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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-09 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-09 Pub. Date: 2019-06-09
Image Number: 178019
Caption: The year 2039. Beeeep … Beeeep … Beeeep … This is an alert from the emergency broadcast system. This is not a frill. An oxygen dead zone has been detected in your area. Remain indoors, seal all vents, and activate your dwelling's oxygen tank. If you are outdoors without a personal supply of oxygen, proceed to the nearest shelter. If you are at a shelter but have no oxygen insurance, immediately exit the shelter and hold your breath as long as possible. State Tv now returns you to your program, already in progress ... six of the candidates applying to the Chamber of Commerce to be overseer of North America favor an Oxygen for All system. Thanks because they're socialists. Click.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-16 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-16 Pub. Date: 2019-03-16
Image Number: 176729
Caption: Did you see Trump's speech at CPAC last week? Nah, bruh. You catch the Cornel West vs. Diamond and Silk debate on reparations? Where was that? Youtube? Cable news? Twitch? Facebook? Instagram? Periscope? Vimeo? Streamshark? Ustream? Netflix? Broadcast tv. Oh. No, I'm still trying to figure out how to stream that.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-02 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-02 Pub. Date: 2018-09-02
Image Number: 173653
Caption: I read your latest article about the Fermi Paradox. It's the likeliest explanation … We've only been transmitting radio signals for about 100 years, Susan. And since radio waves travel at the speed of light, our radio bubble's only about 200 light years across. Our radio waves have only reaches 15,000 or so stars out of 400 billion. It'll be tends of thousands of years before most of the galaxy ever sees I Love Lucy. There could be 399,999,985,000 stars out there with civilizations broadcasting I Love Splorg or something, and we won't even notice it until the year 201818 ... and if most aliens skipped radio and went straight to internet, we may never, ever know they exist. Is that why your headline was We'll Never See a Splorg Get Trolled on Facesplorg?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-09 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 155971
Caption: Donald Trump is cutting all funding for NPR, the National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, the Institute of Museum and Library Services, and more. What? They goin' after Big Bird? What Big Bird do to him? I didn't know Trump was mad at 'im. I ain't seen no tweet about it or nothin'. Big Bird'll be fine. HBO owns Big Bird now. Say what? I don't know if I could watch Big Bird on HBO. Last thing I need to see is Big Bird naked, or Big Bird choppin' off people arms an' whatnot. That's not the point. The point is, he's stripping funding from the Smithsonian and other icons of our culture, but buying more bombs we don't need. I don't need to see Big Bird slingin' smack for the mafia. It's not always about Big Bird.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-02 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-02 Pub. Date: 2016-12-02
Image Number: 151554
Caption: What're you doing? Just setting up. Dr. Noodle. I'm livecasting a reaction video to my therapy. It's streaming on Facebook Live and Youtube right now. Well? What're you waiting for? I think I can dispense with asking "Why have you come to therapy." Make sure you skip all the boring questions, I don't want to lose viewers.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-25 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-25 Pub. Date: 2015-12-25
Image Number: 136832
Caption: I was having a great Christmas until I turned on the "Ask Sadie Radio Hour." What happened? She went 4.3 minutes before she even mentioned Christmas. The nerve! This war on Christmas is getting totally out of control. So I called in and I told her off. I said she and the rest of the godless, Christmas-hating media should stick their disrespect where the sun don't shine. I said "What part of 'peace on earth, good will toward man' don't you understand, you @#$%&!"? Wait, isn't the "Ask Sadie" show's intro about 4 minutes long?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on … Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-06 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-06 Pub. Date: 2009-09-06
Image Number: 38003
Caption: VH1 presents Where are They Now? The Some People Story. It was the mid-2000's. Politicians across the country relied on him. There wasn't a press conference around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. I sound wise compared to him. And for one brief fearmongering season, the strawman called "some people" was at the top of his game. I've forgotten 9-11. I want to hug terrorists. But as often happens in the cutthroat false argument business, his star began to dim. I want to take your guns. Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. He came into the bar already drunk, talkin' 'bout nobody's scared of him no more and no one takes 'im seriously. Bartender. ... an' I was like "bruh, you're bringin' down the whole room." Very bad tipper, too. But then, in his darkest hour, some people makes a surprising comeback. AFTER THESE MESSAGES...
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-18 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-18 Pub. Date: 2009-02-18
Image Number: 30202
Caption: Lemont Brown, of NBC News. Rise and ask thy question, child. Actually, I'm not with NBC. I work for a newspaper. You poor wretch. Here's 25 shekels, buy thyself a hot meal of grains and figs. That's not funny, Mr. Burning Bush. I've been waiting all morning to do that.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-16 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-16 Pub. Date: 2008-11-16
Image Number: 28016
Caption: VH1 presents: Where are they now? The Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter Story. The time was October, 2008. Journalists across the country yearned for him. There wasn't a television show around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. And for one brief electoral season, Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter was at the top of his game. Mainstream media. Which one is Obama again? But as sometimes happens in the dog-eat-dog ignoramus industry, his star dimmed like a light bulb over a moron's head. Guess who I voted for? Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. Anonymous Friend. After the election, he started hangin' around the wrong crowd. People who read an' pay attention. He started recognizin' the difference between such things as ketchup an' mustard. I was shocked, an' I was like "What the @#$% did you do with the real Ozzy? Next up, Ozzy hits rock bottom...
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-23 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-23 Pub. Date: 2008-09-23
Image Number: 26923
Caption: John McCain's office. If you're calling to ask why we ran an ad saying Obama wanted to teach kindergarteners about sex… …when he really sought to protect them from sexual predators… Press "one". Boop. John McCain had to face much worse things than lies when he was a captive in a stinking rat hole in Vietnam! Oh, for the love of...
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-22 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-22 Pub. Date: 2008-09-22
Image Number: 26922
Caption: I'm about to tell you that Barack Obama wanted to teach "comprehensive sex education" to KINDERGARTENERS… …even though the legislation I'm referring to was really about teaching kids to protect themselves from predators. But I think winning an election is more important than protecting kids. I'm John McCain, and I approved this garbage. "Sir, we mistakenly aired the dry run" better be code for "everything's peachy," or someone's getting fired.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-20 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-20 Pub. Date: 2008-09-20
Image Number: 26783
Caption: What do you mean I can't fire Dick Fink? He patched my private phone conversation into the office intercom! Now everyone knows all my intimate stuff! Yes… But on the other hand, it was very, very funny. I… I'm speechless. That's odd, I thought I just heard you say something.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-19 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-19 Pub. Date: 2008-09-19
Image Number: 26782
Caption: Y'know, you really shouldn't use "Dr. Sasquatch's depilatory for extremely hair chicks. Wait a minute… How did everyone in the office know exactly what you and I'd been talking about on the phone? When you asked me to connect you with Lemont Brown, I may have accidentally patched your call into the office intercom. Dios mio... Dick Fink, I oughta... AAAARGH! I may have also accidentally uploaded it to youtube.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-09 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-09 Pub. Date: 2007-07-09
Image Number: 17864
Caption: Hello, you've reached CNN. Finally! Lemont Brown, Candorville Courier. I want to ask why Larry King canceled Michael Moore's discussion of our healthcare system in order to talk to Paris Hilton. I've been on hold for a whole week, by the way. Oh my, let me find out why that happened. Hold, please. @#$%!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-04 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-05 Pub. Date: 2007-02-04
Image Number: 16012
Caption: Gregs-list.org. Jobs: TV_video/find talent. Opera Singer for commercial jingle. Search. Experienced opera singer available for freelance work. 25 years of broadcast, national, international, regional and local work experience. Multiple awards, including six Emmys, nine Clios, and an Academy Award-nominated theme song from "Time Bandits 3." Clients include Spielberg, Lucas, Almodovar, Whedon, Moore, Straczynski, Eastwood, Hitchcock, Lasseter, etc. Lost all reels, pay stubs in a fire and have no documentation. However, just speaking with me you will know I have the pipes. Oh, and sometimes my past clients pretend they've never even heard of me. It's a little game we play.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-16 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-17 Pub. Date: 2006-10-16
Image Number: 14977
Caption: 2001. Congress passed the so-called "Patriot Act" today even though many of them hadn't even read it. ZZZZZ. 2005. Today's top story: Congressman caught selling their votes to the highest bidder! ZZZZZ. 2006. Congress lets the President torture people and weakens habeas corpus, the most important legal principle of the last millennium. ZZZZZ. 2006. Sex! Sex! Sex! Congressman SEXually harasses kids with SEX-filled e-mails about SEX! Munch munch munch.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-13 broadcast 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-13 Pub. Date: 2006-08-13
Image Number: 14364
Caption: President Bush, most Americans favor embryonic stem cell research. Americans say these embryos will be thrown away anyway… Why not use them to find cures for horrible diseases? Why let the embryos perish in vain when they can save millions of lives? Well, don't ask me, Bob. Just ask the embryos. I have a couple here with me, let 'em talk for themselves. Golly, Bob, I'm a person too. I have dreams. I want to be a ballerina. Me too, Bob. I wanna be a professional wrestler. Sure, we're gonna be thrown away. But who's to say the garbage lady won't trip, and I'll end up implanted in her uterus, where I'll grow up and become a pretty dancer who wears tutus? I can see your lips moving, Mr. Bush. I like to dance. And I like to wrassle!
     
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