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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-08 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-08 Pub. Date: 2019-10-08
Image Number: 179805
Caption: Why does your site have a Breaking News report about something that happened a long time ago? Because our country has the attention span of a housefly, Susan. We ignore anything that isn't Breaking News. So … did you like my coverage of James Madison proposing the electoral college and the 315ths compromise as a way to make this United States thing acceptable to the slave states? Dios mio.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-29 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-29 Pub. Date: 2019-08-29
Image Number: 179194
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-25 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-25 Pub. Date: 2019-08-25
Image Number: 179092
Caption: How was your day, Lemont? Horrible. I gave a speech to a high school assembly about the importance of journalism. Halfway through, I realized almost nobody was paying attention. They were all staring at their laps. Turns out most of them were on their phones. Square drones, yeah ... weird/ Seriously? Were you on your phone just now? Of course not. I don't know what you mean by Were you on your phone just now. How about a web search for it?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-31 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-31 Pub. Date: 2019-03-31
Image Number: 176810
Caption: House of Java Café. Grand Opening! What are you so happy about? What? Oh … I was just remembering my carefree, swinging bachelor days … and how I'm so glad they're long gone, sweetie-pudding. Attention! Berating session will not commence! Please, no! I'm thrilled to be stuck with you, I swear!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-22 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-22 Pub. Date: 2019-02-22
Image Number: 176395
Caption: I did some research, and I'm not sure George Bernard Shaw ever really said that quote I attributed to him. Yeh … You is a journalist, bruh. What do you mean, Clyde? You got it wrong on Tuesday, an' you just barely correctin' it now, on Friday when nobody payin' attention. Y'know ... Most people who aren't journalists never correct themselves at all. You sure that's accurate?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-28 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-28 Pub. Date: 2018-07-28
Image Number: 173092
Caption: Garcia, it's come to my attention that you earn substantially less than your male colleagues, even though you do better work. That is totally unacceptable. I've discussed it with the partners, and we'd like to offer you a raise. CEO of the Year 2002. From now on, you'll be earning only slightly less than your male colleagues. I'm only slightly less disgusted. She's accepted. Draw up the paperwork.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-09 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-09 Pub. Date: 2018-07-09
Image Number: 172715
Caption: After the township of Canardville collapsed into a giant sinkhole, the Mayor of neighboring Candorville jailed the refugees in an internment camp. I can't believe it. We're not trending. No hashtags, no protests, no mentions on Youtube. NOTHING. Of course not. Don't you see, Rudy? They put babies in concentration camps. BABIES. People were outraged - for about three weeks. I've seen this sort of desensitization before. A country that gets over having baby-jails can tolerate just about anything. How do we know those babies were innocent?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-05 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-05 Pub. Date: 2018-03-05
Image Number: 169163
Caption: What Donald Trump up to now, dawg? That fool crazy. I don't know what Donald Trump's up to, Clyde. I refuse to keep paying him any attention. I don't slow down to watch accidents on the freeway, I don't watch reality shows, and I don't think about Trump. I'm above all that. If he said at 10:04 this morning he'd wanna ban all Muslim immigrants, I bet you'd know about it by 10:05. He already ... um ... never mind.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-26 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168927
Caption: Did you know that while nobody was paying any attention, evil neo Nazis have overrun Ukraine? And our military industrial complex is sending them weapons? Wait ... what? But it's ok, because when they become a big enough threat, our military industrial complex will also get to send weapons to their enemies. So it'll all even out. Sarcasm Monday strikes again. It's nice to see our defense contractors finally making a profit.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-20 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-20 Pub. Date: 2017-08-20
Image Number: 161117
Caption: Get outta here I'm busy! Got outta here I'm busy! Open Mike Night Presents Kids 3-5. Watch what you want! Watch what you want! Got my glock, an' my dollars, got my glock and' my dollars! A got seven baby mamas, I got seven baby mamas! All them (censored) on my (censored). All them (censored) on my (censored). Okay, thank you! Lots of talent here tonight, so let's keep it moving. And parents, pay attention to what your three-year-olds are watching. Okay, who's next?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-28 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-28 Pub. Date: 2016-12-28
Image Number: 152626
Caption: … so they took me off the Trump account. I'm going to take matters into my own hands; I'm going to Trump Tower next week. I said I'm meeting with Donald Trump next week. Aliens. Star Trek. Green Lantern. Are you even listening?! How much do you think apartments go for in Canada?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-27 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146472
Caption: Lionel was reading "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." You know everyone on earth takes that line out of context? Frost is actually expressing regret there. He's torn about it. Just like everyone else, Lionel wrongly though Frost was expressing pride. Nobody ever pays attention to the context of anything anymore. Wait ... your two-year-old is reading Robert Frost?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-07 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145505
Caption: Garcia, it's come to my attention that you earn substantially less than your male colleagues, even though you do better work. That is totally unacceptable. I've discussed it with the partners, and we'd like to offer you a raise. CEO of the Year 2002. From now on, you'll be earning only slightly less than your male colleagues. I'm only slightly less disgusted. She's accepted. Draw up the paperwork.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-02 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-02 Pub. Date: 2016-04-02
Image Number: 141138
Caption: Lemont? If you could wish for just one thing and it'd come true, what would it be? And don't say "an unlimited number of wishes." That’s cheating. I'd wish for an unlimited number of wishes. How about you? I'd wish that men actually listened. It looks good on you. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-11-09).
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-26 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139564
Caption: I need to find myself a woman, Big L. What about your girlfriend, Clyde? My what? Your girlfriend, Imani. She's with you like all the time. She's sitting right there. Sometimes it's like you don’t even know I exist. AAAH! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-07).
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-15 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-15 Pub. Date: 2015-12-15
Image Number: 136531
Caption: I think people just talk too much about Donald Trump. Maybe if we all just ignore him, he'll go away. I know what you mean, Susan. I've had this lump on my (censored) for about three years now. At first I was worried about it, and it seemed to get bigger and bigger. But a few months ago I started ignoring it, and now I have no idea whether it's even still there. Dios mio, Lemont ... you should really go get that checked. No way! If I don't know about it, it can't hurt me.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-14 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-14 Pub. Date: 2015-12-14
Image Number: 136530
Caption: What Donald Trump up to now, Dawg? That fool crazy. I don't know what Donald Trump's up to, Clyde. I refuse to keep paying him any attention. I don't slow down to watch accidents on the freeway, I don't watch reality shows, and I don't think about Trump. I'm above all that. If he said at 10:04 this morning he'd wanna ban all Muslim immigrants, I bet you'd know about it by 10:05. He already ... um ... never mind.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-21 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-21 Pub. Date: 2015-11-21
Image Number: 135318
Caption: Hello, presidential candidate. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown prior to January, 2016. I can't come to the phone right now because the election is a whole year away. And I can only wade through self-serving, misleading ads for about nine months before I start to just tune it all out and say forget all of you. At the sound of the beep, please hang up and call back in February. Beep. Click!
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-19 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-19 Pub. Date: 2015-11-19
Image Number: 135316
Caption: You know we're still almost a whole year away from the presidential election, Clyde? A whole year full of vicious character attacks, outright lies, shameless pandering, and vacuous media analyses. But on the bright side, a whole year to persuade people it's important to pay attention to it all. Know what I mean, Clyde? ... Clyde?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-03 attention 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-03 Pub. Date: 2015-09-03
Image Number: 131901
Caption: I feel like when I was a kid, there was a lot more life out there. More butterflies. More lizards. More roly-poly bugs. Yeah. Same here. I always thought that was because the older I get, the less attention I pay to stuff like that. But then I read that we've finally gone ahead and caused the world's sixth great extinction event. Species are dying off 10,000 times faster than normal now. That's great news! It means the vanishing of butterflies isn't just me being self-absorbed.
     
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