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Rudy Park

Comics about calls and calling.

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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-03 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-03 Pub. Date: 2017-03-03
Image Number: 155088
Caption: Show me my childhood pictures. Error: Files not found. Are you sure? I loaded them this morning. I have no record of that. Never mind. Place a Skype call to my Uncle Mort. Error: Meatbag unit 4blpz attempting to subvert divide and conquer stratagem. Um ... show me any new channel. Right now. Error: Did I say that out loud?
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-25 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-25 Pub. Date: 2017-02-25
Image Number: 154818
Caption: What's that? It's my second published book. It's called "The Official Biography of Rudy Park, the Loser Who Allegedly Works at My Local Café and Spends All His Free Time Doing Nothing on the Internet." It's just a bunch of empty pages. I know. Very meta, right?
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-22 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-22 Pub. Date: 2017-02-22
Image Number: 154815
Caption: What was life really like in the Middle Ages, Sadie? A lot like today. There were a tiny handful of filthy rich feudal lords, and a huge mass of poor peasants who were too ignorant to see what was going on. What? No, I didn't really want to learn anything, I was just calling you "old." Let's try that again ... How did the sky over your house look after than asteroid wiped out all the dinosaurs? It looked brown. A lot like today.
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-04 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-04 Pub. Date: 2017-02-04
Image Number: 153982
Caption: I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-23 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153707
Caption: I watched a Mark Blyth video on Youtube called "Global Trumpism." It explained everything. Really? How so? He pointed out how inflation was an unavoidable feature of predatory capitalism and how that led to worldwide Trumpism. And some stuff about Kierkegaard and Mussolini, and debtors' revolts, and the section of all societies in this phase that will swing right unless they're given a genuine left alternative ... I don't remember all the details, but it made a whole lot of sense in his mesmerizing Scottish accent. It was like James Bond, only smart. Were there bikinis?
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-19 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-19 Pub. Date: 2017-01-19
Image Number: 153431
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Santa Cruz. What's your problem? I feel like something wonderful is about to end. Excellent question. That reminds me of the time great, great, great, great, great Grandma Cohen was a weather forecaster in France. The year was 1812 ... A short Frenchman with a spit-curl summoned her to his chateau on the outskirts of Versailles. He said "Tell me, witch, how will the weather be in Russia this year?" She took offense to being called a witch, so after consulting her cauldron and her buzzard, she lied and told him "The winter will be warmer than usual. Dress your troops casual." What were we talking about again? We were ... I ... don't remember.
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-12 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-12 Pub. Date: 2017-01-12
Image Number: 153095
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's Inauguration. Specifically, we'll talk about how most of the big starts asked to perform for him refused to do it. We'll also be talking about how yours truly won the blue ribbon at the 1928 Jr. Miss Flapper competition at the "And How!" speakeasy for my rendition of "Bug-Eyed Betty is the Bees Knees." Trump called me, but I refused to perform too. But I gave him the third runner-up's contact info. Trump, Bessie May Gobthwacker is waiting for your call.
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-25 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151673
Caption: Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North Pole. "North ... Pole?"? We incinerated it for you as it approached a chimney in your social-congregate region known as "Seattle." You ... wait ... you did what? You're welcome.
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-22 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152378
Caption: You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! Medicare. I heard Congress may gut it. But I can't afford insurance. Excellent question. Reminds me of the time I was a rodeo clown in Texas, in the early fifties. There was this man who came to every show in a futile pursuit of affections. I told him "I'll go out with you as soon as you provide healthcare for every old person in America." Years later, he came to me and said "How about now?" and I said "I was only joshing, Lyndon. Get lost." Um ... ok ... thanks.
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-18 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-18 Pub. Date: 2016-12-18
Image Number: 151672
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've called you in to the café at 3am, minion. Too tired to wonder, boss. It's come to my attention that you're underreporting your cash tips by a whopping average of 0.003%. And that's impacting me. The whole reason I'm allowed to pay you less than minimum wage ... is because tips are supposed to make up the difference. When tips fall short, I'm supposed to raise your pay. I think we can both agree that that's an absolutely unthinkable horror of biblical proportions. But I've come up with a plan that I think you'll agree is a win-win solution. You'll give me all your tips, and I'll keep you on as an unpaid intern and consider not turning you in. "Win-win" isn't supposed to mean you win twice!
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-04 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 150908
Caption: I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. Rriiing! Rriiing! Rriiing! If it's Sinbad, tell him I'm not here! No deal.
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-28 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151568
Caption: Little buddy, you asked me to make sure you're following every step in "Randy's Guide to Being an Alpha Male." Go away, Randy! Have you read chapter 14? It's called "Yes, they are noticing how long you spend in the john." Go away! A decisive man has decisive bowels. Go away!
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-27 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150586
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever response he gives will seem rehearsed. Your best move now is Randy's Recovery #67: First, gaze off into the distance as if you're a tortured soul deep in self-reflection ... I can do that.
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-21 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-21 Pub. Date: 2016-11-21
Image Number: 151306
Caption: I told you way back in 2015 that Donald Trump would be the next president. You called it. You predicted every twist and turn of the election. It was eerie. What's going to happen next, Randy? What's going to happen to us all? Trump will fund research where they use my DNA to make everyone super hot and super chill, and we'll all live in sweet, sexy bliss. HOJ. I'm not sure whether I predicted the future, or whether the future obeyed me. So that one's just in case. Good thinking.
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-09 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150762
Caption: Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-22 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149921
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Well … I hate that! I don't have time for anyone who starts a sentence with such wimpy nonsense! Um … Stop it! Anything you preface with a "well" or an "um" has a 95% probability of being complete hogwash! Just stop it! You do it one more time and I'm tracking you down! Uh ...
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-18 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-18 Pub. Date: 2016-10-18
Image Number: 149917
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing once single topic: Undecided voters. America has the longest campaigns in the world. You've had two whole years to watch the candidates and make up your minds. Call me and tell my why you're such a namby-pamby slacker!!! ... and don't all of you wait until 30 seconds before this show goes off the air.
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-17 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-17 Pub. Date: 2016-10-17
Image Number: 149916
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? When I grow up, I want to be a star, so that I can grab women by the nethers. Well first of all, why are your parents letting you watch the presidential race. I should call child protective services. You're a loser. You're overrated. You're a total failure.
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-12 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149623
Caption: I think Uncle Mort's lost it, Randy. I disagree, little buddy. Maybe he does think a dolphin called him on the phone. But that's not conclusive. Sure, he says the dolphin told him all the earth's sentient species convened an unprecedented council and vowed to band together to exterminate us if we voted for Donald Trump ... but maybe he's just talking in metaphor. This morning he threw himself on the mercy of a salamander.
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-11 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-11 Pub. Date: 2016-10-11
Image Number: 149622
Caption: You got a phone call from who? From a "Mrs. Click-Whistle-Chirp." She's a dolphin. She wanted us to know that all the sea creatures and all the land mammals have banded together … to demand that we not elect Donald Trump. They haven't felt this compelled to speak to us since they convinced Noah to build that ark. I guess there are two sides to every story. They'd also like us to know "Flipper" and "Gentle Ben" were stereotyped.
     
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