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Candorville

Comics about children.

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221. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-01 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-01 Pub. Date: 2015-06-01
Image Number: 127775
Caption: Daddy was having a nice dream, son. What happened in it? I don’t know. I was awakened by the sound of springs breaking. When I looked at my clock, I saw that it was 3:17 A.M. Do you know what people are supposed to be doing at 3:17 A.M.? Ithn't thith one of the thingth you're thuppothed to tell me when I'm older? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-20).
     
222. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-28 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-28 Pub. Date: 2015-05-28
Image Number: 127503
Caption: I'm gonna give you a phone number. For whom? No, for mom. She's supposed to be getting me a new dad. But she's slacking. I'm don't have number down yet, so I wrote them all down as words. That's a bunch of squiggles.
     
223. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-25 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-25 Pub. Date: 2015-05-25
Image Number: 127500
Caption: Whatever you do, don't fall asleep. Your eyes are not getting heavy. I know. You're not the least bit tired. I know. Reverse-psychology doesn't work. I know.
     
224. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-22 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-22 Pub. Date: 2015-05-22
Image Number: 127175
Caption: I'm sorry, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Yesterday I accused you of stealing my wallet, ordering $800 worth of junk from Amazon, and lying about it. I cussed at you, threw a drink in your face, and called your momma a Sasquatch. Turns out it was my baby boy who took my wallet and went on Amazon. I'm so proud of him! He's only two and he already knows how to order 57 bags of rabbit food. Oh, oh, oh. So when he take yo' wallet, it's cute. When I take it, it's "grand larceny."
     
225. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-19 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-19 Pub. Date: 2015-05-19
Image Number: 127172
Caption: All week, I've been thinking about the people who got hurt in that train crash. Of course. You ride the train all the time. It's natural to feel fear when you realize it could just as easily have been your train. Times like this make it hard to ignore that your very next trip home may lead to you never seeing your child again. M.A. It's not about me. It's about them It's about identifying with them. Empathy is the most selfish emotion there is.
     
226. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-17 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-17 Pub. Date: 2015-05-17
Image Number: 126511
Caption: Anytime you think bad thoughts, son, you can fix it by thinking of the one thing in this world you love most. Macawoni and cheeth? I was thinking more along the lines of "daddy." Macawoni and cheeth.
     
227. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-11 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-11 Pub. Date: 2015-05-11
Image Number: 126616
Caption: Two Weeks Ago: America is celebrating a mother who was caught on video hitting her son in order to keep him from joining the Baltimore riot. Why is that, Chuck? Well, Chad, it's a well-known fact that black teens need to be beaten to make any lesson sink in. If she'd just taken him by the hand and marched him home, and lectured him privately, it wouldn't have registered in its brain. Um ... I mean, in his brain. Plus the rest of us wouldn't have gotten to enjoy it.
     
228. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-24 Pub. Date: 2015-04-24
Image Number: 125858
Caption: Remember how when we were kids, we'd be out playing for hours, by ourselves? Remember that construction site across the street? I used to hide behind mounds of dirt and pretend I was Luke Skywalker hiding from Sandpeople. I used to climb on the bulldozer and pretend it was an Imperial Walker. I still think you should let your little boy have a little more freedom. And let him get crushed by bulldozers? Are you insane?
     
229. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-27 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-27 Pub. Date: 2015-03-27
Image Number: 124645
Caption: Tyrone, in all the decades we've known each other, I've never once heard you sing. I sing all the time, Rosencrantz. When I see a child smile, my heart sings. When I find a tasty burger in the dumpster, my taste buds sing. Those who sing on the inside don't have to sing on the outside. Lean on me ... when you're not strong, I'll be your ... Stop being an exhibitionist. Spare change?
     
230. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-24 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-24 Pub. Date: 2015-03-24
Image Number: 124642
Caption: Hey. Lemont. Where's you boy Lionel? "Excuse me." Huh? When you want to get a grow-ups attention, Malcolm, you don't say "hey." You say "excuse me." No, I say "hey." Weren't you listening?
     
231. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-22 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-22 Pub. Date: 2015-03-22
Image Number: 124022
Caption: Great news, Clyde. What? You know how people always blame irresponsible, absentee black fathers for everything from crimes to low self-esteem to sagging jeans? Well, that's a myth. A Pew study shows that black fathers who don't live with their kids see them more than white or latino fathers in similar circumstances. yes, but black fathers be more than twice as likely not to live in the house, bruh. So it still average out to less involvement overall when you do the math. (Sigh) ... Math giveth and math taketh away. What an "eth"? What? What?
     
232. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-20 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-20 Pub. Date: 2015-03-20
Image Number: 124248
Caption: Where do babieth come fwom? Well, it's simple, son. You've heard of men? Uh huh. And women? Uh huh. Well, when men and women have relations, each of them contributes 23 chromosomes that combine to form a diploid cell that becomes a blastocyst, which undergoes a multi-phase gestation until it's ready to leave the womb. Babies come from the hospital. Oh.
     
233. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-15 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123843
Caption: Giuliani was right. Obama doesn't love America. When you love something, you love it warts and moles and all. You have a mole. In fact, when you love something, you don't even point out its warts and moles. I noticed it years ago, but I don't remember it being that big. Pointing out warts and moles only hurts your loved one's feelings. Dude ... You might wanna get that thing checked. Daily Nutjob. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." You hate me, just like Obama hates America. Do you even OWN a mirror? Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
234. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-13 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-13 Pub. Date: 2015-03-13
Image Number: 123672
Caption: I should be unhappy. Dr. Noodle. Yesterday, I stubbed my toe. My website went down. I got mugged. A woman laughed at me when I asked her out. M.A. But at night when I tucked my boy in, he squeezed my nose and said "I love you daddy." All of a sudden I was happier than I've ever been in my life. If your happiness depends on that, I'm going to clean up when he's a teenager.
     
235. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-13 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-13 Pub. Date: 2015-02-13
Image Number: 122693
Caption: Son, please go to sleep. Please? Not till you thing me a thong. Lionel, I just sang you a bunch of songs. I sang you "Spock Had a Little Lamb," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Vulcan," "Hush Little Yoda," and "The Wheels on the Tardis." But you thang them in the wong order. Now you hafta thart over.
     
236. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-12 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-12 Pub. Date: 2015-02-12
Image Number: 122692
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed (censored) I can't bewieve I owe five (censored) thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when he's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
237. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-11 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-11 Pub. Date: 2015-02-11
Image Number: 122691
Caption: The Chronicle wants to hire me back and send me to cover the whole ISIS thing. Dr. Noodle. A few years ago, I'd have jumped at the chance, no matter how dangerous it is over there for journalists, because the truth is more important than me. But now, all I can think of is that my baby boy needs me. I'm his whole world. That makes me more important than anything. Does that make me a responsible parent, or a raging narcissist? A little raging narcissism is a good thing. Ph.D.
     
238. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-09 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-09 Pub. Date: 2015-02-09
Image Number: 122689
Caption: Sometimes America really disappoints me, Susan. Remember that Super Bowl commercial where the kid says he'll never be this and never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident? My reaction was "With all the people watching … that commercial is probably going to save some child's life." America's reaction was "Hey! Save a kid some other time, I'm trying to eat a nacho here." I'm paraphrasing ... barely.
     
239. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-04 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-04 Pub. Date: 2015-02-04
Image Number: 122419
Caption: 1982. What'll life be like when we're 40? It'll be the 21st century, Susan. We'll have achieved all sorts of things. There won't be any poverty. Little kids won't have to go hungry. Russia won't be such a poopyhead. The Cold War will be over. We'll either all be friends because we're just so tired of being enemies, or we'll all be radioactive mutants. Either way, it'll be really cool. Momma says there won't be any more Vietnams because we learned our lesson ... Whatever that means.
     
240. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-30 child 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-30 Pub. Date: 2015-01-30
Image Number: 121965
Caption: Every single-parent feels this way, Lemont. When you look at your baby, you know everything he will one day be ultimately depends on you, and you alone. And every time someone else watches him, they're doing you a favor. Do you feel pathetic. I was going to say I felt very grateful. Oh. Never mind, then.
     
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