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Candorville

Comics about being afraid .

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-16 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-16 Pub. Date: 2019-09-16
Image Number: 179498
Caption: Dick Fink, if Lemont Brown calls, can you put it through? Afraid not, ma'am. I don't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is a day of rest. Even the Lord doesn't work on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is Saturday. Today is Monday. I don't consult calendars on the Sabbath.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-08 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-08 Pub. Date: 2019-09-08
Image Number: 179293
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My best friend chews, loudly, with his mouth open. It embarrasses me every time we eat out. I'm afraid if I point it out, it'll ruin our friendship. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the point across without hurting his feelings? - Andrea in Anaheim. Excellent question. Here's what you do ... Next time you eat lunch with your friend, bring a newspaper. Every time he chews with his mouth open, roll up the newspaper and swat him on the nose with it. Then say It works for my poodle. If he laughs instead of pressing charges, you'll know you've got a real friend. *MGMT accepts no responsibility for the possibly horrendous consequences of Sadie Cohen's advice. Use at your own risk.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-03 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-03 Pub. Date: 2019-09-03
Image Number: 179295
Caption: I'm not afraid of public speaking, Susan. Really? Then how come every CNN asks you to go on air to discuss one of your articles, you come up with some lame excuse not to? I appeared once. I remember … I remember you looked an awful lot like Clyde that day, pretending to be you. Everyone knows the camera adds sunglasses, a goatee and different bone structure. Dios mio.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-14 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-14 Pub. Date: 2019-01-14
Image Number: 175840
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Jasmine barns, the little black girl who was killed in a shooting. When the police said the suspect was a white man, I was shaken. I was scared. I was afraid it was one more example of racism getting out of control in America. But when the police later said no, the real killer were black ... I felt ... I felt ... relief. That's normal, Lemont. Don't be too hard on yourself. How bad off are we when we can think Oh good, it's just normal gun violence.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-26 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-26 Pub. Date: 2018-08-26
Image Number: 173498
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Nothing. That's the problem. I'm not troubled or preoccupied or traumatized by anything. I'm satisfied with where I am in life. I'm single, but I'm good with that. I crave new things, but all my apps keep upgrading themselves every week, so I feel fulfilled. I can't think of a single thing I'm unhappy about. And that makes me sad ... because you're afraid this means you aren't introspective enough? Nah. I've never even thought about whether I'm introspective enough.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-29 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172924
Caption: What's your worst fear, Lemont? Easy. Vacuum decay. As you probably know … The Higgs Field that holds the entire universe together could collapse at any moment. If at any point in reality, a tiny part of the Higgs Field slipped from its high-energy state to its lowest one, it would start an entropic cascade. It would collapse the entire Higgs Field. A bubble would expand at the speed of light obliterating the laws of physics within its growing sphere. Galaxies, stars, planets, you, me, goldfish ... All of our atoms would be instantly blasted apart. And get this: It may have already happened. Since it only grows at the speed of light, we'll have no warning at all ... I'm also afraid of the dentist. If I can't sleep tonight it's totally your fault.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-20 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-20 Pub. Date: 2018-06-20
Image Number: 172356
Caption: No, thanks. I like to let my reporting speak for itself. I'd rather not come on your show. I wrote 4,000 words about how Kim Jong Un tricked the president into offering him everything he wanted in exchange for nothing. That should be enough. There's no reason for me to appear on CNN just to basically repeat it all ... No, I am not afraid of public speaking. Y'know ... grown people aren't supposed to make chicken noises.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-15 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-15 Pub. Date: 2018-02-15
Image Number: 168416
Caption: You ready to see Black Panther tonight, Big L? Almost. I got the tickets, I got a baby sitter for Lionel … but I still need to sew my costume. You have any idea how hard it is to find black spandex? What? You're not afraid to be seen with a man wearing spandex tights, are you? Bruh, after what you wore to The Little Mermaid, ain't nothin' faze me.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-05 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163373
Caption: Lemont, you run the seventh most popular news and opinion site online. Why don't you start a Youtube show too? It would be huge. No thanks. I've got principles. It's wrong to crave fame and celebrity. I'm not that full of myself. (Sigh) … Is this about how you're scared to death of public speaking? I'm not "scared to death." I'm principled to death.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-04 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152857
Caption: I need some new pants. Want to come shopping? I'll pretend you ain't asked me that, Big L. Bruthas don't "shop" together. That's what women do. What, you need me to tell you if them jeans make you look fat? You need me to tell you how pretty you is? Get outta here with that #$%@. Clyde, a man who's secure in his own sexuality isn't afraid to go shopping with another man. I'll pretend you ain't said "sexuality" to me.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-16 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-16 Pub. Date: 2016-12-16
Image Number: 152114
Caption: There she is! This just got real. What if she doesn't like me in person like she does online? She hasn't seen me in a year, what if I don't turn her on anymore? What if she things I'm just a huge geek, like every other woman has? Knock knock. Eh … just play it cool. Dear god! Footsteps! I hear footsteps!
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-15 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-15 Pub. Date: 2016-08-15
Image Number: 147385
Caption: I went to the Russian winter Olympics. Oh, that's cool. How was it? Well at first I was afraid it was going to be nothing but unfamiliar customs and strange foods … but then I saw their harsh anti-gay laws in action. It was just like being in Arizona, or Utah, or Oklahoma, or Texas, or Louisiana, or Mississippi, or Alabama, or South Carolina. Always nice to find a little bit of home in a foreign land. And their fast food gave me the poops, just like ours.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-03 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-03 Pub. Date: 2016-05-03
Image Number: 142719
Caption: You look awful. When's the last time you got some sleep? 154 hours ago. Dios mio, Lemont! That could kill you! What are you thinking?! I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, I'll have this dream that I don't want to have. Well you can't go six days with not sleep! That might be what killed Prince! Even just three days is enough to make people hallucinate! You've got to sleep! She may have a point. No she doesn't.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-18 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-18 Pub. Date: 2016-02-18
Image Number: 139237
Caption: Hi, cutie. Hi back, "Vancouver." You recognized my voice! Of course I did. It's the only voice that makes my heart jump straight up into my throat. Aw, you're sweet. I was afraid you'd forgotten my voice, since we usually only text. I'm just calling to let you know about a wonderful new app that can make your voice sound like someone else's ... WHO is this?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-11 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-11 Pub. Date: 2015-12-11
Image Number: 136223
Caption: I love being inside when it's freezing outside. It makes me feel six years old again, Clyde. It's the same feeling I'd get when I built a fort out of couch cushions. What the -- ? Another stereotype bites the dust. You a grown man, dawg. A real man isn't afraid to be six years old. A real "real man" ain't afraid to put a six-year-old on timeout. Go sit in the corner.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-04 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-04 Pub. Date: 2015-10-04
Image Number: 132818
Caption: Clyde, have you seen my vintage 1980s Flash Gordon tank top? Your what? It was one of the last survivors of a more enlightened age … when real men weren't afraid to wear loose-fitting tank tops and bright, colorful booty shorts. I've been saying them all my life, for when that comes back in style. Ok, what gon' happen now is, you gonna back up about five feet ... an' I'm gonna forget this conversation ever happened. Give me back my booty shorts!
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-16 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-16 Pub. Date: 2015-04-16
Image Number: 125565
Caption: How's it coming? This profile I wrote for you will definitely appeal to a good man, Susan. "Looking for a gentleman who's into science fiction, who's not afraid of crying, and who thinks about calling his mother every day. Actually calling his mother every day would be kind of stalker-ish." Maybe I'll write my own profile after all. "Must be ok with my having a virile male best friend."
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-03 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-03 Pub. Date: 2014-12-03
Image Number: 119643
Caption: I need some new pants. Want to come shopping? I'll pretend you ain't asked me that, Big L. Bruthas don't "shop" together. That's what women do. What, you need me to tell you if them jeans make you look fat? You need me to tell you how pretty you is? Get outta here with that #$%@. Clyde, a man who's secure in his own sexuality isn't afraid to go shopping with another man. I'll pretend you ain't said "sexuality" to me.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-11 afraid 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-11 Pub. Date: 2014-11-11
Image Number: 118787
Caption: Don’t you hear the drums, Tyrone? Bappada-boom. Boom. Bappada-boom. Boom. … It's like the sound of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, trotting steadily toward us. "Trotting"? Really, Rosencrantz, fear-mongering is all about word choice. "Scampering"? Still not scared. "Scooting"? (Published originally on March 27, 2012.)
     
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