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The Advice Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-21 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153409
Caption: So you went to Canada and spent time with the perfect woman. I got one question … What the !@#% are you doing here? Excuse me? Any man with some #@%$ sense woulda found an apartment, had his son Fedexed to him, an' stayed his behind in Canada. You can't just "stay" in another country. There are rules. Gimme her number, I'll move to Canada.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-21 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153433
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: The Talk. Specifically, how to have "the talk" with your younguns before they hear about it on the streets or from their president. The best thing to do is to use the tried and true Cohen method: Teach your child that within the pants of every member of the opposite sex lurks a monster that'll drain them of ambition, turn them into mindless automatons, and cause them to make fools of themselves. I'm talking, of course, about iPhones. Keep your younguns off the tweeter-machine!
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-19 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-19 Pub. Date: 2017-01-19
Image Number: 153431
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Santa Cruz. What's your problem? I feel like something wonderful is about to end. Excellent question. That reminds me of the time great, great, great, great, great Grandma Cohen was a weather forecaster in France. The year was 1812 ... A short Frenchman with a spit-curl summoned her to his chateau on the outskirts of Versailles. He said "Tell me, witch, how will the weather be in Russia this year?" She took offense to being called a witch, so after consulting her cauldron and her buzzard, she lied and told him "The winter will be warmer than usual. Dress your troops casual." What were we talking about again? We were ... I ... don't remember.
     
124. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2016-12-18 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2016-12-18 Pub. Date: 2016-12-18
Image Number: 151111
Caption: Well, son, you're a married man. Congratulations. Thanks, dad. Before you head off on your honeymoon, do you have any last-minute questions or concerns about … y'know, intimacy? Nope. I'm good. Oh - I do have one worry, lots of husbands do a thing with their wives that, well, I just can't see myself doing. I know it's really common, but I hope I won't be expected to do it with Toni. Uh ... ok. And what is that? Call her "hon".
     
125. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-17 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-17 Pub. Date: 2016-12-17
Image Number: 151998
Caption: "Things successful people do before bed - number six … they always get enough - sleep." Brrring!!!
     
126. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-16 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-16 Pub. Date: 2016-12-16
Image Number: 151997
Caption: "Things successful people do before bed - They make to-do lists. 1. Start composting. 2. Wear socks. 3. Learn Mandarin. That's not a "to-do" list, it's a "ta-dah!!" list … and you hate bluegrass music.
     
127. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-15 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 151996
Caption: "Things successful people do before bed - number four … They have sss … Ahem. They have ssss … They have snakes??? Yep! They have mad, passionate snakes!
     
128. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-14 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-14 Pub. Date: 2016-12-14
Image Number: 151995
Caption: "Things successful people do before bed - number three: Don't let the bedbugs bite." You made that up. No give me back my - Yowww!!! Pinch!
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
130. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2016-12-13 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 151380
Caption: Brad, this is my aunt. Pleasure, Chad, listen, a bit of advice: Delay the babies, ok? Super! Gotta run! That's the aunt who raised you? Amazing I'm not weirder than I am, huh? It's a Zubat. I'm out of balls.
     
131. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-13 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 151994
Caption: "Things successful people do before bed - number two: unplug and disconnect." I'm pretty sure there's an app for that.
     
132. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2016-12-12 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2016-12-12 Pub. Date: 2016-12-12
Image Number: 151993
Caption: What're you reading, Mike? "Things successful people do before bed." Is one of them to look under your bed for monsters? Ha! No, Minnie. These are tips for professionals to expand your output and -
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-07 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-07 Pub. Date: 2016-12-07
Image Number: 151821
Caption: What's the best way to distract people when they're mad at you? Simple, little buddy. I cock my head to the side, smile, and say "guilty as charged." Then I ask for their phone number. This tends to fill them with hopeful anticipation. And it's a well-known fact that you can't hold both hopeful anticipation and recrimination in your brain at the same time. When I said "You," I meant *me*, not *you*. Oh. In that case, you might want to try begging forgiveness.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-27 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150586
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever response he gives will seem rehearsed. Your best move now is Randy's Recovery #67: First, gaze off into the distance as if you're a tortured soul deep in self-reflection ... I can do that.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-24 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-24 Pub. Date: 2016-11-24
Image Number: 151309
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been wondering something for a while now: What's the point of learning math if we've got calculators? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Grandmother Cohen was helping design the Statue of Liberty. Instead of a torch, Lady Liberty was supposed to be wielding a handbag. And instead of a tablet, she was supposed to be holding a big globe just asking to get smacked. They said all the calculations showed it was too top-heavy. But I don't buy it! Um ... ok.
     
136. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2016-11-16 advice 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 148835
Caption: Al, what advice would you give me as I begin my journey on the highway of adulthood? Pull over onto the shoulder and pretend you have engine trouble. With luck, a beautiful female mechanic will stop to help.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-11 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2016-11-11
Image Number: 150764
Caption: Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadieâ„¢ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out of my life. She and he were always a little too close anyway. - C. Post, Seattle WA. Maybe for my midlife crisis, I'll try oversharing! It seems to make you happy. Advise Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
138. Comic Strip Mike Twohy  That's Life 2005-05-10 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2016-11-11 Pub. Date: 2005-05-10
Image Number: 10444
Caption: You don't bite the hand that feeds you. Always go for the other hand.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-01 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150472
Caption: C-Dog, my stocks haven't appreciated in years. Should I hold or sell? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. I get that question all the time. Here what you do: Pull out all your money … an' take it down to the alley between 42 an' 43 Vernon Street. Ask for "Big Oatmeal," he offer alternative investments that give you better odds. E'rethang from dice, to dominoes, to chicken fights. Chicken fights? It's important to diversify.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-31 advice 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-31 Pub. Date: 2016-10-31
Image Number: 150471
Caption: Neither party does anything for me. Why should I vote? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice 50¢. The answer is simple, bruh: You shouldn't. Your vote is your voice. 'Least it the only voice a politician listen to. Best way to get a politician to listen to you is to not say anything.
     
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