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Candorville

Comics about banks and banking.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-01 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-01 Pub. Date: 2019-06-01
Image Number: 177798
Caption: There gonna be a whole generation of elbow arthritis. We evolved to be hunters an' gatherers, bruh. Not to hold phones and iPads right up to our faces. You gotta outstretch your arms once in a while, Big L … because that way it's easier for you to see my passwords? Would you rather secure your bank account? Or would you rather end up like this here?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-18 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 167988
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-07 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166341
Caption: I saw that article you wrote about net neutrality being killed. What a bunch of whiny, panicky snowflakery. You wrote "get ready to pay extra to stream your favorite shows and make internet calls." Yeah. Before net neutrality, AT&T throttled Skye and didn't stop until pressured by the FCC and consumers. You scared? You wrote "get ready to pay a fee to connect your smart home to the internet." That's right ... Without net neutrality, there are no rules to prevent your ISP from charging you whatever fees they want. Maybe you need a safe space where the big bad ISP can't get to your piggy bank. You know, you're kind of rude. Oh, you're going to get personal now? You've clearly lost the debate if you have to resort to personal attacks. What the -- you got personal. I was just ... (sigh) ... oh, forget it. Don't get upset. I just won the Gaslighting Association's Internet-Arguing World Championship. I'm just celebrating.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-11 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-11 Pub. Date: 2017-12-11
Image Number: 166001
Caption: Have you ever been to thetruesize.com? No. What's that? The maps we all use distort the sizes of the countries. The sizes are way off. That site lets you drag countries around to see how big they really are. Turns out Japan's as big as the entire east coast of the U.S. Brazil is almost as big as the United States. All of Africa is bigger than the U.S., India, Western Europe, Argentina and China combined. Same principle works for money. If you drag my seemingly tiny bank account around the globe, I'm actually super rich. Dios mio.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-12 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164249
Caption: I can't believe youtube demonetized me, bruh. All my videos used to make bank, Big L. But just this morning, right after I uploaded my new track "Take a Knee," Youtube cut all the ads off almost all my videos. Well, some big advertisers pulled out of Youtube after it turned out major ads were running on four or five white supremacists' hate-videos. So the Youtube started demonetizing anything their algorithms thin is the least bit controversial. I know, bruh. That's why I renamed all my songs. "Slav'ry Bones" now be called "Involuntary Guest-Worker Bones." "Section 8 Blues" now called "Affordable Housing Lullabies." I don't know, Clyde. I heard once Youtube starts turning off a channel's ads, nothing will change their mind. "@#$% then Neo-Nazis" now called "Cuddle Kittens and Rainbow Bunnies."
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-03 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-03 Pub. Date: 2017-08-03
Image Number: 161033
Caption: Big L, your checkin' account be overdrawn. Really? Thanks for … wait, how do you know I'm overdrawn? You might wanna warn a brotha next time. That !@#$ was embarrassin'. I had to put back all my groceries. I knew a decoy account was a good idea.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-02 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146689
Caption: What do you mean you "had no choice"? I checked my bank account this morning. Newspapers, coffee, lunch, bus fare, diapers, day care, movie tickets, clothes … It all adds up. It's like every day I leave the building, $50 vanishes from my wallet. Locking yourself on the roof all day is not the answer. I'm cold, hungry and my son's kinda stinky.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-05 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-05 Pub. Date: 2016-05-05
Image Number: 142721
Caption: I'm sorry my check bounced last week, doc. That was because some Nigerian scammers stole my bank account. Dr. Noodle. I see. And how did that make you feel? Angry, I guess. Angry at them? Or angry at yourself for letting your gullibility impact not only your life, but the lives of people to whom you owe money? I thought these sessions were supposed to be about MY feelings. They are. Let's explore how inconveniencing your therapist makes you feel.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-19 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-19 Pub. Date: 2016-04-19
Image Number: 142113
Caption: What's wrong? I'm ruined. When the Pulitzer board called yesterday to tell me I'd won this year's Pulitzer Prize for snarky criticism, Clyde answered, accused them of running a scam, and hung up. I cussed Clyde out. I called them back at the number they called me from, and apologized profusely. They asked me a bunch of questions to prove I was really me. So you got your Pulitzer Prize?! I got my bank account stolen by someone in Nigeria!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-29 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135319
Caption: Wells Fraggo fraud department, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? I just checked my bank account, and it's overdrawn because of several $99.95 charges at zoosk.com. I want to know how this happened, Ryan. … Ok, I just did a Google search. That appears to be an online dating site. ... Also, it seems a lot of other people have complained about this same thing happening to them. It probably happened because someone is stealing ATM card numbers and using them to sign up for accounts. Calling ... Wells Fraggo Fraud Dept. (favorited). No, I mean how come you didn't think there was anything fishy about fifteen $99.95 charges from the same dating site?! Why on earth did you let those payments go through?! We figured you were just really, really desperate.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-26 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-26 Pub. Date: 2015-08-26
Image Number: 131715
Caption: Can I use your computer when you done, Big L. No, Clyde. With just a few clicks, you'd have access to my journal, my bank account, my photos and my browser history. Or you could download a virus or do something illegal and I'd get blamed for it. When have I ever done anything like that today? Forget it.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-04 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-04 Pub. Date: 2015-03-04
Image Number: 123664
Caption: I don’t believe in past lives. But I have memories of things I couldn’t possibly have done. One of my most vivid memories is of sitting along the banks of the Nile River, begging for alms from passing sheep herders. Hmmm … One of MY most vivid memories is of being a wealthy sheep herder, and having all my sheep kick up mud onto a beggar. Just because I thought it'd be funny. Coincidence, I'm sure. But that may explain why I've never like being covered in mud. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-20).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-31 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-31 Pub. Date: 2014-05-31
Image Number: 111794
Caption: Hey, sir. Can you get me a beer? I've got money. Bank. How old are you? 36. I don’t think so. I'm a 36-year-old egg.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-31 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-31 Pub. Date: 2014-01-31
Image Number: 106770
Caption: I feel sorry for the middle name. What? You've got your last name, which is the revered and responsible eldest child. Then you've got your first name, which is quirky and full of personality. But no one remembers the middle name exists until it plummets into an orgy of self-hatred and robs a bank. You had me ... and then lost me.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-24 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-24 Pub. Date: 2013-11-24
Image Number: 103804
Caption: Wells Fraggo Fraud Department. Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? I just checked my bank account, and it's overdrawn because of several $99.95 charges at Zoosk.com. I want to know how this happened, Ryan. … Okay, I just did a Google search. That appears to be an online dating site. ... Also, it seems a lot of other people have complained about this same thing happening to them. It probably happened because someone is stealing ATM card number and using them to sign up for accounts. Calling .. Wells Fraggo Fraud Dept. (favorited). No, I meant how come you didn't think there was anything fishy about fifteen $99.95 charges from the same dating site?! Why on earth did you let those payments go through? We figured you were just really, really desperate.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-06 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-06 Pub. Date: 2013-10-06
Image Number: 101948
Caption: Hello, you've reached Wells Fraggo Bank. Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you today? I have a question. I need to transfer money from my savings to my checking … … But when I try, it tells me I've exceeded the maximum number of online transfers for the month. You guys never told me there was any maximum number of online transfers. It says if I transfer money, I may or may not be hit with an excess transaction fee. But it doesn't tell me what that fee is. So my question is: what else are you guys not telling me? I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I was busy processing your excess phone call fee.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-21 bank 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-21 Pub. Date: 2013-08-21
Image Number: 100553
Caption: Can I use your computer when you done, Big L? No, Clyde. Thug 4 Life. With just a few clicks, you'd have access to my journal, my bank account, my photos and my browser history. Or you could download a virus or do something illegal and I'd get blamed for it. When have I ever don anything like that today? Forget it.
     
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