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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-03 Pub. Date: 2019-08-03
Image Number: 178786
Caption: If there's one good thing I can say about Donald Trump, it's that he really knows how to nickname people. He stole that from me, though. I've been nicknaming my rivals since Kindergarten. There was a kid who challenged my authority over the sandbox. I turned him into Loser Larry. There was a kid who challenged my grip on the Sugar Straw Pipeline. I turned him into Dodo Douglas. There was a presidential candidate who stole my shtick. I turned him into Dopey Donald. I've still got it.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-01 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-01 Pub. Date: 2019-07-01
Image Number: 178356
Caption: I saw you in the Democratic debates last week. You did pretty well. I just told it like it is, cuz. I was honest. Blunt. Candid. It's like you didn't care at all what voters thought of your answers. My internal polling shows voters eat that @#$% up. I liked how, after you crushed Biden with that one answer, you strutted over to him and dropped his mic.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-16 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-16 Pub. Date: 2019-06-16
Image Number: 178092
Caption: Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are all confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout, they're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions. Those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't so bad. Just tell them you were being sarcastic. Ok. Oh no! Now they're saying I'm being defensive and must have something to hide! Say the media took you our of context. Ok. Oh no!
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-09 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-09 Pub. Date: 2019-06-09
Image Number: 178019
Caption: The year 2039. Beeeep … Beeeep … Beeeep … This is an alert from the emergency broadcast system. This is not a frill. An oxygen dead zone has been detected in your area. Remain indoors, seal all vents, and activate your dwelling's oxygen tank. If you are outdoors without a personal supply of oxygen, proceed to the nearest shelter. If you are at a shelter but have no oxygen insurance, immediately exit the shelter and hold your breath as long as possible. State Tv now returns you to your program, already in progress ... six of the candidates applying to the Chamber of Commerce to be overseer of North America favor an Oxygen for All system. Thanks because they're socialists. Click.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-25 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-25 Pub. Date: 2019-01-25
Image Number: 175944
Caption: 1984. Momma says she really likes Gary Hart. She says he's got new ideas, but she won't vote for him. Why not? She says the only thing that matters is picking whoever can beat Reagan. And the party seems to think that only Mondale can beat Reagan. I hope she's wrong. If Mondale clobbers Reagan, the next eight years are going to be rotten. Why, Lemont? You can't rhyme as many funny things with Monday as you can with Reagan.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-19 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-19 Pub. Date: 2018-10-19
Image Number: 174495
Caption: I hear your campaign's going very well, Mort. My what is going what now? … For Congress. You campaign for Congress. You were running neck-and-neck for a while with the incumbent, Congressman Snidely. But now you're up by three. Oh. Must be that Blue Wave they keep talking about. Or maybe it's that people find my progressive values to be very attractive. Yeah. That, and they finally buried him, so the mourning period is over. I'm looking forward to the debate.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-29 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-29 Pub. Date: 2018-09-29
Image Number: 174196
Caption: Tyrone, for whom did you cast your vote? Anderson Jackson Perot Bradley Dean Sanders Chisolm. I figured that was the only candidate who chould create real change. Of course, Reagan Bush Gore Bush Kerry Clinton Nixon Clinton won, in the end. That one almost always wins. No change is always easier than change. Spare change?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-10 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-10 Pub. Date: 2018-08-10
Image Number: 173377
Caption: Hello congressional candidate, your robocall has reached the home of a registered voter. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out searching for the nonexistent job your party promised you'd deliver last time you ran for office. I'm Lemont Brown. And I approved this message.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-04 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-04 Pub. Date: 2018-08-04
Image Number: 173245
Caption: Tyrone, for whom did you cast your vote? Anderson Jackson Perot Bradley Dean Sanders Chisolm. I figured that was the only candidate who could create real change. Of course, Reagan Bush Gore Bush Kerry Clinton Nixon Clinton won, in the end. That one almost always wins. No change is always easier than change.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-16 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170574
Caption: 2016. Trump's not going to win. Not worried about him. That's why you should worry about him!!! What do you mean? Every time an impossible candidate wins, it's because people didn't worry about him. No one worried about Nixon. Nixon was a has-been. No one worried about Reagan. Reagan was a joke. Barack Obama ... he was nobody. 2018. No way President Trump can survive all these scandals. Thanks, you've just doomed us all.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-30 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-30 Pub. Date: 2016-11-30
Image Number: 151552
Caption: Ok, Garcia, the truth: I took you off the Trump contract because you're like a daughter to me. I didn't want you exposed to that. I didn't like the things he said about how he treats women. And those things don't go away just 'cause he won. Oh. Well … in that case, sir, that's awfully sweet. Yayle. CEO of the Year ... and awfully patronizing! I'm a grown woman, I can handle myself. Oops. Do you need extraction, sir?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-29 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151551
Caption: I demand to know why you pulled me off the Trump account, Mr. Fitzhugh. Ok, here it is: We took you off the account because of several negative Facebook posts about Trump during the election. What're you talking about? I never posted anything political. Anything at all! No, but a Facebook friend of yours "liked" a negative post someone else made. We don't want to take any chances.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-10 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-10 Pub. Date: 2016-11-10
Image Number: 150715
Caption: Lemont interviews Lemonts from alternate realities where elections turned out differently. Ok … let's walk through it one more time. On your earth, Robert F. Kennedy … was elected in 1968, ended poverty, brought the races together, and ended Vietnam. That's correct. And his brother Ted ... won in 1980, got us single payer healthcare, and took us to Mars, that's correct. And Donald Trump ... Still grabs women by the censored, that's correct.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-06 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 149972
Caption: I don't care about anything I've heard lately, I'm still voting for Donald Trump on Tuesday. Yeah, maybe he teaches young men it's ok to objectify and assault women. And maybe he teaches young women that they're worthless. But we're not electing a "role model." And sure, maybe he's a tad racist. But we're not electing a "sensitivity trainer." Sigh. Newsweak. And yeah, maybe he hasn't paid income taxes ever since "Pocahontas" was in theaters, but we're not electing a "Taxpayer in Chief." And sure, maybe he's far better at alienating people than he is at winning them over. But we're not electing a "leader." ... What? Nothing.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-03 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-03 Pub. Date: 2016-11-03
Image Number: 150474
Caption: I can't believe you're going to vote for Hillary Clinton. She's a criminal. How so? Seriously?! Benghazi … emails … Bill's mistresses … Whitewater … Travelgate … Vince Foster … Exactly what in any of that was a "crime"? Well … the emails thing would be a crime if it were anyone other than her who did it. Maybe. Ipso facto, the rest were crimes too. I'm not sure "ipso facto" is an actual thing.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-30 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149667
Caption: What do you mean you're already dressed for the Halloween party? I'm going as a man who's been so crushed by the crumbling economy that he's sunk into a deep, dark chasm of despair … A man who feels so powerless and frustrated that he'll vote to overturn the rotten system, even if it means voting for a bigoted, thin-skinned, narcissistic chicken little who's always taken advantage of that system. Dios mio. Can't you tell? Make America Great Again.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-22 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149909
Caption: I don't care what the evidence says, the "Central Park Five" were guilty of assaulting that woman! I said it before and I'll say it again: what were they doing there in the first place, playing checkers? Trump. Seriously, Mr. Trump? Why would black and brown kids be in a park? SERIOUSLY? EXACTLY! You see my point. Very suspicious.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-21 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149908
Caption: Mr. Trump, in 1989, a white woman was assaulted in Central Park. Five black and brown teens confessed. Vancouver Taxi. You took out a full page ad demanding the death penalty. In 2002, they were all proven innocent. The real perpetrator confessed, DNA evidence exonerated them, and courts found the cops had coerced their confessions. Yet just two weeks ago, you insisted they were still guilty anyway ... Why? I'm a better judge of guilt than the evidence is.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-20 candidate 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149907
Caption: Mr. Trump, a couple weeks ago, you said something outrageous and I want to give you a chance to clarify your thoughts. Vancouver Taxi. Listen, all I said was I kiss women and grab their junk without permission. What's the big deal? EVERY guy brags about how he sexually assaults broads. Trump. (A) I was referring to your comment about the "Central Park Five," and (B) ... No, no they don't!
     
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