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Candorville

Comics about browns and browning.

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201. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-11 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-11 Pub. Date: 2009-12-11
Image Number: 41703
Caption: Thank y'all for comin' out. My book "Katrina's Ghost" is about a young wizard, a magical war, and puberty. … Or some other @#$%. Any questions? Yeah, I've got a question: Are you really Lemont Brown? Or are you C-Dog, the punk-@%$ who did my baby sister wrong? No questions? All right, see y'all later. Tell me what you wrote on page 47, "Lemont."
     
202. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-10 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-10 Pub. Date: 2009-12-10
Image Number: 41702
Caption: Four years ago, our illustrious guest went on a journey to interview survivors of Hurricane Katrina. He found these American refugees corralled in a run-down jail. His perceptive and brilliant new book, "Katrina's Ghost," brings us their stories. Their stories were shocking. Their stories were awe-inspiring. Their stories changed America. Mr. Brown, we are honored to have you here. Hear what, @#$%?
     
203. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-09 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-09 Pub. Date: 2009-12-09
Image Number: 41701
Caption: C-Dog impersonates Lemont on Lemont's book tour. @#$% my book. Let's talk about ME. Maybe I AM a sellout. Maybe I DO talk white. Maybe I DO ignore the continuing oppression of my own people while I'm blogging about Presidents an' health care an' other @#$% nobody care about Is there a "but" coming? Maybe I DO fail to loan my best friend C-Dog $2 on occasion ...
     
204. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-08 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-08 Pub. Date: 2009-12-08
Image Number: 41700
Caption: We're back with Lemont Brown, award-winning reporter for the Candorville Chronicle. Before we get back to talking about your new book, I just want to remind you I'm a screeching windbag hate-radio host … … who'll ask what you think about people choosing hate radio and the web over your elitist, dying newspaper industry ... Good to meet you. ... and then I'll taunt you with my latest ratings.
     
205. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-07 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-07 Pub. Date: 2009-12-07
Image Number: 41699
Caption: Our guest today is Lemont Brown, author of the book "Katrina's Ghost." Why don't you tell us about yourself, Lemont? Golly! Of course, Sadie! First of all … I really AM that nerd Lemont Brown. I am NOT his friend C-Dog, impersonating him on his book tour in order to hide from the big-muscle brother of a chick I've horribly, horribly wronged. We'll be right back. I was born at an early age ...
     
206. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-01 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-01 Pub. Date: 2009-12-01
Image Number: 41430
Caption: "I don't know how you tracked me down, Senor Lemont, but it's true: I am 'El Chacal,' leader of the most barbaric Mexican drug cartel. There is no mystery, here, little journalist. All the carnage and disappearances in La Ciudad Juarez are part of our drug war. I would like to thank our sponsors: the greed of local officials whose pockets we line, and the misguided American 'War on Drugs' that makes our product so incredibly valuable." He really said all that? Either that or "Prepare to die, dog-man." Worst translator, ever.
     
207. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-24 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-24 Pub. Date: 2009-11-24
Image Number: 41221
Caption: Beep. Lemont Brown, this is your long-lost father calling. You probably don't want to talk to me after all these years, but you only have one Father. Once I'm gone. I'm gone. If you want to find out whether I'm proud of you, call 1 (800) 555-SCAM.
     
208. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-20 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-20 Pub. Date: 2009-11-20
Image Number: 40989
Caption: Lemont Brown? Your editor sent me to take you on tour to promote your new book, "Katrina's Ghost." Nah, I'm C-Dog. I'm hidin' in Lemont's crib from some big-muscle brotha. I did his sister wrong. An' now he wanna kill me. You know how is, playa. HEY!!! ARE YOU C-DOG?!!! Golly. No! I'm Lemont Brown! I'd love to chat. But I'm on my way to a book tour. Oprah's waiting, Mr. Brown.
     
209. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-19 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-19 Pub. Date: 2009-11-19
Image Number: 40988
Caption: Golly gee! Lemont Brown, here! You sure you ain't C-Dog? Boy howdy, of course not! 'cause I’m here at C-Dog's house to bust his head for making my sister miserable, but he fled like a little punk. Your number's on his speed-dial, "Lemont." Well gosh, I don't know where C-Dog went. He certainly isn't hiding in my house while I'm away, pretending to be me. What? Nanoo nanoo, live long and prosper and other nerdy @#$%. Gotta go. Goodbye. Click.
     
210. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-14 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-14 Pub. Date: 2009-11-14
Image Number: 40744
Caption: Dear whoever you are, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown … … Which is odd, because pretty much everyone my age only uses cell phones. Most of us don't even have home phones in the first place. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you in the year 1998. Beep.
     
211. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-30 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-30 Pub. Date: 2009-10-30
Image Number: 40268
Caption: Hi, I'm David. I will be your kidnapper today. I'm Lemont Brown, a journalist. Nice to meet you. I'm at the forefront of Mexico's burgeoning "Kidnapping American Professionals" industry. Thriving U.S. companies pay me a lot of money to release their workers. Where should I send your ransom note? CNN? NBC? Well, I work for a newspaper. It's ... That was nice of them to give us 50 pesos. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
     
212. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-20 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-20 Pub. Date: 2009-10-20
Image Number: 39857
Caption: Doctor! Lemont, our hour's up. Did you have more you needed to say? Do you own an '09 Ferrari? Fascinating. How does my life of luxury make you FEEL? Inferior? Cut it out, Doc: I just saw some thug bust the window, wire it and drive off. THEY STOLE YOUR CAR! How does that make you FEEL, Doctor?
     
213. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-11 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-11 Pub. Date: 2009-10-11
Image Number: 39258
Caption: Who is it? This is a wake-up call for Lemont Brown. I donm mumble. You've got to stop using your cell phone in the bathroom. Pardonm I domble … If you keep doing it, at least get acquainted with your "mute" button. Just cupping your hand over your phone's microphone doesn't always work. Huh? Anyway, think of it this way ... If you get an urgent call while you're in the John, what the heck can you DO about it? Zzzzz. You'd have to wait till "flush" you're out anyway, right?
     
214. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-26 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-26 Pub. Date: 2009-09-26
Image Number: 38663
Caption: Hello creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. You've called me more than three times this month inquiring about my late payment and / or informing me of strange new fees I have to pay you. As I wrote in tiny print on my last check, I will now charge you a calling fee of $3.00. Please pay by the 15th to avoid incurring a late fee. Goodbye.
     
215. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-16 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-16 Pub. Date: 2009-09-16
Image Number: 38470
Caption: Just read your new column: "What Chucho's Hauling Van Tells us about Health Care Reform." What an unorthodox metaphor. Sometimes, Brown, I marvel at how a man's brain can make the connections yours makes. Um … thanks? Sir? Yes? Was that praise or an insult? I hope someday you'll donate your synapses to science.
     
216. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-23 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-23 Pub. Date: 2009-08-23
Image Number: 37718
Caption: Um, Lemont, this is Momma. I'm a little confused by your outgoing message. Please call me back, baby. Outgoing message. Beep. Hi Momma! Golly gee, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown! I need your help. Please send over a care package with mustard, ten pounds of Cap'n Crunch, and a new crowbar. Also, a six-pack of ski masks from Costco and an Identity Theft for Dummies book from Amazon. Oh, and a Clay Aiken CD or Battlestar Voyager DVD or some other nerdy #$%& would be just swell! Now momma, dagnabbit, I got a rat problem. So it would be prudent to send it to Clyde. Golly gee willikers! Thanks, Momma. What?
     
217. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-26 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-26 Pub. Date: 2009-07-26
Image Number: 36433
Caption: You're right, Mr. Brown. We sent you a misleading ad suggesting that if you'd consolidate all your debt onto our card, that would help lead to good credit. Then when your other creditors saw the large balance you put on our card, they thought you were a credit risk and lowered your credit limits. ... And since that was OUR FAULT, it's wrong for us to lower your credit limit just because other creditors lowered their limits. One second .. Ok, I've restored your high credit limit. Please accept our apologies. Wow, I didn't expect y-- Hey, Big L ... Here's all the money you ever loaned me since we was kids. With interest. NOOOOOOO!!!!
     
218. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-23 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-23 Pub. Date: 2009-07-23
Image Number: 36430
Caption: I think we're on our own, Lemont. We need to escape this Iranian dungeon. Ever seen Shawshank Redemption? Remember when Morgan Freeman tunneled his way out of jail with a spoon? Well in my pocket, I have a .. Tim Robbins. ?Que? No, I'm pretty sure it was Freeman. You're gonna tell me it was Freeman? I own the DVD, Lalo. It's Tim Robbins. !Callate, idiota! That's not the poin- He's right, IMDB says it's Tim Robbins.
     
219. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-20 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-20 Pub. Date: 2009-07-20
Image Number: 36427
Caption: I know what's bothering you, girl. You're worried about Lemont being held captive by the Iranian Secret Police. Whimper?! You're thinking you spent your whole life not saying what needed to be said, watching him go from one failed relationship to another with awful women who aren't good enough for him. Growl! ... And now it's too late to convince him he deserves to date someone who's not mean, heartless, and nasty. Snaarlll. ... Or maybe you're hungry, is what you're saying.
     
220. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-07-19 brown 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-07-19 Pub. Date: 2009-07-19
Image Number: 36195
Caption: Vrooom! Screeee! Safe!
     
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