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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-19 Pub. Date: 2019-02-19
Image Number: 176398
Caption: I'm declaring my candidacy. For what? Health Commissioner of Candorville, the fine nearly township from whence my clan hails. I'm going to right the ship of America. Bring it on, whiny Democrats! I miss the jungle.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-15 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-15 Pub. Date: 2018-03-15
Image Number: 169408
Caption: Hello, this is the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. We hear you're running for Congress s a progressive Justice Democrat. That's right. And we see you've actually pulled ahead of the Republican, in a district we always though was unwinnable. We're just calling to congratulate you on demonstrating a Democrat can actually win this race. House of Java Cybercafe. Thank you. So you're going to help me? We're going to ask you to step aside so one of our rich ... I mean, one of our approved candidates can take over from here.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-14 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-14 Pub. Date: 2017-10-14
Image Number: 163645
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's you problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada! Canada! Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163103
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, I, Sadie Cohen, will discuss one topic: Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened." It reminds me of the very first political memoir I ever read. The year was 1921. Warren G. Harding had just pantsed the Democrat James M. Cox. After emerging form the woods, loser Cox was ready to reflect. He traveled by donkey from town to town to hawk his book: "That Which Occurred." When she's gone, all these little details will be lost to history. This is almost as good as her show about Grover Cleveland's third nipple.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-28 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157937
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you out of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-13 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155664
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Rudy, did you realize its illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote? Wink wink wink … and that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend, Patsy Marionette, for city council? Wink wink wink. I would never order you to donate to Patsy campaign fund either, as if your job depended on it. Wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink. That's good to know. I believe we're on the same page here. Wink.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-26 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-26 Pub. Date: 2017-01-26
Image Number: 153710
Caption: I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hope "The Midnight Sun" is one of them. That was a sexy episode.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-12 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-12 Pub. Date: 2016-11-12
Image Number: 150765
Caption: The election's over, boss, I don't think anyone wants reminded of it. Who's reminding them? All I asked you to do is make a few teensy little changes to our café's billboards. Change them from "House of Java beats Coffee King in 9 out of 10 taste tests: to "Crooked Coffee King is the most corrupt cafe in history. They're absolutely terrible." Nobody wants to see ads that remind them of Donald Trump!!! And change our print ads to "Coffee King should be in jail, believe me."
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-09 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150762
Caption: Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-08 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-08 Pub. Date: 2016-11-08
Image Number: 150761
Caption: I'm surprised you're not out yelling "go vote!" at people through your bullhorn, Mort. I don't want to risk it. People are so fed up with this horrible, awful, disgusting election … I worry that one more mention of it could backfire and cause the entire township to just stay home and sleep. You sure it's not 'cause of all the "Trump" yard signs around here? Nonsense. I just think this year, nobody really needs a reminder.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-07 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150760
Caption: Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-20 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149919
Caption: I've decided. I know who I'm voting for, Randy. Do tell, little buddy. Well, I decided that in order to truly be better than the rest of you, I'd have to be completely above political parties or any one ideology. So I've decided to vote for George Washington. He's the only candidate who was never in a party and had no ideology. Even if that were true, isn't being against ideology an ideology? Don't try to propagandize me with your anti-anti-ideology ideology.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-19 Pub. Date: 2016-10-19
Image Number: 149918
Caption: I'm torn, Randy. I'm so undecided about this election. You're still undecided about the candidates? No, I'm undecided about whether to be undecided. On the one hand, it could make me seem like I'm unbiased. Like I'm not beholden to any particular ideology. Like I'm above it all. But on the other hand, it could make me look like I'm too dumb to tell the difference between things that are different. Take a couple weeks to ponder that. No rush.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-18 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-18 Pub. Date: 2016-10-18
Image Number: 149917
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing once single topic: Undecided voters. America has the longest campaigns in the world. You've had two whole years to watch the candidates and make up your minds. Call me and tell my why you're such a namby-pamby slacker!!! ... and don't all of you wait until 30 seconds before this show goes off the air.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-17 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-17 Pub. Date: 2016-10-17
Image Number: 149916
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? When I grow up, I want to be a star, so that I can grab women by the nethers. Well first of all, why are your parents letting you watch the presidential race. I should call child protective services. You're a loser. You're overrated. You're a total failure.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-12 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149623
Caption: I think Uncle Mort's lost it, Randy. I disagree, little buddy. Maybe he does think a dolphin called him on the phone. But that's not conclusive. Sure, he says the dolphin told him all the earth's sentient species convened an unprecedented council and vowed to band together to exterminate us if we voted for Donald Trump ... but maybe he's just talking in metaphor. This morning he threw himself on the mercy of a salamander.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-11 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-11 Pub. Date: 2016-10-11
Image Number: 149622
Caption: You got a phone call from who? From a "Mrs. Click-Whistle-Chirp." She's a dolphin. She wanted us to know that all the sea creatures and all the land mammals have banded together … to demand that we not elect Donald Trump. They haven't felt this compelled to speak to us since they convinced Noah to build that ark. I guess there are two sides to every story. They'd also like us to know "Flipper" and "Gentle Ben" were stereotyped.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-10 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149621
Caption: Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient species of the earth would like you to please consider not voting for Donald Trump.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-07 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-07 Pub. Date: 2016-10-07
Image Number: 149322
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem? House of Java Cybercafe. I keep thinking back to the first debate between Trump and crooked Hillary. The more I think about it, the more fantastic I think Trump did. He was strong. Tremendous. Big-league. Give it up, Donald! I know it's you! A real man can admit it when a girl mops the floor with him. Nobody mopped the floor with Trump! That's all a media conspiracy! Never happened!
     
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