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Candorville

Comics about choice and choices.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-23 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-23 Pub. Date: 2019-06-23
Image Number: 178215
Caption: One pair of Levis, please. Which cut? Extra-slim cut. Ripped or not ripped? What? Smooth or corrugated? Uniform or multicolored? Studded or non-studded? Built-in-Millennial-charger-pocket or Boomer regular? MAGA red or Dem lining. Just plain old regular jeans. That'll be $250. What?! Special order. We don't make 'em anymore.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-22 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-22 Pub. Date: 2019-01-22
Image Number: 175941
Caption: Beto Klobuchar is the Democratic frontrunner for 2020. Beto Klobuchar is gonna be almost impossible to beat. All the big donors seem to be impressed by Beto Klobuchar. What do you think of Beto Klobuchar? He cool. He prolly a good choice. I made him up. I ... yeh, I knew that. I was jus' playin' along wicha, bruh.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-18 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-18 Pub. Date: 2018-12-18
Image Number: 175480
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an other choice. I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it. (This cartoon was previously published on 2016-10-26)
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-10 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-10 Pub. Date: 2017-06-10
Image Number: 158830
Caption: Turns out we're going to land at the North Pole after all. We're out of fuel. But you said the airport melted. We have no choice. President Trump bombed the only other landing strip we could've used, to send a message to the dictator Santa Clause. We would've used a landing strip to send a message to the dictator? No, no ... Trump bombed it to send a message. You need to work on your grammar. Not the point.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-01 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-01 Pub. Date: 2017-04-01
Image Number: 156202
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? The "Independent Woman's Forum" gave Vice President Mike Pence a "Working for Women" award. He voted against the Lilly Ledbetter equal pay bill … he led the fight to defund Planned Parenthood … he tried to redefine rape so that only women who were "forcibly" raped could have a choice ... So I interviewed the IWF and asked them "Isn't it 100% backwards to give him a 'Working for Women' award?" And what did they say? They gave me a "Mansplainer of the Year" award.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-26 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 155437
Caption: Yesterday, I visited my 97-year-old grandpa for the first time in six months. Dr. Noodle. He opened his door. I said "Grandpa! I missed you!" He looked me up and down and said "You gained a pound." It was all I could think about the whole time. As I drove him to his favorite restaurant, I was worried the seatbelt made me look bulgy ... When we ordered, I felt like he was judging my choices and so I only ordered crackers and water. When I hugged him goodbye, I sucked my gut in as hard as I could. Why don't we just focus on the fact he hugged you? When he hugged me, he said "You at that whole cracker."
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-15 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-15 Pub. Date: 2016-11-15
Image Number: 151017
Caption: Don't do it, Lemont. On my earth, I reported EXACTLY what I saw on election night. I posted it ALL on my news site. I wrote about how all the people in this bar took Trump's win. But I also wrote about how this run-down hole in the wall is the nexus of the multiverse. Here, you'll run unto the other yous who've made different choices, who came from world's that made different choices. All the roads not taken lead here. I lost most of my readers, and the girl of my dreams took out a restraining order. On the bright side, I forgot all about that when I met dinosaur me.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-26 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150196
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an "other choice." I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-02 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146689
Caption: What do you mean you "had no choice"? I checked my bank account this morning. Newspapers, coffee, lunch, bus fare, diapers, day care, movie tickets, clothes … It all adds up. It's like every day I leave the building, $50 vanishes from my wallet. Locking yourself on the roof all day is not the answer. I'm cold, hungry and my son's kinda stinky.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-17 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145280
Caption: Have you ever fallen madly in love with someone, Clyde? No such thing as that, bruh. What do you mean? Ain't no "falling." Love is a choice. You control it, Big L, the way you control a pit bull, or the IRS … or the weather. What you phone say the weather be right now, Big L? 106 degrees. The weather be what you want it to be, bruh. What kinda punk-!@$* let a phone tell him how to dress? Good talk, Clyde.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-28 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143642
Caption: My son wants "Pajama Diaries" to win "Best Comic Strip" at tonight's awards because he likes pajamas. And with that, I became convinced Donald Trump will be our next president. Don't get me wrong, I love "Pajama Diaries." I'd be thrilled if it won. But I don't love what my son's reasoning says about humanity. We base our choices on highly personal, irrational reasons, and then we rationalize them after the fact. Aren't you being a little hard on a two-year-old? Don't you see? A lot of people vote with their inner two-year-olds.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-06 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137377
Caption: I don't see why you want to vote anyway, Tyrone. Whoever you vote for … They're still gonna be corporatist warmongers beholden to Wall Street and the military-industrial-security complex. They'll still trample on the common man. You'd be voting for the lesser of two evils. Why would you want to do that? Because the lesser of two evils is better than the worse of two evils. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-01-27).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-07 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-07 Pub. Date: 2015-11-07
Image Number: 134726
Caption: Processing … Processing … Installing software update that'll consume so many system resources that your two-year-old phone will slow to a crawl and you'll have no choice but to upgrade to the new phone. What was that? Um … I mean … "processing … " (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-10-01).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-24 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-24 Pub. Date: 2015-09-24
Image Number: 132815
Caption: You can jump five more times, or you can jump six more times before going to sleep. It's up to you. How many more times do you want to jump? Five or six? Five-oh-thix. "506" was not one of the options, son. Uh-huh, daddy. You thed it. One! … Two! … Fwee! ... Eight! ... Ten! ... Fouw! ... Eleven! ... This is going to be a long night.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-06 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-06 Pub. Date: 2014-12-06
Image Number: 119646
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don’t take care of theyselves an' don’t watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-11 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-11 Pub. Date: 2014-11-11
Image Number: 118787
Caption: Don’t you hear the drums, Tyrone? Bappada-boom. Boom. Bappada-boom. Boom. … It's like the sound of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, trotting steadily toward us. "Trotting"? Really, Rosencrantz, fear-mongering is all about word choice. "Scampering"? Still not scared. "Scooting"? (Published originally on March 27, 2012.)
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-14 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-14 Pub. Date: 2014-08-14
Image Number: 114928
Caption: You notice ain't no one talkin' 'bout them kidnapped girls from Africa no more? That's only 'cause there've been no new developments in their story, Clyde. Every day they still ain't home a new development, bruh. Clyde … either I'm rubbing off on you, or you're getting more insightful all on your own. Given the choice between intimacy an' personal growth ... I choose tacos.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-13 choice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-13 Pub. Date: 2014-03-13
Image Number: 108530
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
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