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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-15 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-15 Pub. Date: 2019-08-15
Image Number: 178997
Caption: Let me get this straight: You have a moral objection to covering birth-control pills, even though it's often prescribed for medical reasons. I shouldn't have to pay so that women can have sex without facing any consequences. But you don't have a problem covering Viagra and vasectomies ... even though Viagra only exists so that men can have sex, and vasectomies only exist so that men can have sex without consequences. That's different. men are supposed to sow their wild oats. Women aren't. Who do you think they're sowing oats with?!
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-25 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-25 Pub. Date: 2019-06-25
Image Number: 178256
Caption: You know why else our cozy camps aren't concentration camps? Did you just say cozy camps? Yes. How else would you describe camps where thousands and thousands of people get to cuddle in cages to house much fewer … where we intern tiny tots, and where scarce resources have so far cause the gentle parting of 30 adults and children (that we know of)? Gentle part- ... do you mean death? I mean expiration.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-04 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-04 Pub. Date: 2019-06-04
Image Number: 177953
Caption: I can't wait to watch Star Trek: Picard. The teaser trailer made it pretty clear the show heavily involves the destruction of Romulus from J.J. Abrams 2009 film. That's going to tick off all the Abrams-haters who've been whining ever since 2009. I. Cannot. Wait. I thought Star Trek was all about a future where people aren't petty anymore. I'm all for eradicating pettiness after I get this last dig in.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-13 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-13 Pub. Date: 2019-05-13
Image Number: 177620
Caption: Did you see the new Sandra Bland video? The police found it on her phone two months after she died and hid it for four years. I still can't believe that cop flipped out on her like that after stopping her for a turn signal. It's just not safe for us out there. Happen all the time, Big L. That's why I started that GoFundMe. Black people aren't going to give you money to build escape-catapult seats for our cars. Already got 52,000 orders.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-22 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-22 Pub. Date: 2019-02-22
Image Number: 176395
Caption: I did some research, and I'm not sure George Bernard Shaw ever really said that quote I attributed to him. Yeh … You is a journalist, bruh. What do you mean, Clyde? You got it wrong on Tuesday, an' you just barely correctin' it now, on Friday when nobody payin' attention. Y'know ... Most people who aren't journalists never correct themselves at all. You sure that's accurate?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-04 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-04 Pub. Date: 2018-10-04
Image Number: 174291
Caption: Our meme division is taking fast, people. Some of our best labels are failing. Fear, Inc. Fear of being called a white knight or a social justice warrior aren't scaring men away from speaking up in support of women in online arguments anymore. It's dragging down the whole GDP. Don't be scared, sir. The gross domestic panic index is overrated as an indicator. That puts me at ease. you're fired.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-26 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-26 Pub. Date: 2018-08-26
Image Number: 173498
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Nothing. That's the problem. I'm not troubled or preoccupied or traumatized by anything. I'm satisfied with where I am in life. I'm single, but I'm good with that. I crave new things, but all my apps keep upgrading themselves every week, so I feel fulfilled. I can't think of a single thing I'm unhappy about. And that makes me sad ... because you're afraid this means you aren't introspective enough? Nah. I've never even thought about whether I'm introspective enough.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-02 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-02 Pub. Date: 2018-08-02
Image Number: 173243
Caption: Do you ever wonder whether you ever wonder? Stop it. I once thought I thought, but now I'm not sure I think I think. Stop it. I'm just saying, how do we know our thoughts are our own and not placed in our heads by a higher power? Aren't you the least bit curious about the curiosity known as curiosity? Stop it.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-29 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171946
Caption: Hello, you've reached the Secretary of State's office. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just checked, and I've been un-registered from the voter rolls. I see. We can fix that. What's your name and address? Lemont Brown. 1739 Sojourner Way, Candorville. Oh, yes Mr. Lemont Brown. It appears you tried to commit voter fraud. You registered at numerous addresses. What?! No I didn't! You're registered as a Leroy Braun over on Peebles Street ... Lamarr Boyd over on Tubman Parkway ... those people aren't me!! So you admit it, Le-Keysha Barnes?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-20 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162850
Caption: All children go through a crisis when they first realize their parents aren't perfect. Tell me about it. Dr. Noodle. After Lionel calmed down, I convinced him I wasn't purposely trying to kill the neighbor by selling him a microwave that might cause cancer ... or at least I thought I did. That night, flashing lights and a siren woke me from a deep slumber. I looked out the window ad say the police and the coroner were at the neighbor's apartment. It's a good idea to hide the phone for the duration of the crisis. Scribble scrib - Lionel later told be he'd called anonymously, using the name "Daniel Tiger," so I wouldn't get locked up. He's so smart.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-27 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-27 Pub. Date: 2017-07-27
Image Number: 160760
Caption: Hey, Lionel, it's daddy! You ready to go home? Everyone hazta go through me. Day Care. What? Who are you, little big man? Themz callz me "Bulldogz." Are you one of Lionel's little friends? Aren't you cute. Anyway, Lionel, let's go home. Dinner's waiting. did you tell my boy to deal with a bully by hiring a 4-year-old bodyguard? No. Ahmz only threeez.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-10 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-10 Pub. Date: 2016-12-10
Image Number: 151818
Caption: Four years ago … I've been coming here for years now, and I have yet to be matched up with the perfect woman. My needs aren't too crazy: I want a woman who's into politics, Star Trek, comics, Aboriginal art, and long walks on the beach. And I want her to be brilliant. Prayers aren't supposed to be specific. I'm not saying she also has to be hot, but I wouldn't object to that.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-17 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-17 Pub. Date: 2016-09-17
Image Number: 148484
Caption: 1982. You know how people always say "If aliens existed, why haven't they made contact?" Well … what if they have? What if we aren't the ones they're coming to visit? There are at least six species on earth that have a degree of intelligence. Nobody ever stops to think that the aliens may already have a mutual defense treaty with the octopuses. If you don't want to have sushi, just say "I don't want to have sushi." If the apocalypse happens, I just don't want anyone pointing fingers at me.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-16 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-16 Pub. Date: 2016-09-16
Image Number: 148483
Caption: I've been in long-distance relationships too, so I know how you feel. The fear that they aren't as into you as you're into them, but you're too far away to pick up on the body language. The near certainty that while you're hundreds of miles away, someone else has got their hands all over them. I hadn't really thought about any of that. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. Bus. 7 9 18 27 F 6
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-30 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-30 Pub. Date: 2016-06-30
Image Number: 145231
Caption: Do you ever wonder whether you ever wonder? Stop it. I once thought I thoughts, but now I'm not sure I think I think. Stop it. I'm just saying, how do we know our thoughts are our own and not placed in our heads by a higher power? Aren't you the least bit curious about the curiosity known as "curiosity"? Stop it.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-05 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-05 Pub. Date: 2016-06-05
Image Number: 143701
Caption: I love you. I made a mistake. That other woman meant nothing to me. Will you come back to me, boo? I want you back. You say I "need to show you I'm making an effort"? I'm calling you, aren't I? Nobody actually calls anyone anymore. I could've just texted you a sad-face emoji followed by a broken-heart emoji, but I wanted to show you how sincere I am that you're the only one for me. Ok, Siri, send that voice text to Amber, Kelly and Denise.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-28 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-28 Pub. Date: 2016-05-28
Image Number: 143642
Caption: My son wants "Pajama Diaries" to win "Best Comic Strip" at tonight's awards because he likes pajamas. And with that, I became convinced Donald Trump will be our next president. Don't get me wrong, I love "Pajama Diaries." I'd be thrilled if it won. But I don't love what my son's reasoning says about humanity. We base our choices on highly personal, irrational reasons, and then we rationalize them after the fact. Aren't you being a little hard on a two-year-old? Don't you see? A lot of people vote with their inner two-year-olds.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-28 aren't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-28 Pub. Date: 2016-02-28
Image Number: 139304
Caption: There's no such thing as aliens. What?! How can you even think such a thing after all we've found? We've found over 1,000 planets! And we've only begun searching. And there's no telling how many moons those planets have. Any of them could be capable of supporting life. That just sounds silly, Lemont. "Silly"?! Do you have any idea how vast the galaxy is? We can't even see half of it! Astronomers have calculated there are almost nine billion stars with earth-size planets in the habitable zones, Susan! Nine BILLION! ... Just in our galaxy alone! What's "silly" is thinking we're all alo -- ... You're just messing with me, aren't you. It's just so easy.
     
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