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Candorville

Comics about business .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-27 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-27 Pub. Date: 2019-07-27
Image Number: 178674
Caption: Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-03 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-03 Pub. Date: 2019-07-03
Image Number: 178392
Caption: Other day, some grown-#$% man in a business suit rolled over my foot on one of them scooters. You always say grown people look ridiculous on those things. So what'd you do? I rented a scooter too an' chased his @!#$ down. Chased him into his office building's elevator. You sure you weren't just looking for an excuse to ride a scooter? When we got up to the 55th floor, I chased him to his office.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-02 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177793
Caption: I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-24 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-24 Pub. Date: 2019-05-24
Image Number: 177720
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a Trump Generator. You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like fantastic. I put it onling a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with Visit House of Jave Cafe. It's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong. I have no idea what you're talking aboutk. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are suprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man.!!!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-26 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-26 Pub. Date: 2019-04-26
Image Number: 177327
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some old quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. My bad can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-15 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-15 Pub. Date: 2019-04-15
Image Number: 177220
Caption: You just heard her say you're all business. Do you have anything to say about that? That depends. Do I actually have to answer for this to be tax deductible? PhD. M.A. Couple's therapy.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-07 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-07 Pub. Date: 2019-04-07
Image Number: 176834
Caption: I haven't taken a vacation in fifteen years. Wait a minute … didn't you say something about visiting Bermuda? Wasn't that just, like, a year ago? That was business. I was selling collectibles. And two years ago, didn't you say something about snorkeling off Noanoa Island? Newsweak. That was business. I was chipping off some of the last living pieced of our dying coral reefs, and selling them on the black market. If you can write it off, it's not a vacation. Didn't you just get back from Hawaii? That was business ...
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-21 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175940
Caption: Lotta Democrats runnin' for president, bruh. Kamala Harris my first choice. Cool … Why? Whachoomean why? I mean, which of her ideas do you like best? Which of her policies? I like her 'cause she tough. She don't take no mess. She handle business. That's not a policy. It is where I come from.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-18 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-18 Pub. Date: 2018-10-18
Image Number: 174494
Caption: Hey boss, grand opening's a big hit. Almost all the patrons from the old café are here, plus some new ones. What do you mean almost all the old patrons? Who's missing? I want that traitor tracked down an dealt with. Call my contact at ICE. They've got ways. They'll disguise themselves as altar boys and wait in his church ... They'll hide in the slurpee machine at his favorite 7-Eleven. they'll call and say they found his wallet and then cage him when he surfaces. ICE doesn't play around. They could probably haul him here in time for customer appreciation hour. Very bad man.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-17 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-17 Pub. Date: 2018-10-17
Image Number: 174493
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? House of Java Café. Grand Opening! That's right, minion. My sources tell me a journalist has been looking into your new café's financing. My café? What do you mean? This is your café. Well, it is now, after you sold it to me for $1. but before that, you bought this building using money funneled to you through a shell company traced back to a Russian oligarch ... That's what the paper trail will show, anyway. How could you? Should've known he would never have given me that dollar without strings attached.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-16 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-16 Pub. Date: 2018-10-16
Image Number: 174492
Caption: Rudy Park, my college roommate, sent me an evite to the grand opening of his new café. The zoning board declined to comment. So I filed a Freedom of Information Act request. Turns out the building was rezoned in the dead of night to permit a café, just hours after a huge payment from sources unknown landed in the zoning commissioner's 3-year-old son's savings account. Should I write the expose before I give Rudy a cafe-warming gift ... or after? Remind me never to send you and evite. What's the etiquette?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-10 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-10 Pub. Date: 2018-07-10
Image Number: 172713
Caption: Meanwhie, refugees from Canardville are making the most of it. Boss, I got your memo about these refugee blankets. Good. How many of them have we sold? None. We don't own them, Armstrong. WE can't sell what we don't own. Have I taught you nothing? A good businessman sells what he owns. A great businessman sells what he doesn't yet own and uses the loot to either buy it or flee to Cameroon. That doesn't sound right. Fine - Russia then.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-06 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-06 Pub. Date: 2018-07-06
Image Number: 172691
Caption: Sadie Cohen blew me off, Clyde. She never showed up. That's your problem right there. You aware of @#$%. You shoulda blew her off first. Then you wouldn't even know 'bout it. Dios mio. Everyone's starting to do business like Trump. I started a business etiquette university. Enrollment is $2.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-12 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172213
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-09 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172073
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-03 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168932
Caption: Big business co-opts everything. Will work for $$$. Will work for $$ Inc., a Concast subsidiary.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-20 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-20 Pub. Date: 2018-02-20
Image Number: 168661
Caption: Let me ask you, Mr. Dogg, are you sexually active? I ain't get no complaints. But I don't mean to brag. Plus we don't really know each other like that, so you should mind your business. What? What?
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-28 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167088
Caption: Hi, I just got a notice that I owe $30k t the city in past freelance taxes. That's right. Because you didn't file as a business between 2007 and 2013. I wasn't a business. I was a reporter for a newspaper. They paid you with a 1099 instead of W-2. That makes you a business. They paid me with a 1099 so they could get away with not giving me benefits, and so they wouldn't have to give me paid time off! That doesn't mean I was running a business! Yes it does. I see you earned less than $100k per year. You wouldn't owe us anything if you filed for an exemption during the years you owed those taxes. You never told me this tax even existed! I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 for a tax I didn't owe just because you never told me I didn't owe it! You're right, sir. If you include the penalties, you're actually gonna pay us $38,000. You're going to make me become a Republican! You know that, right?! There's no special exemption for Republicans.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-14 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-14 Pub. Date: 2018-01-14
Image Number: 166587
Caption: I was walking along the sidewalk minding my own business … Dr Noodle … when a cop stopped me and ticketed me for walking without a driver's license. Then he took me to jail and held me there for seven hours. May lawyer found out he's done this before, almost always to black pedestrians. I tried really hard to understand why he does that. I thought "maybe he's just incompetent. Maybe he's emasculated at home so he overcompensates at work. Maybe he was trained to do this and so it's not his fault. Maybe the Mandela Effect is real and he came from an alternate universe where walking without a driver's license actually is illegal. People often go to great lengths to avoid noticing this particular elephant in the room. I'm told it's awfully rude to accuse people who do racist things of being racist.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-13 business 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 167094
Caption: I had a dream. I dreamt that in 2020, "The Rock" runs for president as an independent. The Republicans nominate Trump again. Democrats are so overconfident that they nominate the corpse of Woodrow Wilson. And while we're all distracted, Congress quietly eliminates elections altogether and they appoint an immortal A.I. as the chairman and CEO of the American Corporate Empire, LLC. I think I like Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech better. I'd tell you the rest, but you might as well just watch "The Matrix."
     
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