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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-08 |
| Image Number: |
179433 |
| Caption: |
The Iditarod is 938 miles … stop asking if we're there yet!!
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-04 |
| Image Number: |
169893 |
| Caption: |
!?! Okay fleas … one more are we there yet? and I'm turning this thing around.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-02-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-02-21 |
| Image Number: |
168668 |
| Caption: |
How can you be so heartless?! I have half a mind to tweet about this! Pardon? A bus full of tiny orphan broke down down the hill. It was on the news. Yet you didn't offer them any food. How would this look for your café if you totally ignored them in their time of need? If you'd like to prepare some tuna croissants, I'd be more than happy to haul them down there for you. Not falling for it.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-12-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-12-17 |
| Image Number: |
165604 |
| Caption: |
Do you know why I love Star Trek, minion? We called me in at 2am to talk about this? It's because it's a lefty-liberal utopia. They've eliminated scarcity. There's all the food and shelter anyone could ever want, so there's no more need for capitalism. They flat-out say there's no such concept as money in their society. And yet we've seen them buy things. With money. Plenty of times. It's absolute proof that people never truly have to live up to the ideals they espouse, and that's always been an inspiration to me. Now get back out there and remember, the customer is always right!* Service with a smile.* Providing a quality product is its own reward.* You're a very good man.*
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-12-05 |
| Image Number: |
165716 |
| Caption: |
It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. Weepy in Wisconsin, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net cybercafe. I just read the most beautiful poem ever. It's called On Children, by Kahlil Gibran. I have two babies myself, and after reading that, I just can't stop weeping. When your babies are teenagers they'll wreck your car, steal your watch, and be ashamed to be seen with you. There. Have you stopped crying yet, loser? Still crying. Different reason. You're welcome. Next caller!
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-10-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-10-15 |
| Image Number: |
163143 |
| Caption: |
Hello, you've reached Lowe an' Sharke Lending Club. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad from you in the mail saying I'm pre-qualified for an $80,000 low-interest loan, with no collateral needed. That's right. All I need is for you to answer a few brief questions so we can see if you qualify. What do you mean? You said I was already pre-qualified. Doesn't "pre-qualified" mean I've been qualified already. No. It means you haven't been qualified yet. What the -- By that definition, everyone in the whole world is "pre-qualified"! That's incorrect, sir. There are about 101 billion post-living people who wouldn't qualify.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-04-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-04-11 |
| Image Number: |
156747 |
| Caption: |
It turns out celiac disease is thousands of years old. Yet I still never heard about "gluten" till recently. What do you think that means, Randy? It obviously means big wheat has some explaining to do. They must've altered the grains. I don't know. Maybe it's because our environment has gotten cleaner. So since our antibodies haven't had to work as hard, they've gotten weaker. HOJ. If there's one thing you'd know about, little buddy, it's atrophy. We should have our own science show.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves Tom Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Frank and Ernest |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-03-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-03-05 |
| Image Number: |
156091 |
| Caption: |
What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing. |
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-01-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-01-18 |
| Image Number: |
153406 |
| Caption: |
Vancouver was nervous, just like me. There we stood, two people who'd Facebooked every day for a year … who earn a living telling stories to millions … yet neither of us could string together a complete sentence. She drew me into her home in absolute silence ... Almost. I could hear out soft footsteps on her carpet. I could hear my own heart beating. I could hear my phone ring. I could hear her say "You gonna get that?" I could hear myself say "It's just a telemarketer." Dios mio.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-12-11 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-12-11 |
| Image Number: |
151421 |
| Caption: |
Oh, Liam. I thought you were dead. I thought I would never see you again! Is that why you married … my brother? … Oh, Caroline … it's doesn't matter. When the mafia held me captive in a seaside cave all these years, the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you. Caroline ... who is that mysterious stranger lurking outside your bedroom window? Is it yet another lover? No, it's me. Frank. The executive producer. You can cut all this out, we've been canceled. The market can't support more than three soap operas anymore. Everyone's busy watching Youtube. But Frank, I've got three more kids to put through college! And another thirty payments on my car! What am I supposed to do, you heartless @#$%?! Wait ... who's that lurking over there outside that other window? I don't know. It's me. Jeff, CEO of the network. We've been sold to Sputum Cable. They're canceling all executive producer contracts.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Greg Evans |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Luann |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-09-25 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-25 |
| Image Number: |
147741 |
| Caption: |
Are all quarts the same? No, Tiffany. There are many different ones: Supreme Courts, courts of appeals, district courts, municipal courts - Um … ok. So is a quart of yogurt the same as a quart of oj? Oh - quart. Well, yogurt is measured by weight, while oj is a liquid amount. So they're the same, but different. Y'know, Gunther. I never understand anything you say in our study sessions. Ditto. Yet we both learn so much! |
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-09-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-07 |
| Image Number: |
147765 |
| Caption: |
It's all fixed. What's all fixed? The dryer door. You said it wouldn't stay closed. Duct tape? I haven't even put any wet clothes in there yet!! Okay, you get a scraper and try to get it open. I'll go buy a new roll of duct tape. |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
J.C. Duffy |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Fusco Brothers |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-09-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-09-01 |
| Image Number: |
145571 |
| Caption: |
Lars, there's something I need to tell you. Erp. Oh, excuse me, Linda. When my stomach senses yet another breakup speech, I get gas. |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Signe Wilkinson |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Family Tree |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-07-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-05-20 |
| Image Number: |
47533 |
| Caption: |
Can't you put away your cell phone? Just seeing if Nick's at the prom already. U there yet? Almost! |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-04-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-04-29 |
| Image Number: |
141894 |
| Caption: |
These old boots are a lot like me. They're not much to look at, but they're comfortable and they don't require much upkeep. There's nothing fancy about them and they don't put on airs. And yet there's a definite air about them. |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-01-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-01-19 |
| Image Number: |
137963 |
| Caption: |
SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dave Coverly |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Speed Bump |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-10-13 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-10-13 |
| Image Number: |
133549 |
| Caption: |
The Artist 10k. Finish … Wait, one more thing. Finish … Hmm, no, still not right … Finish … Not quite there yet … |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Peters |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mother Goose and Grimm |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-09-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-09-28 |
| Image Number: |
132562 |
| Caption: |
Not yet, it's too soon! Get back up there!! ! Z. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-07-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-07-30 |
| Image Number: |
130394 |
| Caption: |
(Ahem) Dear patrons, an announcement: My symphony debuts online next week … and to reward you all for being loyal customers, I'm going to sing you a sample from the first single. There are no vocals yet, so I'll be singing you the oboe, woodwind and bagpipe instrumentals. Get back to work. Bee beebebeebee boo ... Boooo booboobooboo beee. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves Tom Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Frank and Ernest |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-06-20 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-06-20 |
| Image Number: |
128833 |
| Caption: |
He always has to have the last word, and there aren't that many of them yet! |
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