happened. Is that correct? No, it's not. It's not? You said "backslash," when those are clearly "forward slashes." Fascinating.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-28 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-28 Pub. Date: 2011-04-28
Image Number: 60246
Caption: It's coming back to me slowly, Doc. I remember a pyramid that was not a pyramid, a kiss that was not a kiss, and a story without end. These are dreams you're talking about, Lemont. Not memory. DREAMS. I know the difference, Doctor. THESE ARE MEMORIES! THESE ... Just wondering, does my HMO pay for recovered memories? Or just dream analysis? Yeah, they cover memories too. Ok. (ahem ...) THESE ARE MEMORIES!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-27 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-27 Pub. Date: 2011-04-27
Image Number: 60245
Caption: It's all coming back to me, Doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun as already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... how can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola ... Leave the poetry to your patients.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-26 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-26 Pub. Date: 2011-04-26
Image Number: 60244
Caption: Lemont, you shouldn't have stopped taking your antipsychotic medicine. But I have to testify in my custody hearing. I have to tell the judge all about the great times Lionel and I have together, but I can't remember any of them. The meds make me forgetful! You already said that. I ... I did? Sorry, a little therapist's joke.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-25 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-25 Pub. Date: 2011-04-25
Image Number: 60243
Caption: Lemont … Lemont … Whuh … Whozere? Lemont … I'm running out. It's getting bored … I need you to keep your promise. Momma? Lemont, you must … "momma"? Do I sound like a woman to you? As cryptic, disembodied voices go, you're kinda high-pitched. And that's when you asked your Star Trek pin if it thought it was a mistake to stop taking your antipsychotic medicine? After it stopped nagging me.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-10 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-10 Pub. Date: 2011-04-10
Image Number: 59402
Caption: Do you really think Kelly is capable of loving you? Huh? Kelly says all the right things to make you feel she needs you and understands you better than anyone ever could. That she's your "soul mate." She makes you feel alive. That's why you stubbornly ignore all the signs that show she odes not love you. She's using you to fulfill her own need for power and control. That's why every time you show her she's got you, she gets bored or annoyed and stops talking to you. Make no mistake, when she's not talking with you, she's seducing other people. The act of winning a man's unconditional love is the ultimate high, for her. It makes HER feel alive. She'll be back as soon as she tires of them or thinks she's losing you. But i text her every to tell her she's losing me, and she still hasn't come back.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-03 clinic 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-03 Pub. Date: 2011-04-03
Image Number: 59018
Caption: Kelly called. She told me she was finally ready to be with me. She asked me to marry her. I told her "No, you've hurt me too much." and I hung up and swore I'd never answer another phone call from her again. She called dozens of times after that. I answered every time. She told me she was sorry for hurting me all year, and said she can't live without me. She was so in love with me. It broke down the wall I'd built around my heart, and I fell back in love with her. I told her I would consider marrying her if she could go six months without breaking my heart again. Then she didn't return any of my calls for two whole months. I swore I would NEVER, EVER answer another phone call from that woman again! Good! Today, she e-mailed me. I answered that because it wasn't a phone call. Fascinating.
     
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