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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2014-05-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-05-13 |
Image Number: |
111230 |
Caption: |
Erebody outraged that the Clippers owner told his girl not to hang out with black people like Magic Johnson. But where was "erebody" when that same dude was disrespecting minorities in his apartment building for 30 years? Disrespect average people? No problem. But disrespect pro athletes? You over. So you didn't legally change your name to "Magic Johnson" for identity theft purposes? How dare you impugn Magic Johnson motives. |
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2. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2010-08-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-08-15 |
Image Number: |
50724 |
Caption: |
Does it bother you that nobody trusts you, Clyde? It don't bother me, Big L. I don't think I wanna be trusted, no how, look at BP. Huh? The people thought BP was competent, right? Right. The people TRUSTED BP, right? Right. Well … look what happened. One huge oil spill that killed the whole Gulf of Mexico, and the people TURNED on BP! What the ... Look, I just want you to give me back my wallet. An' look at Tiger Woods ... |
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3. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-18 |
Image Number: |
41949 |
Caption: |
… So I'm sick and tired of all this talk about Tiger Woods! He's just a guy who can hit a ball with a stick! He has no impact on my life or yours! For the love of God, somebody explain to me why the media thinks I care that Tiger Woods has a couple chicks on the side! Um ... actually, what I asked was, "Are you aware your best friend, Lemont is missing and no one's seen him for weeks?" And I thought the alleged mistress count was up to eight. Nine. ... What? |
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4. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-17 |
Image Number: |
41948 |
Caption: |
At the ad agency … I don't need you anyway … … My CD of Tiger Woods jokes practically markets itself! Listen … Nike won't drop Tiger Woods even after learning about all his hot, steamy extramarital affairs. That ain't surprising. After all … It's not like this is Nike's first experience with sweatshops! OUT. Too political? |
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5. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-16 |
Image Number: |
41947 |
Caption: |
Today, at the ad agency. I'm sorry, Mr. Gold, we don't create ad campaigns for free. You misunderstand! I'm offering you something far more valuable than any "fee." I'm offering you a 10% back-end royalty! When I sell just the first 10 million "jokes about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife" CDs, you'll rake in a cool $50K, easy. Out. But it's a gold mine! |
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6. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-12-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-12-14 |
Image Number: |
41945 |
Caption: |
Hello, you've reached the home of Susan Garcia. You know what to do. Beep. Hi Susan, it's Tiger. Listen, my wife found your number on my cell and she … uh … might be calling you. And the girl who claims to be my mistress found your number too. And the other girl. And the other one. Number four didn't find your number, but she found your picture and might be out looking for you. Number five found your number. Number six may have ... beep. Time allotted for message has been exceeded. |
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7. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2009-05-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-05-22 |
Image Number: |
33644 |
Caption: |
Clyde got a degree in biochemical analysis? I don't want to talk about it. Isn't that where scientists help athletes come up with the most efficient golf swing, batting stance, and so on? …So if you angle your elbow to 160 degrees, you'll boost your maximum loitering time by 28.2%. ...I said I don't want to talk about it. |
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8. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2008-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-05 |
Image Number: |
28421 |
Caption: |
Last time I went to see a football game, the players were all about ten years older than me. Today, I was sitting in the stands with my hot dogs and nachos and beer, and I realized… …that you're getting a gut? THAT THEY'RE ALL TEN YEARS YOUNG THAN ME. Who won? TIME! TIME WON! I think the nachos held their own. |
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9. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2008-12-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2008-12-04 |
Image Number: |
28420 |
Caption: |
I used to feel like football players were champions fighting for our whole city's honor. Now I just feel like I'm watchin' a bunch of multimillionaires working. Like I'm eating hot dogs while watching Warren Buffet sell stock. RAAAAAAAGH! Good talk. |
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10. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2007-12-31 |
Pub. Date: |
2007-12-31 |
Image Number: |
20998 |
Caption: |
Ike Turner. 1931-2007. Oops, my bad, Mr. Turner. We're in O.J.'s room. Yours is right across the hall. |
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11. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2007-03-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2007-02-26 |
Image Number: |
16385 |
Caption: |
2006 Movie star Mel Gibson says horrible things about Jewish people. Stay tuned for several weeks of coverage about this outrage. 2006 TV star Michael Richards says horrible things about black people. Stay tuned for several weeks of coverage about this outrage. 2007 NBA star Tim Hardaway says horrible things about gay people. ...in other news... zzzzz |
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12. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2007-03-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2007-02-28 |
Image Number: |
16387 |
Caption: |
Meanwhile across town, Susan Garcia meets with a new client. I need some PR help, girl. I need somethin' that says "Yeh, I hate gay people and I said they shouldn't exist in the world… "…but hey, it was a long night. I was tired. I'm buying a condo on this one. "...and who doesn't turn into a raving bigot when he's tired?" |
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13. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2007-03-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2007-03-02 |
Image Number: |
16389 |
Caption: |
"The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." I've had it since I was ten. It literally covers every contingency. Literally? Check out page 18,987. "Fox News' satire show -- Barack Obama Skit -- Time Index 01:37… "…titled 'Barack vs. Tiger Woods: Who's More Diverse?' -- is actually a celebration of diversity." |
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14. |
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Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
Viewable Date: |
2005-03-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2005-03-26 |
Image Number: |
10001 |
Caption: |
Do you remember Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson? They played both major league football and major league baseball….. |
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