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Candorville

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-23 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-23 Pub. Date: 2018-08-23
Image Number: 173657
Caption: I couldn't see. The air ducts surrounding me were a void. But there was something … a whimper, up ahead. Mama … Mama … I inched toward the sound. That's when I felt a … a presence. Behind me, in the distance. My feet grew cold, as if something … dead were breathing on them. Mama! I reached the vent just in time and calmly climbed through it. Calmly don't sound like you, bruh. Who's telling this story.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-09 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-09 Pub. Date: 2018-01-09
Image Number: 167090
Caption: … So then I told him "You've begged me to untie you no less than fifteen times already. I'm sick of it." Pardon me. Couldn't help but overhear. It's actually "fewer," not "less." "Fewer" is for things you count. "Less" is for things you don't count. How'd you like to have fewer days ahead of you? Yes, yes. Much better.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-16 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140511
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don't know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "Your" an' "breath." ... an' "stank."
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-05 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-05 Pub. Date: 2015-11-05
Image Number: 134724
Caption: Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Hey … Guess what? Mainstream Media. Exoneration Nation. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. Donald Trump. MSM. Ben Carson's shot ahead in some polls. OMG! Let's explore what this means for Donald Trump.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-03 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-03 Pub. Date: 2015-09-03
Image Number: 131901
Caption: I feel like when I was a kid, there was a lot more life out there. More butterflies. More lizards. More roly-poly bugs. Yeah. Same here. I always thought that was because the older I get, the less attention I pay to stuff like that. But then I read that we've finally gone ahead and caused the world's sixth great extinction event. Species are dying off 10,000 times faster than normal now. That's great news! It means the vanishing of butterflies isn't just me being self-absorbed.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-13 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-13 Pub. Date: 2015-08-13
Image Number: 130936
Caption: What do you think the future's going to be like, Clyde? Just like now, only I'll have fries. Katrina's Ghost. I don't mean "The Future" as in fifteen minutes from now. I mean "the future" as in 200 years from now. Do you ever think further than fifteen minutes ahead? Do you ever think about the future of mankind? Would thinkin' 'bout that get me fries? Not everything in life is about fries, Clyde. I beg to differ, bruh.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-30 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-30 Pub. Date: 2015-06-30
Image Number: 129037
Caption: An 11-year-old boy was playing in his yard for 90 minutes after the school bus dropped him off … because his parents were stuck in traffic and couldn't get home to let him in. They were thrown in jail, charged with a felony, and their kids were taken away. When you have for-profit prisons, there's a lot of incentive to fill them by any means necessary. I still say if your son's never had a peanut butter sandwich, go ahead and make him one. If he turns out to have an allergy, they'd probably charge me with attempted murder.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-21 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-21 Pub. Date: 2014-09-21
Image Number: 115916
Caption: I just can't stop getting ahead of myself, doc. The other day, I was on a job interview … Dr. Noodle. They're not going to call me back, doc. You don’t know that. When they asked if I had any questions, I asked how secure the retirement pension was. That's not too bad. I asked the interviewer if I could call her "Susan." Still not that bad. ... So you think it wasn't that big a deal when they noticed I'd put a few sandwiches in their refrigerator? ... Do you have any other job prospects? Yeah, but Susan looked at me funny when I asked her for a letter of reference.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-19 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-19 Pub. Date: 2014-03-19
Image Number: 108865
Caption: Why do you keep walking two feet ahead of me, Clyde? I don’t know what you talkin' 'bout, Big L. It's almost like you're trying to put on some primal show of dominance. Like you're trying to be the alpha male here. You always over-thinkin' things, bruh. Then how come you sped up as soon as I got next to you? Two words: "your" an' "breath." ... An' "stank."
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-14 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-14 Pub. Date: 2014-02-14
Image Number: 107417
Caption: I ain't really runnin' for Congress, Big L. I was just messin' with you. I know, Clyde. I knew you were joking the whole time. You always say you knew erething. When Darth Vader said he Luke daddy, you said "I knew that." It's like you need people to think you always two steps ahead. I knew you were gonna say that.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-10 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-10 Pub. Date: 2013-04-10
Image Number: 95574
Caption: Lemont talks to Brian at Concast cable. Didn't we give you HBO free for six months? When you were down, didn't we come over promptly to service you? Go ahead, try satellite. You'll come crawling back here when their six-month special is over and they get just as expensive as us. ok. 'Bye. WAIT! What if ... What if we change? It's too late, Brian. (Originally published on 2011-08-31).
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-10 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-10 Pub. Date: 2012-07-10
Image Number: 51939
Caption: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep. Oh. Go right ahead. By the way, did I tell you about the bed bug epidemic? Your bed may be infested with millions of blood-sucking insects. I can't sleep at all. 100% of those who suffer from insomnia will DIE!!! ... eventually. (This cartoon was originally published in 2010).
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-15 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-15 Pub. Date: 2012-03-15
Image Number: 77315
Caption: Mommy thed I should call child pwotective sewvices if you thweaten me. Go ahead, call them and tell them I threatened to not give you dessert if you don’t eat your peas. I don’t think you weawize I'm sewious. How can I, when you say it like that? Hewwo, I wanna wepowt a cwime.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-01 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-01 Pub. Date: 2012-02-01
Image Number: 75826
Caption: What do you mean you have nothing for me? You majored in liberal arts … Jobville Employment Agency. … Which doesn't qualify you for the jobs that are still out there. You should've thought ahead, like I did. Identified growth industries and majored in one of them. What did you major in? Unemployment counseling. With a minor in post-apocalyptic foraging.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-29 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-29 Pub. Date: 2011-10-29
Image Number: 67159
Caption: The judge gave you full custody of Lionel?! Yeah! I won! Dios mio, Lemont! I'm so happy for you! I've never won anything in my whole life!!! Of course you have! You have friends who love you, you do what you like to do for a living, and you've got your health. And apparently you don't ever go hungry. Quit while I'm ahead!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-31 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-31 Pub. Date: 2011-08-31
Image Number: 65030
Caption: Lemont talks to Brian at Concast cable. Didn't we give you HBO free for six months? When you were down, didn't we come over promptly to service you? Go ahead, try satellite. You'll come crawling back here when their six-month special is over and they get just as expensive as us. ok. 'Bye. WAIT! What if ... What if we change? It's too late, Brian.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-31 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-31 Pub. Date: 2011-01-31
Image Number: 56815
Caption: Hi, Sasha, it's 1 a.m. I can't sleep. My life isn't going the way I want it to go, so I'm writing to you in the hopes that you'll send me that photo you said you took of me back in college. It'll remind me of a time when I was young and had my whole life ahead of me, and hadn't screwed it up yet with mistakes and bad decisions. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Hey, Sasha, You owe me a photo. xoxo Lemont. SEND.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-15 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-15 Pub. Date: 2010-12-15
Image Number: 55238
Caption: Hello, younger me. I've come back through time in your dreams to tell you something that'll change the whole course of your life. Sasha Mitchell, your "one that got away," Facebooked you a couple of days ago. You have to write back … NOW. Surely it can wait till morning. No it can't, and ... and ... um ... mph. Oh go ahead, we know we want to. DON'T CALL ME "SHIRLEY"! ... last time I swear.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-04 ahead 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-04 Pub. Date: 2010-10-04
Image Number: 52722
Caption: Lemont … did I ever tell you how proud I am of you for conquering your fear? Huh? That talk you gave in Walnut Creek to 2,000 people. I watched it online. You were incredible! Yeah … it went well and I'm glad I NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE! I like to quit while I'm ahead. Dios mio.
     
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