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The Absolutely Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-12-03 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-12-03 Pub. Date: 2019-12-03
Image Number: 180670
Caption: Mistakes were made. We were abducted. Over the coming days, even the inattentative reader will likely notice a seeming problem with this week's comic strips: They pertain to Thanksgiving, which happened last week. What would explain this? We cannot tell a lie: We were apprehended, drugged, taken to a distant planet, served too many soy products, forced to watch reality tv, then returned disoriented and confused about the calendar. we absolutely assure you that's what happened and not, as some cynics may assume, that we got our dates mixed up here at Rudy Park HQ. Enjoy the story of Rudy inviting himself to Thanksgiving at Sadie's. Or blame the aliens.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-11-11 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-11-11 Pub. Date: 2019-11-11
Image Number: 180338
Caption: Armstrong Maynard, waaaake uuuuup!!! Waaaaaaaake uuuuuuuuppp!!! Give me a break. Heavy sleepers are absolutely the worst part of the haunting business. Bang on a pot!
     
3. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2008-12-11 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2019-10-01 Pub. Date: 2008-12-11
Image Number: 30662
Caption: "…An all-inclusive week for two at our uninhabited 'Rompabout Resort' in Costa Rica!" I dunno, TJ…It's a two bedroom villa! You're asking Toni as a friend. Completely innocent! Of course, the intoxicating romance of the place may overcome her, but that's not the plan, is it? No! Absolutely not! Ooo! Nicely done. Almost convinced me.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-09-21 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-09-21 Pub. Date: 2019-09-21
Image Number: 179411
Caption: Rudy asked me the most absurd question. Do tell, Mr. Maynard. He asked me if you and I were going on a date tonight when we go to hear Sean Hannity speak. It's the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Absurd! Say it with me: Absolutely absurd! Absurd!
     
5. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2019-08-13 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2019-08-13 Pub. Date: 2019-08-13
Image Number: 178968
Caption: Directory. The world has passed me by. I understand absolutely nothing about the work people do from reading their corporate job titles.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-24 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-24 Pub. Date: 2019-07-24
Image Number: 178595
Caption: So you don't have a Twitter account? Absolutely not. But you're Sadie Cohen. The one and only. Well then someone's opened a Twitter account pretending to be you. Just 8 ladel o Metamucil.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-06-17 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-06-17 Pub. Date: 2019-06-17
Image Number: 178144
Caption: Nothing. What? Stop looking at me like that. Nothing happened. HOJ. Absolutely nothing! You've sniffed me out. I'll come clean. This should be good.
     
8. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-04-10 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-04-10 Pub. Date: 2019-04-10
Image Number: 177142
Caption: Stop being so critical of yourself, Opal. You have more artistic talent in your whole body than most people have in their little finger. You really think so? Absolutely. Wait, now how was that again? Oh, look at the time!
     
9. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-04-09 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-04-09 Pub. Date: 2019-04-09
Image Number: 177141
Caption: Something weird is happening to my art ability. I think I've lost my artistic talent. What do you think? Absolutely not. No way … will I fall for that trap.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-02 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-02 Pub. Date: 2019-04-02
Image Number: 177043
Caption: What's wrong with me? I'm sure it's nothing. What's nothing? Absolutely nothing to worry about. "I'm sure it's nothing" are the evilest words in medicine!!! That's actually true.
     
11. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-03-15 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-03-15 Pub. Date: 2019-03-15
Image Number: 176620
Caption: Do you ever feel like you're living a meaningless existence? And soon everything you are and have ever done will pass into nothingness and be forgotten? No. Absolutely not! I was talking to the cat.
     
12. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2019-03-02 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2019-03-02 Pub. Date: 2019-03-02
Image Number: 176535
Caption: Sports Wagering. Over/Under Window. I'm absolutely positive I'll win by betting the combined points in the game will be more than 200! That's "over-confidence"!
     
13. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2008-03-01 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2019-02-06 Pub. Date: 2008-03-01
Image Number: 21837
Caption: "Absolutely unacceptable behavior, young man!"
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-26 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-26 Pub. Date: 2019-01-26
Image Number: 175967
Caption: You have chosen wisely in buying your girlfriend a new video game unit. You're sure? Computer Villa. It's like a jewel. She'll absolutely cherish this. And it has that most essential quality. If she hates it, you can use it. Then I'll also get her an HD camcorder.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-25 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-25 Pub. Date: 2019-01-25
Image Number: 175966
Caption: You're in a serious relationship. You need a gift that speaks to the depth of your feelings. Computer Villa. I cannot tell you exactly which gift to get. That is your choice - Perhaps a Smart TV or a 3-D printer. Only one thing is certain. You should absolutely max out your credit card. So hard to say it with a straight face. Thank you, wise one.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-11 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-11 Pub. Date: 2019-01-11
Image Number: 175762
Caption: You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Basketball Squad?! I surely did not. I absolutely did not give any steroids to the girls on the team. What's with the quote marks? They surround words that can be legally disputed. Very creepy. Nothing improper happened.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-19 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-19 Pub. Date: 2018-12-19
Image Number: 175494
Caption: You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-27 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-27 Pub. Date: 2018-11-27
Image Number: 175161
Caption: People play Scrabble on Facebook or their iPhone? Of course. Want to try it? Absolutely not! … No can do … Maybe … I suppose. But only to make fun of losers who waste their lives playing stupid computer games! I am saying this with a straight face. Your capacities in that regard know no equal.
     
19. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-10-23 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-10-23 Pub. Date: 2018-10-23
Image Number: 174533
Caption: No! Absolutely not!! I already told you - no ice cream, and that's final!! But gramma, I didn't ask for any ice cream. Oh, I'm sorry, Nelson. I didn't see you there. I was just talking to myself.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-21 absolutely 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174414
Caption: Well? Well what? What did you get me? I know that tone. Forgot something. Birthday? Seven-month anniversary of the latest iPad? Um … Half a steamin' cup of French Roast … assuming you warm it up. You forgot! I absolutely did not … forget. Yes you did. you forgot Rudy Park's anniversary at the cafe. Ok ... also half a raisin scone. I'll take it. We expect you to be on the ball next year. We're not above begging for half a scone.
     
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