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Candorville

Comics about chickens.

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Result page:    2  Next  (28 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-27 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-27 Pub. Date: 2019-04-27
Image Number: 177328
Caption: C-Dog, I'm worried the stock market will crash. Should I old or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for Big Oatmeal, he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-11 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-11 Pub. Date: 2019-02-11
Image Number: 176281
Caption: Well, look like I've single-handedly brought down our governor with my latest story. What? A source gave me an old video of him from law school, where he's wearing blackface, tap-dancing, eating a giant watermelon, and shouting where the white women at? Before he dons a KKK robe and sets fire to a cross while whistling Dixie through a hollowed-out bucket of fried chicken. The governor replied that he's sorry he didn't realize at the time how offensive that was. I'm going to miss Governor Weasly.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-02 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-02 Pub. Date: 2019-02-02
Image Number: 176036
Caption: Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I never signed up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When Great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth hear attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-31 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-31 Pub. Date: 2017-07-31
Image Number: 161030
Caption: Dick, I stepped out for two minutes to find a spoon, and when I returned, my chicken soup smelled a lot like Ex-Lax. The laxative. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Anyway, if, for any reason, you're unable to give that big presentation today, I could totally step in for you. No thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. I didn't eat it. You look thirsty. Let me bring you some tea.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-01 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150472
Caption: C-Dog, my stocks haven't appreciated in years. Should I hold or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for "Big Oatmeal," he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-30 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149667
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote to overturn the rotten system, even if it means voting for a bigoted, thin-skinned, narcissistic chicken little who's always taken advantage of that system. Dios mio. Can't you tell? Make America Great Again.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-04 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-04 Pub. Date: 2016-05-04
Image Number: 142720
Caption: What you called me last night at two a.m. for, Big L? I don't know. I just didn't want to sleep, I guess. Every time I start to drift off, I begin to have this dream I really don't want to have. So I'm just going to stay awake until my subconscious mind gives up and forgets about that dream. I ain't never seen a man play "chicken" with hisself before. I'm going to show me who's boss if it kills me.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-15 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 134847
Caption: I think I'm getting jaded, Doc. Dr. Noodle. A few weeks ago, Blingy & Poshman Jewelers in Candorville did something very, very racist. S. Pookie Blackman is a multimillionaire quarterback for the Candorville Chickens. He stopped by to check out some jewelry. As soon as they saw the 6'10" black man coming, the store employees locked the door, begged him to leave, and then when he rang the doorbell, they called the police. But when I heard all that, all I did was shrug and think "I hope he didn't end up buying anything." I see. It's normal. Sometimes your outrage-muscle needs a rest. I was able to work up some anger about the cops who asked him why he had a nice car.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-07 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-07 Pub. Date: 2015-04-07
Image Number: 125199
Caption: Dick, I stepped out for two minutes to find a spoon, and when I returned, my chicken soup smelled a lot like Ex-Lax. The laxative. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you? I don't know what you mean, Ms. Garcia. Anyway, if for ANY reason you're unable to give that big presentation today, I could totally step in for you. No thanks, Dick. I'll be fine. I didn't eat it. You look thirsty. Let me bring you some tea.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-23 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-23 Pub. Date: 2014-11-23
Image Number: 118627
Caption: Let me give you C-Dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some Native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorten that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-17 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-17 Pub. Date: 2013-11-17
Image Number: 103511
Caption: We've got a little boy due in just a week or so. Dr. Noodle. I think James Henry Washington is a nice, strong, solid name. But Megan said our son has to be named after her favorite uncle. This morning, she said … "Emmett Samuel Nathaniel George Jerry Paul Cartho Washington is a great name." Megan doesn't like to play favorites. Life is largely about playing favorites. Every night we eat chicken-beef-tofu-fish surprise.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-06 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-06 Pub. Date: 2013-06-06
Image Number: 97641
Caption: The chickens are all coming home to roost now! Huh? All these scandals have turned everyone who was already against the President against him! Benghazi-gate, email-gate, drone-gate, IRS-gate, appointing-judges-gate … Every single thing isn't another Watergate. Apathy-gate! Time.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-25 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-25 Pub. Date: 2012-11-25
Image Number: 89912
Caption: Let me give you C-dog's abbreviated history of the United States. Chapter 12: "Thanksgiving." Buncha immigrants get on a boat an' go someplace where they don't even know how to feed themselves. Some native brutha - an ex-slave named Squanto - teach them fools how to grow corn an' how not to eat poison ivy an' spit like that. In return for savin' they life, these immigrants give Squanto a chicken leg an' a coupon to Red Lobster, an' then steal his country. Then Abraham Lincoln sign a licensing deal with Hallmark to make an official "Thanks-Squanto-Now-Stick-Em-Up" day. That's not exactly what happened. They shorted that to "Thanksgiving" cuz it easier to fit on a card.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-31 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-31 Pub. Date: 2012-07-31
Image Number: 84694
Caption: Never mind why, just sell all my stocks, now. Will work for (line drawn through $ and Euro currency symbol) chickens. Slauson Ave.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-08 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-08 Pub. Date: 2012-07-08
Image Number: 82262
Caption: Have you noticed all those commercials about people who pee too much? Yeah. That doesn’t seem like a good sign to me. When a whole country can't hold its bowels, something's wrong. Now I know what you're going to say … You do? It's the bladder that controls that. But now's not the time to nitpick; Not when we're sucking down fake sugar drinks and "chicken nuggets" that for all we know are made of ground-up grizzly bear toenails. Next time I say "Why so quiet?" just say "No reason." There's a reason the whole continent's incontinent.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-03 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-03 Pub. Date: 2011-05-03
Image Number: 60508
Caption: The court trusts that counsel hath recovered from the chicken pox? I hath, your honor. "Hath"? Little known fact: I created - I mean, HAD - the chicken pox once, myself. So counsel has the court's sympathies. HOW old did you say this judge is? It is - I mean, in simpler times it was BELIEVED to be - a curse inflicted on disobedient children through the clever use of sophisticated black magic ... Ancient. Like you but even worse. ... And of course, chickens.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-13 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-13 Pub. Date: 2011-04-13
Image Number: 59638
Caption: I can't open the door, Lemont. Mommy said never to open the door for grown-ups when she's not here. That's it! I can't stand it! I'm never getting custody of m son! Life is a cruel joke! My evil ex's mother is the judge! My lawyer is a six-year-old brat with chicken pox! Go to your room, young man. Huh? That's what Mommy always says when I throw a tantrum. Surprisingly it works. To Hell ... o Kitty ... with you! You can also try sitting in the corner.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-11 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-11 Pub. Date: 2011-04-11
Image Number: 59636
Caption: Hello, this is Mrs. Meeks. Little Billy? Is that you? Where are you? Our two-week continuance is over. Your chicken pox should be all gone. I know you're only six, but … you're my lawyer and I need you. Little Billy - who is my son - is very sick. But all you have to do is ask the judge for a time out. It'll help if you offer her half your Twinkie. BILLY, WHAT THE ... MUPPET ... IS GOING ON?! My name isn't Billy, my name is Mommy.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-28 chicken 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-28 Pub. Date: 2011-03-28
Image Number: 59012
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Hi, Lemont, I know you're not there 'cause you're at your custody hearing. But I want you to come home to this message: I know you're worried you'll lose, but … You're a good man, Lemont, and I have faith in you. Besides, there's a sign: Your lawyer, who had no faith in your case, disappeared. And his six-year-old nephew took over, and you say he's doing a surprisingly good job. Nothing is so persuasive as the heartfelt words of an innocent child. His taking over your case was a sign, Lemont. And signs are important. Nah, I'm here. Had to get a 2-week continuance. My lawyer has the chicken pox. Signs are overrated. Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
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