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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (31 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-31 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-31 Pub. Date: 2019-05-31
Image Number: 177797
Caption: 1982. Mr. Barnhouse must've really liked my art project. He said I should dedicate my whole entire life to it. It's a snow globe. And inside the snow globe is a little boy named Tommy Westphall. And Tommy is holding a tiny snow globe of his own. And inside Tommy's snow globe is an entire universe filled with people who each secretly have their own snow globes. And so on. I'm not sure Lemont, you should be committed for life means what you think it means. Mr. Barnhouse backed away slowly when he said it. That's a sign of respect.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-23 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-23 Pub. Date: 2018-12-23
Image Number: 175261
Caption: Online shopping has ruined everything. The mall just laid me off to cut costs. Really? It's going to ruin Christmas. I was the mall Santa. Now where are the tiny kids and babies going to go to sit on a stranger's lap and tell him what they want under their tree? Where are they going to go to hear a man who'll say ho ho ho? Who'll pat them on the head? Who'll tell them to stop begging for handouts? Who'll tell them to stop crying, get a job, and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps? You sure they laid you off because of online shopping? Who's going to give them a copy of The Art of the Deal and send them on their way?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-15 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-15 Pub. Date: 2018-06-15
Image Number: 172216
Caption: I got a tip about a huge geological calamity that's about to happen across the bridge. This story could make my site famous. Could you watch my boy while I go cover it? 'Course, bruh. For $4,000. Cool … what? I been reading Trump's Art of the Deal. It say if a brotha want something bad enough, charge him fifty times your usual fee. Are you sure that's in there? I demand to know what page. Ok. How much that information worth to you?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-28 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 163100
Caption: … So anyway, I had to fire an art director, a copywriter, a designer, a production artist and our web designer because of that donkey incident. That's too bad. But you did the right thing … you made the tough decision … "Always do what's best for the donkey," that's my motto. You know, I can tell when you haven't really been listening. What? I was totally listening! Then tell me what happened with the donkey. It's too atrocious for words. Nice try.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-21 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-21 Pub. Date: 2017-07-21
Image Number: 160505
Caption: She had dinner with Randy "The Rock" Taylor, the 6-foot-5 former football player. Uh-oh … The guy who writes "MANuals," the best-selling series of advice books for me. Is he dwelling on it? The guy who gave a Ted Talk on "The Art of Hot Lovin'." I hope he's not dwelling on it. The guy who wrote "How to Steal a Woman's Heart: For Dummies." He's probably not dwelling on it.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-17 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-17 Pub. Date: 2017-06-17
Image Number: 159156
Caption: Clyde picks up Lemont's son Lionel from daycare. I'ma tell you the only mature way to deal with a bully, little man. You know karate? No. Kung fu? No. Tae kwon do? No. Can you do a flying scissor kick? No. Pile driver? No. Boston crab? No. Get you a bigger friend. Ok.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-09 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 155971
Caption: Donald Trump is cutting all funding for NPR, the National Endowment for the Arts, PBS, the Institute of Museum and Library Services, and more. What? They goin' after Big Bird? What Big Bird do to him? I didn't know Trump was mad at 'im. I ain't seen no tweet about it or nothin'. Big Bird'll be fine. HBO owns Big Bird now. Say what? I don't know if I could watch Big Bird on HBO. Last thing I need to see is Big Bird naked, or Big Bird choppin' off people arms an' whatnot. That's not the point. The point is, he's stripping funding from the Smithsonian and other icons of our culture, but buying more bombs we don't need. I don't need to see Big Bird slingin' smack for the mafia. It's not always about Big Bird.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-10 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-10 Pub. Date: 2016-12-10
Image Number: 151818
Caption: Four years ago … I've been coming here for years now, and I have yet to be matched up with the perfect woman. My needs aren't too crazy: I want a woman who's into politics, Star Trek, comics, Aboriginal art, and long walks on the beach. And I want her to be brilliant. Prayers aren't supposed to be specific. I'm not saying she also has to be hot, but I wouldn't object to that.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-08 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-08 Pub. Date: 2016-01-08
Image Number: 137379
Caption: http://archive.org. Wayback Machine. Year: 1776. URL: Facebook.com/ThomasJefferson. Thomas Jefferson. About an hour ago. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. Like 35. musketsam: You, sir, art a communist who knoweth aught about the way the world works. Thomas Jefferson: Communist? musketsam: You would have us believe all men are "equal." I suppose that means you also think all men should be given polar bears made of jelly beans and whatever else they want. Thomas Jefferson: If you are endeavoring to change my mind about all men being created equal, you are doing a good job of it. John Adams: LOL! John Smith: This is a good article. If you enjoyed this article as I did, you may also like this Wonderful Sale on Tomahawks I discovered. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-26).
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-03 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135926
Caption: We never talk about the finer things. Who's your favorite artist, Clyde? That'd be "Big Oatmeal," down by the car wash. Brutha be spray-paintin' all over them t-shirts he sell. The art he be spittin' would take a brutha's breath away. No, I mean out of all of history's great artists which one's your favorite? The one who could paint my momma picture on a t-shirt for $4.95.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-21 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-21 Pub. Date: 2014-10-21
Image Number: 117915
Caption: My son. My brilliant son. When I look at you … … I see works of art that'll inspire millions. I see the cure for cancer. I see peace on Earth. I see the gleaming spires of our first Martian colonies. I see all the wondrous things you have the potential to bring forth, my son. No pressure, though. Gee, thankth, daddy.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-03 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-03 Pub. Date: 2013-03-03
Image Number: 93765
Caption: So you've been fighting less? Yes. And I see right through that, doctor. Dr. Noodle. The other day, I caught her reading "The Art of War." M.A. What's wrong with that? Clearly she's using it to get the upper hand in our marriage. She'd dog-eared the page that said "supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." I see. It hurts you to know that in her mind, you fill the role of "the enemy"? Ph.D. No, I just don't want to be tricked into being happy. That really makes me mad! OMG.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-26 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-26 Pub. Date: 2012-04-26
Image Number: 79773
Caption: http://archive.org. Wayback Machine. Year: 1776. URL: Facebook.com/ThomasJefferson. Thomas Jefferson. About an hour ago. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. Like 35. musketsam: You, sir, art a communist who knoweth aught about the way the world works. Thomas Jefferson: Communist? musketsam: You would have us believe all men are "equal." I suppose that means you also think all men should be given polar bears made of jelly beans and whatever else they want. Thomas Jefferson: If you are endeavoring to change my mind about all men being created equal, you are doing a good job of it. John Adams: LOL! John Smith: This is a good article. If you enjoyed this article as I did, you may also like this Wonderful Sale on Tomahawks I discovered.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-29 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-29 Pub. Date: 2011-09-29
Image Number: 65952
Caption: Art reflect life, Big L. Yeh, I made a video about a brutha dancin' around with his EBT card ... to shine a spotlight on how 1 outta every 7 every Americans is livin' in poverty today. 1 out of every 6.5. Oh, yeh. I forgot some of them bruthas be short. What? What?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-25 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-25 Pub. Date: 2011-09-25
Image Number: 65650
Caption: Beyonce gonna have Jay-Z baby. You know what that mean? It mean in ten years, we gonna have to listen to music from some kid who didn't have to pay no dues, 'cause her parents had connections and handed her a fat career on a silver platter. What that kid gonna sing about? True art come from struggle an' heartache. What kinda struggle an' heartache that kid gonna have? She'll have to deal with everyone thinking her struggles and heartaches are frivolous. That ain't nothing!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-06 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-06 Pub. Date: 2011-03-06
Image Number: 58098
Caption: Y'know what dawg? I'm tired of people talking spit about Obama's negotiating skills. They don't see the big picture. What big picture is that? He doesn't seem to believe in bartering. The ancient art of demanding more than you want, letting the other guy get outraged about it, and then settling for what you really wanted. Obama offers all his compromises before the other side even really asks for them. Like last month, we proposed slashing a program that helps poor people stay warm in the winter. Yeh, but think of what that'll do for the fur coat and graveyard sectors. I don't think "big picture" means what you think it means. He gonna have the undertaker vote lined up in 2010.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-12 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-12 Pub. Date: 2010-09-12
Image Number: 51720
Caption: I'm having a good day! Me too. You're always having a good day. Not really, but I fake it well. Yeah, way better than I do. Actually, I don't at all. I've perfected the art of denial. Denial is the natural form of antidepressant. That's depressing. WHAT'S depressing? See?
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-03 art 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-03 Pub. Date: 2010-08-03
Image Number: 50405
Caption: Let me get this straight: you think any court would recognize you're the more stable parent. Check. … So you want me to text Lemont, MY CLIENT, that it's pointless to fight you for custody of Lionel. Check. … Or you'll eat me alive. Check. What you may not know is, I know karate, ninjutsu, and several other Japanese words.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (31 images)