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The Almost Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  Next  (373 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-12-08 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-12-08 Pub. Date: 2019-12-08
Image Number: 180640
Caption: Last week, a drunk driver almost ran me off the road. Dr. Noodle. So I tweeted Drunk drivers are the worst. Some guy replied What about violent criminals? He wrote They kill people and take their stuff on purpose. Why are you minimizing violent crime? I replied This is stupid. Then someone else replied that I'm heartless for writing that Caring about violent crime is stupid. I replied with That's not what I said! Have you considered that social media is a waste of time? Someone else replied He's denying it. That's proof he know he got caught.
     
2. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-12-08 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-12-08 Pub. Date: 2019-12-08
Image Number: 180661
Caption: Sometimes I think my sole purpose on earth is to teach people to slow down. Everyone always seems to be in such a dang rush. It's unhealthy. People need to slow it down and enjoy the ride. Let's both take a deep, deep breath … And then we breathe out all that need to hurry and scurry through life. Isn't that a good feeling? Whoo. Whoo. Opal! How's dinner coming? Almost ready?
     
3. Comic Strip Dave Coverly  Speed Bump 2019-12-04 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Dave Coverly
Comic/Cartoon: Speed Bump
Viewable Date: 2019-12-04 Pub. Date: 2019-12-04
Image Number: 180607
Caption: I almost gave them a second chance, then they started chewing with their mouths open.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-30 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-30 Pub. Date: 2019-10-30
Image Number: 180104
Caption: You really need to stop conducting experiments on your readers. What? All I did was run a page of news about Democrats. And then the next day, I ran the same news only I switched the Democratic names out for Republican ones. And then almost every commenter who bashed the politicians the first day made excuses for them the second day. And vice versa. Your readers are not lab rats, Lemont. Of course they're not. the rats responses the same way both days.
     
5. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-10-26 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-10-26 Pub. Date: 2019-10-26
Image Number: 180039
Caption: So then I said, if that's a squirrel I'd hate to see a … Why do you keep looking at my forehead while I'm talking? I can't help it. It's your eyebrows. They move around when you talk. It's mesmerizing. It's almost like two caterpillars doing a mating dance. Where are my clippers.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-09 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-09 Pub. Date: 2019-10-09
Image Number: 179806
Caption: I'm using reader feedback to perfect a book I'm writing called Lemont's Axioms of the Internet. Ooh. Tell me more. I posted my first axiom on my site and waited for the comments. What's the axiom? Lemont's first axiom: People who start a reply with actually almost always go on to write something that's utter nonsense. Actually, I think that's very observant of you, Lemont. 89 percent of my readers wrote exactly the same thing.
     
7. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2008-12-11 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2019-10-01 Pub. Date: 2008-12-11
Image Number: 30662
Caption: "…An all-inclusive week for two at our uninhabited 'Rompabout Resort' in Costa Rica!" I dunno, TJ…It's a two bedroom villa! You're asking Toni as a friend. Completely innocent! Of course, the intoxicating romance of the place may overcome her, but that's not the plan, is it? No! Absolutely not! Ooo! Nicely done. Almost convinced me.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-30 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-30 Pub. Date: 2019-09-30
Image Number: 179725
Caption: Huff here's huff your huff tea huff … huff … huff … huff … I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin? All huff across America, huff office worker are ditching huff their desks and walking huff on treadmills while they work. Can I get some water. Coming right up. Good thing I wore my tripping shoes.
     
9. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-09-20 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-09-20 Pub. Date: 2019-09-20
Image Number: 179440
Caption: There's so much contention and violence in the world today … It almost makes me lose my will to live. Would it help if I baked some snickerdoodles? Hmm … Yeah, I suppose I owe it to humanity.
     
10. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2019-09-08 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2019-09-08 Pub. Date: 2019-09-08
Image Number: 179546
Caption: Boy, I really need some sleep. Almost! Huff! Puff! oh, c'mon. I sure miss the old days. I never had a problem catching some Z's when I was younger.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-25 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-25 Pub. Date: 2019-08-25
Image Number: 179092
Caption: How was your day, Lemont? Horrible. I gave a speech to a high school assembly about the importance of journalism. Halfway through, I realized almost nobody was paying attention. They were all staring at their laps. Turns out most of them were on their phones. Square drones, yeah ... weird/ Seriously? Were you on your phone just now? Of course not. I don't know what you mean by Were you on your phone just now. How about a web search for it?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-07 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-07 Pub. Date: 2019-08-07
Image Number: 178908
Caption: Then there's Peter Sean Brown, an American citizen with the same name as an immigrant. He had proper ID, but still the government held him for weeks and almost deported him to Jamaica. Then it occurred to me … I've always wanted to travel more. Do you think when my time comes, they'd deport me to Paris if I start speaking with a French accent? Mon dieu.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-05 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-05 Pub. Date: 2019-08-05
Image Number: 178904
Caption: Did you know ICE and border patrol are detaining American citizens now? So far it's just a few. They detained 18-year-old Francisco Erwin Galicia for almost a month … even though he showed his state ID and his social security card. His mom showed them his birth certificate proving he was born in Dallas. But they still wouldn't release him ... not until the Dallas morning news reported on it. I still agree with the readers who said it was crude for you to title your article The Press is the Enema of the People.
     
14. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2019-08-02 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2019-08-02 Pub. Date: 2019-08-02
Image Number: 178681
Caption: Car thief arrested carrying rattlesnake and uranium. When asked by police Is this uranium … the driver replied, No. It's my wife's, but that's my rattlesnake. You almost had me.
     
15. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-07-22 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-07-22 Pub. Date: 2019-07-22
Image Number: 178580
Caption: Nelson, why are you eating a popsicle? It's almost time for dinner. I was hungry. We;;, give it to me. It's going back in the freezer. If you eat all your food you can have it back after dinner. I want to speak to a manager!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-18 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-18 Pub. Date: 2019-07-18
Image Number: 178562
Caption: Candorville.com says we discovered tons of microbes living deep inside the earth. You know what this means? Scientists are pretty sure both Venus and Mars were habitable a long time ago. If microbes ever existed on either planet, then it's almost guaranteed they're still alive there, deep inside the earth ... I mean, deep inside the Venus. And the Mars. Hey, if we get to call dirt by our planet's name, so do those alien microbes ... and so the advocacy begins. That's your earthier privilege talking.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-14 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-14 Pub. Date: 2019-07-14
Image Number: 178556
Caption: According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-06-08 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-06-08 Pub. Date: 2019-06-08
Image Number: 177967
Caption: Darlene, you want to go for a walk? Sure. Just a quick one. House of Java .net. Of course. A casual walk. That's it. We'll catch up. Then have drinks, dinner, then fly to Vegas for a quick nuptials. I'm actually mostly kidding. I actually almost missed your persistence.
     
19. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2019-05-27 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2019-05-27 Pub. Date: 2019-05-27
Image Number: 177895
Caption: Studies show almost everybody believes that they're an above average driver. Most people also think they're better looking than their driver's license photo.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-26 almost 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-26 Pub. Date: 2019-05-26
Image Number: 177780
Caption: One coffee please. Latte? Regular coffee. Menu. Espresso? Au lait? Mocha? Ice blended half-caf? Hazelnut thai treat? Pumpkin rhubarb spiced banana organic beef au gratin mashup latte? Regular coffee. Please, I'm begging … Almost got her. I'll pay extra. One regular coffee. Coming up.
     
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