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Candorville

Comics about chances and chancing.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (69 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-15 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-15 Pub. Date: 2019-01-15
Image Number: 175841
Caption: Hah! You race-baiters got owned! I read your article last week about that little black girl who got shot. How embarrassing for you. When the police said the suspect was a white man in a truck, you all wanted to talk about racism. But it turned out the real shooter was a couple of black guys. Now you're talking about guns and gangs, but not one mention of racism. It's normal to chance your focus when you get new facts. Ha! You flip-flopper. Bet you wish you hadn't made such a big deal out of a little girl getting shot.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-08 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-08 Pub. Date: 2018-09-08
Image Number: 173884
Caption: I think I've figured out why my hair's growing more slowly. You're getting old? It's because I haven't been getting enough vitamin D. I can reverse it if I just add more D to my diet. More dumplings, more deviled eggs, more danishes, more donuts, more daiquiris ... Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, Lemont. If there were a god, it would. Now's her change to prove herself.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-28 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-28 Pub. Date: 2018-08-28
Image Number: 173789
Caption: Armed guards were everywhere. I couldn't take a chance. So I hid and interviewed the Central American toddler refugee from there. What's your name? Nuq oh Pongllj'e? Where are you from? NuqDaq DaDab? So what did the little boy say? Nothing. I'd accidentally set my translate app to Klingon.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-14 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172718
Caption: At the refugee jail. Look on the bright side, little buddy. Now's your chance to get prison-ripped. What? I'm writing a new book in the "Randy's Manuals" series. It's called "The Alpha Male's Guide to Jail." Chapter six is all aobut using the two hours a day of yard-time to develop titanium buns. I'm not sure this'll be a best-seller. You kidding? We jail more people that any country in the entire world.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-30 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171052
Caption: Want to come over? I'll watch old Star Trek reruns with you. No offense … but it's not really fun watching "Trek" with you. Just when I'm really feeling it, you always say something to cheapen the experience … You even ruined the single most shocking moment in all of Trek history: When the Borg assimilates Captain Picard and he announces his new identity to the crew. How did my saying I am locutus of bored ruin anything? You had your chance.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-20 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170578
Caption: I wish I could go back in time and tell myself it's not too late. When I was nine, momma asked me if I wanted guitar lessons. But I told her no, because I thought I was too old. Clyde had been playing guitar since he was three. At nine, I thought I had already missed my chance. If I'd started learning when I was nine, I'd have been playing for decades now. I'd be a master at it by now. Well why don't you take some lessons now? Are you kidding? At my age?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-07 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-07 Pub. Date: 2017-10-07
Image Number: 163375
Caption: You know the best part of having a child, Clyde? Less frustration. Maybe we won't cure death in my lifetime. Maybe I'll never be rich. Maybe I'll never walk on Mars. But there's a chance my son will live forever. Maybe my son will strike it rich. Maybe my son will someday set foot on another world. Maybe my son will have a friend who pays back the $2 he owes him. Maybe you so won't be passive-aggressive.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-03 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-03 Pub. Date: 2017-09-03
Image Number: 161589
Caption: If Democrats know what's good for them, they'll move further right. That's how they can win elections. All my conservative friends agree. And we tell that to every Democrat we see every chance we get. That's very considerate of you, to help out the opposition like that. Oh, I've always been considerate. When I was a small child, I used to let other kids copy my test answers before I changed them to the right ones. Wait ... what was that? What was what? You said you let kids copy your wrong answers before you changed them to the right answers. Did I? I don't think so. You did. It's exactly what you just said you did. If you know what's good for you, you'll just passively accept what others say without thinking too much about it. Let me guess: Your class was graded on a curve?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-15 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-15 Pub. Date: 2017-02-15
Image Number: 154534
Caption: The Chronicle wants to hire me back and send me to cover the whole ISIS thing. A few years ago, I'd have jumped at the chance, no matter how dangerous it is over there for journalists, because the truth is more important than me. But now, all I can think of is that my baby boy needs me. I'm his whole world. That makes me more important than anything. Does that make me a responsible parent, or a raging narcissist? A little raging narcissism is a good thing. Ph.D.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-10 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154241
Caption: Do you know why mankind is so susceptible to authoritarians, Rosencrantz? It's because our brains are wired to accept lies. Our conscious brain can eventually spot a lie. But for it to spot it, our unconscious brain first has to entertain it. And just as when you entertain a guest, there's a chance the guest will overstay his welcome, put up photos of his loved ones, and before you know it, he's moved in and you can't get rid of him. I'll say it one last time: I want my side of the sidewalk crack back, Tyrone. I don't know what you mean, I've always been on this side.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-01 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-01 Pub. Date: 2017-01-01
Image Number: 152168
Caption: Well ... the Great Author in the Sky has given us another year, brotha. What're you gonna do with it? Are you gonna be a more humble person? Are you going to try and figure out why you're here -- what you're supposed to accomplish? Are you going to shed yourself of anyone and anything in your life that doesn't help you fulfill your purpose on earth? Are you going to use every day as a chance to become who you're meant to be? I'ma take a nap. (Sigh) I guess some people are meant to be couches.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-29 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151551
Caption: I demand to know why you pulled me off the Trump account, Mr. Fitzhugh. Ok, here it is: We took you off the account because of several negative Facebook posts about Trump during the election. What're you talking about? I never posted anything political. Anything at all! No, but a Facebook friend of yours "liked" a negative post someone else made. We don't want to take any chances.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-20 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149907
Caption: Mr. Trump, a couple weeks ago, you said something outrageous and I want to give you a chance to clarify your thoughts. Vancouver Taxi. Listen, all I said was I kiss women and grab their junk without permission. What's the big deal? EVERY guy brags about how he sexually assaults broads. Trump. (A) I was referring to your comment about the "Central Park Five," and (B) ... No, no they don't!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-11 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-11 Pub. Date: 2016-05-11
Image Number: 143023
Caption: Seriously, you should cast me in your commercial, Susan. I've always wanted to act. I need money. The thought of connecting with an audience on an emotional level is just intoxicating. I need money. I've always wanted a chance to connect with an audience on an emotional level I need money. I REALLY wish I could, Lemont, but I can only cast union actors. You'd probably stink. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-26).
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-11 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-11 Pub. Date: 2016-03-11
Image Number: 140182
Caption: I wish I could go back in time and tell myself it's not too late. When I was nine, momma asked me if I wanted guitar lessons. But I told her no, because I thought I was too old. Clyde had been playing guitar since he was three. At nine, I thought I had already missed my chance. If I'd started learning when I was nine, I'd have been playing for decades now. I'd be a master at it by now. Well why don't you take some lessons now? Are you kidding? At MY age?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-06 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139630
Caption: Hi Elmer, election day is almost here! You may remember that we helped you register to vote at a student even at University of Texas at Austin. "Elmer"? This election is the most important election someone in your community has ever faced. Now is your chance to take control for all Antarctic-Americans and really weigh in on the issues you indicated matter most to you ... such as "climate change," "wool sweater importation tariffs," and "penguin-albatross miscegenation." Can we count on you to vote, Mr. Fudd? Bruh, I ain't never been to University of Texas in Austin. Somebody done clowned you with the wrong number. But we gave you a free frisbee. An' what the @#$% I care about "penguin-albatross miscegenation"? Love is love.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-28 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-28 Pub. Date: 2015-06-28
Image Number: 128375
Caption: Hello Concast Cable? This is Lemont Brown. I'd like you to stop calling me. You don't really want that. Yes, I do. Stop trying to get me back. It's over. It's satellite … isn't it? I could give you more than satellite gives you … just give me a chance. No, its not ... Listen, it's not you, it's not satellite. A couple years ago, I discovered Roku. And all of a sudden, Roku gave me Netflix, and Hulu, and Crackle on my tv ... and all of a sudden I had what I never knew I'd been missing. So you see, it's not you, Concast ... it's me. You're just saying that. Yeah. I am. it IS you. You and your stupid van and your smug attitude and your crazy hidden fees. It would be a shame if I were to raise your broadband bill and then you couldn't afford to stream Netflix. See? This! This is exactly the sort of thing that made me leave you!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-08 chance 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-08 Pub. Date: 2015-06-08
Image Number: 128067
Caption: A cop in Cleveland jumped onto the hood of a car after a long chase … and fired 49 times at the unarmed people in the car. It all started when the driver fled from a traffic stop … and then his car back fired as it drove past police headquarters. Cops mistook that for gunfire. That's why when I'm in a car an' it backfires, I dive out the window, an' tuck and roll. A brutha can't take no chances. I always wondered why you do that.
     
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