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Candorville

Comics about animals.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (53 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-16 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-16 Pub. Date: 2019-07-16
Image Number: 178560
Caption: In just one handful of soil, there are about 50 million bacteria. Oh wow. There's a biomass of billions of tons of microbes living 600 meters underground. Do you have any idea what this means, Susan? It means there's more bacteria deep inside the earth than animals on the surface of it. But on the other hand, it's all gross, so we still come out ahead. Don't get the biomass angry, Lemont.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-18 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-18 Pub. Date: 2019-06-18
Image Number: 178161
Caption: Someone posted a video of themselves all dressed in camo … wearing night vision goggles and hunting hogs, dogs and other wild animals. It made me wonder: Do you think hippos and tapeworms brag to each other every time they take one of us out? I wonder what they'd upload to youtube ... if they had fingers and thumbs.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-22 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-22 Pub. Date: 2019-03-22
Image Number: 176839
Caption: Boss, if you could be any animal on earth, which one would you be? I'm glad you asked, minion. I'd be a nocturnal, camouflaged Wobbegong at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. There I'd lie in wait, ever vigilant, ever hungry ... ever ready to devour any creature large or small unlucky enough to brush against my whiskers. I'm going to back away now. No, no ... don't back away, minion ... That's when the Wobbegong will get you.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-21 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-21 Pub. Date: 2019-03-21
Image Number: 176838
Caption: Randy, if you could be any animal there is, which one would you be? Easy: I'd be a Bonobo monkey. But not just any Bonobo monkey, I'd be the king of all Bonobo monkeys. They resolve all their conflicts with a little good, old-fashioned, hot, steamy lovin'. They're the best animal to be. DO you agree? Totally, of course. No conflict here.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-28 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-28 Pub. Date: 2019-02-28
Image Number: 176500
Caption: Is your boy still worried red meat will kill you? No. Apparently I changed the subject. He asked me Daddy, what is red meat? So I said Usually it's a cow. He said A cowy? Why do you want to eat a cowy? A cowy doesn't want you to eat her! So instead of worrying that meat will kill me, now he's worrying that I'm going to eat all the animals. This is why I only eat with grownups. He tore up our zoo pass.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-25 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-25 Pub. Date: 2019-02-25
Image Number: 176497
Caption: What I believe. Part 479. I believe we're not the only species on Earth that reasons, that dreams, that loves, and that suffers. I believe that EVERY animal is sentient … Except for the tasty ones.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-28 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-28 Pub. Date: 2019-01-28
Image Number: 176031
Caption: 1982. When I grow up, I want to be a famous philosopher, like Aristotle. Why Aristotle? Momma says he was a rabbit massagenist. That's probably why he was so smart. I've read that petting animals stimulates your brain. Lemont … I'm pretty sure misogynist is someone who's into misogyny. Oh ... I'm not sure I could even find a rabbit's knees. What? What?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-02 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-02 Pub. Date: 2018-12-02
Image Number: 174985
Caption: Big L, you want me to be Santa again for your boy this year? Let me think about that, Clyde … Last year, I woke up to find my two-year-old boy shocking a pigeon with a taser gun. He said Santa gave him the taser, said Don't tell your daddy, and then forgot to shut the window when he climbed down the fire escape. I tried mouth-to-mouth but the pigeon was long gone. I only had to spend nine days in jail for animal cruelty, but my boy was in therapy for four months. Not my fault. I told him to only use it for fishing. No I don't want you to be Santa this year!!!
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-23 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-23 Pub. Date: 2018-11-23
Image Number: 175067
Caption: What's wrong with you? We are not the paragon of animals, Rosencrantz. If we were, we could create colors not seen anywhere else in nature. Rather than hues of blue, red and green, we could have hues of Morp, Pilpatorn and Fwang. All I'm saying is, a truly superior species would have Morp-colored underpants. I don't think unnatural colors on my underpants would be comforting.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-12 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172213
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-07 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170153
Caption: You know a good way to tell your friend his breath remind you of barnyard animals? My breath is just fine, Clyde. You sound defensive, bruh. Of course, I do. You said something about me that isn't true, so I'm defending myself. That's what's wrong with America: Every time an innocent person defends himself, people say that's proof he's guilty. There you go again with your defense-tivity. Your breath must be worse than I though. I'm going to quit while I'm behind.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-30 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-30 Pub. Date: 2017-10-30
Image Number: 164415
Caption: North Korea sent a desperate letter to the western world last week. They urged the west to rein in Trump. They seemed to feel like they're backed into a corner, they're hurt, and they're about to be attacked. And you know what they say about backing a wounded animal into a corner. They say "corner that punk. Show it who boss." They say "don't do it."
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-18 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-18 Pub. Date: 2017-08-18
Image Number: 161535
Caption: 1982. Mr. Barnhouse said the ancient Greeks thought gorillas were a myth. And people thought manatees were myths too. People used to think the platypus was a hoax. But it's real! … or so they'd like us to believe. You know what this means, right? It means every other creature that's thought to be a myth must also be real. I really don't think Pegasus, Medusa and the Kraken are real. I've just scientifically proven they are. Don't be so anti-science.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-07 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-07 Pub. Date: 2016-10-07
Image Number: 149310
Caption: What's wrong with you? We are not the paragon of animals, Rosencrantz. If we were, we could create colors not seen anywhere else in nature. Rather than hues of blue, red and green, we could have hues of morp, pilpatorn and fwang. All I'm saying is, a truly superior species would have morp-colored underpants. I don't think unnatural colors on my underpants would be comforting.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-02 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-02 Pub. Date: 2016-10-02
Image Number: 148531
Caption: It's my memory, doc. The more I look into it, the more it's just all wrong. For instance … Dr. Noodle. The first book I ever read was a "Berenstein Bears" book called Up Down and All Around. But when I tried to buy it for my kid, I discovered it was BerenSTAIN bears, and that there was never a Berenstein Bears books called "Up Down and All Around." It's perfectly normal to misremember things like that. Even large numbers of people collectively misremember things. I remember "Berenstein" too. Oh ... yeah, I figured. It's a lot more likely than thinking aliens kidnapped me from an alternate reality where it was "Berenstein" and put me here ... not that I was thinking that. Take two "stay off the internets" and call me in the morning. Look up "Mandela Effect" and "Ford Logo" on Youtube and then tell me there's no multiverse kidnapping going on!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-17 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-17 Pub. Date: 2016-09-17
Image Number: 148484
Caption: 1982. You know how people always say "If aliens existed, why haven't they made contact?" Well … what if they have? What if we aren't the ones they're coming to visit? There are at least six species on earth that have a degree of intelligence. Nobody ever stops to think that the aliens may already have a mutual defense treaty with the octopuses. If you don't want to have sushi, just say "I don't want to have sushi." If the apocalypse happens, I just don't want anyone pointing fingers at me.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-30 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-30 Pub. Date: 2016-08-30
Image Number: 147920
Caption: That trailer for Eddie Murphy's "Mr. Church" don't look like nothin' but "Driving Miss Daisy Part 2." It look like it literally a film about a brotha who spend decades serving white people an' tryin' to be part of they family instead of makin' his own. I was willin' to look the other way when he was talkin' to animals, and when a tree made him shut up for a whole movie, an' when he played a donkey. But when he play a black man who want nothin' outta life but to cook grits for two white women, I draw the line. It's a true story!!! That makes it ok.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-20 animal 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-20 Pub. Date: 2016-08-20
Image Number: 147390
Caption: Did you notice when Arsenio Hall's show got funnier once he grew a goatee? And remember how Star Trek's Captain Sisko got a lot cooler once he grew a goatee? Remember how Malcolm X got a lot more "Malcolm X"-y once he grew a goatee? Why, then, is the goat the most boring land mammal there is? Right now you're making me doubt that's the case.
     
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