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Candorville

Comics about calls and calling.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-13 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-13 Pub. Date: 2019-12-13
Image Number: 180769
Caption: In all the years I've endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother. It's almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth. When's the last time you called your mother? December 2, 1992. The day before text messaging was introduced. Ingrate!!!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-11 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-11 Pub. Date: 2019-12-11
Image Number: 180767
Caption: 1982. Last night I looked across the alley and saw your light on, but you weren't answering your tin can. I didn't know you called me. Maybe the string wasn't tight enough to receive the call. But I was busy anyway. I was writing to my pen pal. Chuck's been having trouble working up the courage to talk to some little red-haired girl. He was even too timid to try my suggested pull her hair ice-breaker. That's my best move. I don't know why you men think us women like that. Try my can again tonight, I'll try to get better reception.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-06 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-06 Pub. Date: 2019-12-06
Image Number: 180645
Caption: Feudalbanc Massacard, this is Ryan. How may I hinder you? You could tell me why you lowered my credit limit to just below my balance … and then you charged me an over-limit fee. Potomu chto my mozhem. You know Google translate exists now, right, Ryan?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-25 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-25 Pub. Date: 2019-11-25
Image Number: 180571
Caption: I can't stand it when black people whine about so-called racism. We live in a country where hundreds of thousands of white people died in a civil war to end slavery. How could people still think racism is a big part of this country in light of that history? Well, first of all ... didn't 260,000 of those Americans die trying to keep slavery? Ancient history. Has nothing to do with anything.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-06 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-06 Pub. Date: 2019-11-06
Image Number: 180253
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window and saw the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib- Lionel later told me he'd called anonymously, using the name Daniel Tiger, so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-29 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-29 Pub. Date: 2019-10-29
Image Number: 180103
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? A lot of my readers have turned one me. All because I wrote an article called The New McCarthyism about how Democrats took legit intelligence about Russian interfering in our elections … and went way too far with it. Now, one Democrat will accuse another Democrat of being a Russian bot if that Democrat even mildly critiques a Democrat that Democrat likes. You sound like a Russian bot. That's what my readers said.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-17 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-17 Pub. Date: 2019-10-17
Image Number: 179917
Caption: Jodie at work called me a Type A person. It offended me. Type A's are ambitious, outgoing, proactive, concerned with time-management … but they're also rigidly organized. I specifically planned to be flexibly organized at this point of my life. Couldn't you just move flexible to your fifties? That would throw everything off!!!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-13 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-13 Pub. Date: 2019-10-13
Image Number: 179803
Caption: The other day, my little girl insisted that our dog was a horse. Dr. Noodle. So I took her to a ranch and showed her a real horse. She said This is a horsey? Then … our doggie is a doggie. That evening, we had dinner with my dad. He said The President has never lied. That shocked me. So I pulled up the Washington Post's list of over 12,000 lies the President's told. He dismissed it all as fake news, called reporters Enemies of the people, and said Jeff Bezos and everyone who buys from Amazon are of questionable citizenship. I still don't think it's wide of you to refuse to talk to anyone older than three from now on. Do you happen to know any toddlers with a psychiatric degree.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-09 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-09 Pub. Date: 2019-10-09
Image Number: 179806
Caption: I'm using reader feedback to perfect a book I'm writing called Lemont's Axioms of the Internet. Ooh. Tell me more. I posted my first axiom on my site and waited for the comments. What's the axiom? Lemont's first axiom: People who start a reply with actually almost always go on to write something that's utter nonsense. Actually, I think that's very observant of you, Lemont. 89 percent of my readers wrote exactly the same thing.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-04 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-04 Pub. Date: 2019-10-04
Image Number: 179729
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! My son just started preschool. This sweet, innocent child who's seen nothing but Sesame Street … came home after the first week and started hitting us and yelling You're a bad guy! Good guys hit bad guys! Yes, yes, it's an age-old problem: The corrupting influence of his peers. Might I suggest you wrap your angel in cellophane to protect him from the world? Better yet, launch him into space, where not even the cold virus can ever reach him! He did have the sniffles.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-24 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-24 Pub. Date: 2019-09-24
Image Number: 179618
Caption: I'd like to discuss a collaboration, Lemont. I'm all ears, Perry. Perry? Don't you meant Mr. White? When you worked here, you called me Mr. White. Your blog may be the internet's 47th largest source for news and opinion, but don't let that go to your head ... Brown. The chronicle fell to number 48, I take it. The chronicle would like to parachute you into the inferno engulfing the Amazon ... to report on it, I mean.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-23 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-23 Pub. Date: 2019-09-23
Image Number: 179617
Caption: … So I asked him Just how are you going to call the police when you're all tied up? Pardon me. Couldn't help but overhear. Tied up makes no sense when you think about it. When you wrap a rope around something, the rope actually goes around and around not up. Someone needs to smack you around. That makes no sense either.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-16 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-16 Pub. Date: 2019-09-16
Image Number: 179498
Caption: Dick Fink, if Lemont Brown calls, can you put it through? Afraid not, ma'am. I don't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is a day of rest. Even the Lord doesn't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is Saturday. Today is Monday. I don't consult calendars on the Sabbath.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-30 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-30 Pub. Date: 2019-08-30
Image Number: 179195
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. it reminds me of the time in 1863 when grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field in Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General lee, and the rest is history. Um ... Ok ...
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-12 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-12 Pub. Date: 2019-08-12
Image Number: 178994
Caption: … So I replied What do you mean your charging me $90 for my birth-control pills? My insurance covers those. And guess what the pharmacist said, Mr. Fitzhugh. I couldn't begin to guess. He said Apparently your employer switched you to a new plan that doesn't cover sluttiness. Sir, did you say to pretend you have an important call after ten minutes, or after fifteen? Five! Explain.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-06 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-06 Pub. Date: 2019-08-06
Image Number: 178907
Caption: ICE and border patrol are really detaining Americans? Even American children. Back in March, they detained nin-year-old Julia Medina for 36 hours and interrogated her without her parents. She's an American who lives in Tijuana, and she had her passport. They tried to get her 14-year-old brother to say she was his cousin. What? Why? I asked them then they asked me for my passport. So I panicked and jumped into a passing freight train ... But I'll make a follow-up call tomorrow.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-25 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-25 Pub. Date: 2019-07-25
Image Number: 178672
Caption: How is it racist for the President to tell four black and brown congresswomen to go back where they came from? You libs are such hypocrites. You whined for years about the President not believing in your so-called science. Now that he's fully embraced science, all of a sudden that's racism. I have no idea what you're going on about. Evolution. Duh. He was clearly saying they should visit Africa, where we all come from. Why do you hate science?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-18 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-18 Pub. Date: 2019-07-18
Image Number: 178562
Caption: Candorville.com says we discovered tons of microbes living deep inside the earth. You know what this means? Scientists are pretty sure both Venus and Mars were habitable a long time ago. If microbes ever existed on either planet, then it's almost guaranteed they're still alive there, deep inside the earth ... I mean, deep inside the Venus. And the Mars. Hey, if we get to call dirt by our planet's name, so do those alien microbes ... and so the advocacy begins. That's your earthier privilege talking.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-27 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-27 Pub. Date: 2019-06-27
Image Number: 178258
Caption: Germany, 1933 … I'm tired of you calling the places where we house Jewish people concentration camps. That diminishes the atrocity those barbaric British in South Africa did to the Boer people in their actual concentration camps. That could never happen here. You owe the Boer people an apology. Gute nacht opa.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-26 call 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-26 Pub. Date: 2019-06-26
Image Number: 178257
Caption: As I was saying, you can't call what we have concentration camps because that diminishes what happened in the Holocaust. Never again means never again will we let people commit genocide. I always thought it meant never again will we let people even begin to do things that led to genocide ... like calling people an infestation and locking them in camps. You thought wrong.
     
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