Boss, I told The Fixer you were firing him. Go back and tell him that was fake news. I may have use for him after all, if the press ever finds out about the nondisclosure agreement I forced Garfield to sign. Um … ok … that's enough … The Fixer paid him the hush money, and that gives me plausible deniability. I don't want to hear it!!! Very bad man!!! It was lasagna-related. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Boss? I got a memo saying you want me to stop looking t so many Sirius Disclosure videos on Youtube. The past few days, you and your online girlfriend have been frequenting those videos and the associated Facebook group. Has it occurred to you that if we really do have contact with aliens ... if there really are twelve races, including reptilians who sign your payche - I mean, who control everything - that there's a reason they're keeping all this a secret? Very. Bad. Man. I've compiled a playlist of cat videos you're free to watch.