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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (34 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-01 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-01 Pub. Date: 2018-05-01
Image Number: 171053
Caption: I think you take Star Trek a little too seriously, Lemont. I do not. I just think that it's a good show. A good show that has fun characters … who happen to be a shining symbol of mankind's ability to overcome our barbarism and selfishness and evolve into the noble and ingenious paragon of animals we're meant to be. I rest my case. I mean ... it's pretty good. Worth checking out.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-31 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 121966
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more than that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-21 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-21 Pub. Date: 2014-01-21
Image Number: 106499
Caption: Months ago … I'm going to be running for President in 2016. I'll be running on my ability to work with Democrats. Problem is, the conservatives I'll need don’t trust me BECAUSE of that ability. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. Here's what you do: do somethin' REAL bad. Then the media'll be ALL OVER you. Only thing conservatives hate more than Democrats is the media. That's so crazy it just might work. Start by trappin' some kids on a school bus.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-31 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-31 Pub. Date: 2013-12-31
Image Number: 105638
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV. (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-03).
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-05 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-05 Pub. Date: 2012-11-05
Image Number: 89421
Caption: Remember how four years ago, Hillary Clinton had the superhuman ability to be all things to all people? Go on. Remember how I pointed out that she was "born" in 1947, the same year as aliens crashed at Roswell? Go on. Did you know Mitt Romney was also "born" in 1947? Go on. Remember when we were kids and I bet you $2 the alien invasion would happen before the zombie apocalypse? Stop.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-24 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-24 Pub. Date: 2012-04-24
Image Number: 79771
Caption: Lemont interviews a Secret Service agent about the sex scandal. I guess my first question would be … Butt-naked girls! … If you're not even sharp enough to do depraved things without getting caught … Why should we think you're sharp enough to guard the president? Nonsense. For all you know, there were plenty of times we didn't get caught.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-10 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-10 Pub. Date: 2011-10-10
Image Number: 66565
Caption: Rosencrantz? What's the first thing you remember? I remember being born. That's impossible. No, ever since I was an infant, I've remembered being born. The prefrontal cortex, which encodes explicit memory, is not active at birth. And the hippocampus is too small to transfer experience into long-term storage until age three. You don't remember being born. You just remember remembering being born. Forget it.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-26 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-26 Pub. Date: 2011-08-26
Image Number: 64820
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Did I ever tell you about the time I was pinned down in a Saigon rice paddy with nothing but my cameran and my crack interviewing skills to save me? No. But I already know about that. I Googled you years ago. Did I ever tell you about the time when wise old people telling their life stories to wide-eyed young people was the glue that bound society together? No, but I'll just Google that.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-22 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-22 Pub. Date: 2011-08-22
Image Number: 64816
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. But that makes no sense, sir! We should do what we're good at! For instance ... surveys show that comics are the main reason a lot of reason people buy the newspaper. We should run more of them, larger, and all together. Websites can't do that, especially on the iPhone or Android. Don't interrupt Brown. But, Mr. W.. It's rude. As I was saying: To compete with the iPhone, we're going to shrink the paper to the size of it.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-12 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-12 Pub. Date: 2011-08-12
Image Number: 64170
Caption: Mr. Brown, is there anything you'd like to say? Just that I believe a boy needs his father ... to teach him to shave, to play football, to respect women, to be kind, loyal and honest, to be relentless in pursuit of his goals and above all, to never, ever be wishy-washy. Um .. not that a woman can't teach that stuff too. Or, er, um ... what I meant ... We rest our case!
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-10 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-10 Pub. Date: 2011-08-10
Image Number: 64168
Caption: Why should the court grant you custody of your son? Because I love him with all my heart. That's all you said. That's all that matters. How 'bout "I have a great job, I'm ambitious, I'm responsible, I've already planned for his future, and here's all the proof"? That would've been good too.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-15 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-15 Pub. Date: 2011-05-15
Image Number: 60879
Caption: This is Loserbanc Massacard. Mr. Brown, our records show you have an outstanding balance of $1,198. Loserbanc? You guys charged that off way back in like 1994. Do you know what year this is? You guys fell of my credit report a decade ago. How would you like to rectify the situation? I wouldn't. But .. .the moral thing to do is pay us what you owe us. How "moral" was it for you to make me pay thousands more than I ever borrowed in late fees, mysterious "finance charges" and your sky-high APR? Our terms were legal. Well, it's also legal for me to refuse to repay a debt that you charged off so long ago. I can accept payment over the phone. Good for you! I can tie my own shoes. Our mommies should give us each a cookie.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-24 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-24 Pub. Date: 2011-02-24
Image Number: 57545
Caption: Your majesty, Lemont Brown has demonstrated his ability to care for the child. He alone tried to take Lionel to a doctor to find out why he still wasn't babbling at the age of one. He alone tried to take Lionel to the park so he could socialize with other children, pets and vagrants his own age. He alone tried to take -- Why do I keep hearing the word "tried," counselor? The mother said "no" every time. What was Lemont supposed to do, argue? There's no arguing with a mother -- she'll give you a time-out.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-12 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-12 Pub. Date: 2011-01-12
Image Number: 56139
Caption: My mom always said the man may be the head, but the woman is the neck, and the neck moves the head. Yeah, but if it weren't for the head sending impulses to the neck, the neck couldn't do a thing. You're not supposed to think that deeply into it. Are you talking? Necks don't have mouths.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-03 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-03 Pub. Date: 2011-01-03
Image Number: 55831
Caption: I resolve to become president. "President C-Dog," ruler and master of ALL you fools. That can't be your New Year's resolution. Your resolution has to be something that's within your power to do. Oh. Well then I resolve to hold doors open for people behind me, instead of letting them smack them in the face. ... No, something that's in YOUR power to do. I resolve to watch a little more TV.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-12 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-12 Pub. Date: 2010-09-12
Image Number: 51720
Caption: I'm having a good day! Me too. You're always having a good day. Not really, but I fake it well. Yeah, way better than I do. Actually, I don't at all. I've perfected the art of denial. Denial is the natural form of antidepressant. That's depressing. WHAT'S depressing? See?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-17 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-17 Pub. Date: 2010-05-17
Image Number: 47471
Caption: I have to give a big speech, but public speaking scares the spit out of me. I've tried emulating great public speakers like Roosevelt, Clinton, King -- That's ya problem right there. You mean if I were to stop trying to be like good public speakers and just let myself be ME, I'd do fine? No, I mean you're boring as @#$%. Shut up already. C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-05 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-05 Pub. Date: 2010-04-05
Image Number: 45958
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Perry White meets with an ACME syndicate salesman. Sorry, we already have a political satirist. Sage Blithely is local! He's funny! Insightful! Relevant! Has his finger on the pulse of our community! … And you pay him $150 grand per year. We can give you a weekly humor column by North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il for $5. An nyoung ha seh ho. You speak Korean? For $150 grand, I'll speak Klingon.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-01-29 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-09 Pub. Date: 2008-01-29
Image Number: 21413
Caption: How was I to know that big dude would kick you in the head? Clyde, you insulted his parrot, hid behind a trash can and threw your voice so it sounded like I said "What, @#$%?" Well, yeh… but… I didn't even know you were a ventriloquist. Believe it or not, they've had stranger conversations.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-11-10 ability 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-11-10 Pub. Date: 2009-11-10
Image Number: 40740
Caption: If we sit back-to-back, we can untie the -- hey, how'd you get out of your ropes? Wooooo wooooo woooo. Before I became a therapist, I led a life of debauchery on the carnival circuit. You're looking at the only contortionist to ever successfully stuff his entire body into an elephant. Wooo - woo-woo woooo. That's almost as fascinating as you untying me before those hungry wolves get here. Woooo. Aw, you're just saying that. UNTIE ME, YOU @$#%!
     
Result page:    2  Next  (34 images)