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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (61 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-20 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-20 Pub. Date: 2019-06-20
Image Number: 178163
Caption: When are they going to impeach President Trump already? I'm so over all this. Hey … Better be careful. Doesn’t your ad agency handle government accounts? It's just you and me, here … and our cellphones. And drones. And parabolic receivers. And a government that uses all of them ... and snooping neighbors. As I said, impeachment is totally unnecessary and wrong. What was that?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-01 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-01 Pub. Date: 2019-06-01
Image Number: 177798
Caption: There gonna be a whole generation of elbow arthritis. We evolved to be hunters an' gatherers, bruh. Not to hold phones and iPads right up to our faces. You gotta outstretch your arms once in a while, Big L … because that way it's easier for you to see my passwords? Would you rather secure your bank account? Or would you rather end up like this here?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-08 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-08 Pub. Date: 2019-04-08
Image Number: 177113
Caption: California accounted for 75% of all new jobs in February. Pareto Principle. It's how the world works. 20% of the people own 80% of the land. 20% of my clients give me 80% of my sales. I bet if we studies it, we'd find that 20% of what happens to us gives us 80% of our memories. Technically, California only has 12% of the population, not 20%. 20% of the time, you get 80% of the point.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-13 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-13 Pub. Date: 2019-01-13
Image Number: 175590
Caption: I'm doing well in my latest Surveymonkey poll. I run polls on all my social media accounts every time I make an important decision. Like when I decide which socks to wear … which movie to stream … which cereal to eat … Today I chose Lucky Charms. A solid choice. 49% of my followers felt that was proof of sound breakfast judgment. Wait ... Doesn't that mean 51% thought it wasn't? Taking a poll is science. Reporting the results is an art. A whopping 32% felt that my sticking with an un-PC breakfast choice showed I was bold enough to be president. You just ate what everyone wished they could eat.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-16 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-16 Pub. Date: 2018-10-16
Image Number: 174492
Caption: Rudy Park, my college roommate, sent me an evite to the grand opening of his new café. The zoning board declined to comment. So I filed a Freedom of Information Act request. Turns out the building was rezoned in the dead of night to permit a café, just hours after a huge payment from sources unknown landed in the zoning commissioner's 3-year-old son's savings account. Should I write the expose before I give Rudy a cafe-warming gift ... or after? Remind me never to send you and evite. What's the etiquette?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-02 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-02 Pub. Date: 2018-10-02
Image Number: 174289
Caption: I'm the one who brought in all our dark money accounts, sir. Especially Judicial Jerkpac. They hired us to create ads polishing off the rough edges of their favorite judicial nominees. But Judge Groperman is accused of sexual assault. I'm not sure you're the right man for this one, Garcia. I'm just as capable as any man of abandoning my principles to defend lowlife scum. It's called being a professional You mean alleged lowlife scum.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-01 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-01 Pub. Date: 2018-10-01
Image Number: 174288
Caption: Sir, I saw you assigned the Judge Groperman account to Dick Fink. That's my account, sir. Why would you do that? Now that Groperman's been accused of attacking a woman, I thought maybe you would be more comfortable not handling his P.R. campaign. I see. Are you sure it's not because you're afraid I'll sabotage the campaign to make sure the state senate rejects his nomination? Yayle. I would never even think of doing such a thing. Clearly not. All cretins are innocent until proven guilty.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-28 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-28 Pub. Date: 2018-03-28
Image Number: 169887
Caption: I started using the Amass Loot app to invest money. Say what? It's like Stash and Acorns. It automatically withdraws money form my checking account and buys stocks. Just one day after starting, I lost 48 cents. The app told me that meant it was the perfect time to invest even more. I could get you in on Big Oatmeal's craps game in the alley. I go just like that. How much does he charge per trade?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-08 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-08 Pub. Date: 2018-03-08
Image Number: 169166
Caption: I had a strange day today, Susan I totally know how that is … My day was strange, too. On the one hand, I landed the Ask Sadie Radio Show account. And I got a huge bonus. On the other hand, I discovered an underground gambling ring where people bet on how many cups of coffee I'll drink my noon. It's annoying when someone pretends to sympathize with you just so she can change the subject to her. I totally know how that is ...
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-08 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-08 Pub. Date: 2018-02-08
Image Number: 168183
Caption: What do you mean, do I believe aliens abduct people? You talkin' Donald Trump aliens, or is you talkin' Men in Black aliens? More like Fire in the Sky aliens, as seen in the 1993 film that's based on an actual account. I just think if that eyeball scene is real, it would explain why the whole country's so cranky. You spendin' way too much time on Youtube.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-11 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-11 Pub. Date: 2017-12-11
Image Number: 166001
Caption: Have you ever been to thetruesize.com? No. What's that? The maps we all use distort the sizes of the countries. The sizes are way off. That site lets you drag countries around to see how big they really are. Turns out Japan's as big as the entire east coast of the U.S. Brazil is almost as big as the United States. All of Africa is bigger than the U.S., India, Western Europe, Argentina and China combined. Same principle works for money. If you drag my seemingly tiny bank account around the globe, I'm actually super rich. Dios mio.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-01 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162091
Caption: Hey, Clyde. Wanna go hang out on the roof? Don’t you do that with Susan? Where she at? She's not talking to me right now. I told her I couldn't just take Joss Whedon's wife's account of their marriage at face value, because people sometimes don't tell the entire truth. Them's your mistake, bruh. You shoulda had just one thing to say 'bout the whole issue: "I don't care 'bout that." I think that's a dangerous philosophy. If something's in the news we've got to care. Wanna know why? I don't care 'bout that.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-03 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-03 Pub. Date: 2017-08-03
Image Number: 161033
Caption: Big L, your checkin' account be overdrawn. Really? Thanks for … wait, how do you know I'm overdrawn? You might wanna warn a brotha next time. That !@#$ was embarrassin'. I had to put back all my groceries. I knew a decoy account was a good idea.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-01 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158603
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. Why does my murder affect you so personally? You didn't even know me. M. Maybe that's why. You were graduating from a great school … you were commissioned in the army … By all accounts, you were funny, you were brilliant, you were going to be someone consequential. Someone who could've made history. I SHOULD have someday known you. But now I never will.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 account 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
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