I was eating my muffin and drinking my latte when I noticed the tv on your wall is only 1080p resolution. That's right. So you admit it! Your tv is not an 8k UHD television! And yet your sign outside says "good eats and state of the art tech inside." That's false advertising. I might be willing to forgo the class action lawsuit and settle out of court. I'd settle for a 1080p tv. Get out.
Today's MAN LESSON is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … what do you mean? Pretend you're the lady. Ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even LOOK at another woman? A man would have to be CRAZY to look at another woman when he COULD be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.