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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-21 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-21 Pub. Date: 2019-11-21
Image Number: 180467
Caption: The next election may be the last election. Russia hacked election systems in all fifty states last time. All signs point to that being just a trial run. And since one of our parties has spent the last couple decades suppressing votes, half the country has been trained not to care whether elections are fair. I think all votes should count, when they're cast by the right people. I heard that.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-20 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-20 Pub. Date: 2019-11-20
Image Number: 180466
Caption: I think everything went wrong when people decided not to care about the Iran-Contra thing. That's when we decided presidents could do whatever they want and get away with it. Our Democracy has been circling the drain of authoritarianism for the last 32 years. What we're witnessing now is just the big flush. It's a new metaphor I'm trying out. You should keep working on that.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-16 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-16 Pub. Date: 2019-11-16
Image Number: 180303
Caption: How come you ain't fillin' your prescription at the pharmacy, bruh? My insurance is refusing to cover memory-loss meds. Don't worry, I got you. Whachoo need? I got Aricept, Exelon, Razadyne, Criscolon, Franaphran … Did you just make some of that up? Dilithiumanadyneaphran ...
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-05 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-05 Pub. Date: 2019-11-05
Image Number: 180233
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. He asked who bought it. I said A neighbor. He whimpered and blubbered But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it! … I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when you son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-25 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-25 Pub. Date: 2019-10-25
Image Number: 180024
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think Sasha Mitchell's playing games with my feelings. Not that I have any feelings for her. I have an incredible girlfriend. What do I care that Sasha came to town, said she'd love to see me, and then when I finally agreed to have lunch with her she stood me up for another guy and then told me how great her date was? I think playing games is an understatement. I'm no kid, Susan. I don't fall for games anymore. Besides, I was up all night pondering it, and I don't think there really is another guy.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-25 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-25 Pub. Date: 2019-09-25
Image Number: 179619
Caption: Clyde, how would you feel about composing music for commercials? What? Well, our in-house composer just perished in a freak Beluga whale accident, so … we're hiring. Who we is? You've known me since we were six … you don't … you don't even care what I do for a living, do you? Since when do not havin' no interest in somethin' mean a person don't care?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-20 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-20 Pub. Date: 2019-08-20
Image Number: 179094
Caption: Hey, Turbo, it's Lemont. We haven't spoke in decades, and I don't even remember why. Something about me not caring how you felt about stuff, or whatever. Well, actually, no I don't want to let bygones be bygones. I'm writing a memoir, so I'm hoping you can remind me what happened ... Hello?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-26 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-26 Pub. Date: 2019-07-26
Image Number: 178673
Caption: Clyde, what was going on between you and Ice-T on Twitter the other day? Jus' a Twitter beef, bruh. Even a O.G. I respect ain't above some schoolin'. But both of you just went back and forth about which one of you cared less about the back and forth you were doing. All day. Fools better recognize that I couldn't care less if they recognize.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-01 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-01 Pub. Date: 2019-07-01
Image Number: 178356
Caption: I saw you in the Democratic debates last week. You did pretty well. I just told it like it is, cuz. I was honest. Blunt. Candid. It's like you didn't care at all what voters thought of your answers. My internal polling shows voters eat that @#$% up. I liked how, after you crushed Biden with that one answer, you strutted over to him and dropped his mic.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-08 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-08 Pub. Date: 2019-06-08
Image Number: 177957
Caption: We missed you at Lionel's soccer game this morning. I meant to come. You've meant to come to this birthday parties, to his piano recitals, to his day care senior play … Who wants to watch three-year-olds perform Grapes of Wrath? I mean I had a big project at work. You really missed out. They performed it dressed as actual grapes.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-07 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-07 Pub. Date: 2019-06-07
Image Number: 177956
Caption: Hi, Momma. Yes, The Giving Tree book you send Lionel did just arrive. Well … we didn't call to thank you because it just got her 20 minutes ago. Well … Yes, actually, calling you in 19 minutes ago would have been too much trouble, because we were racing out to get to day care in time. Well ... yes, I do remember how long you were in labor. But I don't see what that ahs to do with -- well ...
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-03 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-03 Pub. Date: 2019-06-03
Image Number: 177936
Caption: I need to supplement my income. Would driving for Uber be a good idea? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. 'Fore I begin, bruh, full disclosure … I own a lot of Uber stock. But that in no way affect what I say about it. When I give advice, I couldn't care less whether it make me money or cost me money. I'm offended you'd even entertain the notion. I hard some Uber drivers actually lose money. Fake news.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-26 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177771
Caption: One of my readers asked me Why do I sense such anger in you? What'd you say? I said That's probably because I'm not a sociopath. I said When people die because they can't afford health insurance, I care. When we tell kids they're nothing without college and then saddle them with loans they can never repay ... I care. When people figure out all sorts of ways to keep black people from voting, I care ... When poor people are being lied to about whether their water is safe to drink, I care. When our President separates toddlers and babies from their asylum-seeking mothers for months, I care. And because I care, I'm angered. I bet being a sociopath is relaxing. I'll relax when there's not more police brutality. Shut up, I'm trying to relax.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-08 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-08 Pub. Date: 2019-05-08
Image Number: 177530
Caption: So … today was the day Toddlerville Day Care taught your son what to do if an active shooter hunted them in the potty? Yeah. The kids took turns standing on toilet seats and scrunching down so the shooter can't see their feet or head. What're they going to have to teach them next, how to escape through a window after they break it with a ... whachoomacallit? Safety hammer. Lionel wanted the Paw Patrol safety hammer, but they gave him the Kermit one, so he's pretty upset. Stop. I can't take any more.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-07 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-07 Pub. Date: 2019-05-07
Image Number: 177529
Caption: Little Lionel said Toddlerville Day Care had another active shooter drill today. They practiced how to hide under their desks and stifle their cries while they heard gunshots and saw friends die. Lionel was so proud that they chose him to play one of the fallen victims. All we had to rehearse for was the school play. Tomorrow they practice what to do if it happens while they're in the potty.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-06 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-06 Pub. Date: 2019-05-06
Image Number: 177508
Caption: I applied for a Home Depot credit card, Susan. What? Why? You rent. How much Home Depot stuff could you need? Well, when I picked little Lionel up from Toddlerville day care and asked him what he learned today … he said they learned how to barricade the door and hide form an active shooter. This country is sick. Toddlerville told me they didn't have the budget for bulletproof doors, so I figured I'd build them some.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-05 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-05 Pub. Date: 2019-04-05
Image Number: 177046
Caption: Looks like the President's finally going to destroy Obamacare. Millions would lose their insurance. Millions more would be thrown of Medicaid. Tens of thousands will die because they won't be covered anymore. On the bright side, I'll be able to tell all my old "pre-existing conditions" jokes again. They do say laughter keep you healthy.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-19 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-19 Pub. Date: 2019-03-19
Image Number: 176836
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-17 care 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-17 Pub. Date: 2019-02-17
Image Number: 176076
Caption: Kelly Facebooked me the other day. She says she's getting married … Dr. Noodle … but that thoughts of me keep tugging at her heart. I replied I didn't know whether to be happy for her, and she wrote she didn't know either. So I wrote Don't marry him! Why do you care? I don't care. I'm way over her. I never even think about her anymore. I just think that, generally speaking, nobody should marry anyone if they're not sure it's going to make them happy. My concern is for all of Kellykind. Do you mean mankind? What did I say?
     
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