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The 000 Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-14 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-14 Pub. Date: 2018-03-14
Image Number: 169407
Caption: Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You're gonna need a campaign manager.
2. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-03-08 000 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-03-08 Pub. Date: 2018-03-08
Image Number: 168993
Caption: Hey Picasso, want to meet for drinks later? Let me check my calendar … Little Zen Calendar. Thu. 8th. Today sit in Zen 10,000 years. How late you going to be there?
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-28 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-28 Pub. Date: 2018-02-28
Image Number: 168935
Caption: I'm thinking of suing your café, I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it. I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes. That's why I had twelve cavities! I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte. No deal.
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-12 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-12 Pub. Date: 2018-02-12
Image Number: 168441
Caption: Youtube just made it impossible for me to earn a living from my channel! How so? It used to be you needed 10,000 views of your videos, and then they'd start running ads on your channel. Now you need 4,000 hours of watch-time and 1,000 subscribers! It took me a year to get 10,000 views, and then the bottom drops out! I'm missing out on $400/year now, according to Social Blade. Have you ever heard something that you just know would've made zero sense if you'd heard it ten years ago? First Facebook changed the algorithms, now this!
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
6. Comic Strip Hilary Price  Rhymes with Orange 2018-02-05 000 
Cartoonist(s): Hilary Price
Comic/Cartoon: Rhymes with Orange
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168045
Caption: The Hospital Ward. I've got 10,000 hours in training for this. Keep petting. I'll let you know when your blood pressure is low enough by biting you. Therapy Cat.
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-28 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167088
Caption: Hi, I just got a notice that I owe $30k t the city in past freelance taxes. That's right. Because you didn't file as a business between 2007 and 2013. I wasn't a business. I was a reporter for a newspaper. They paid you with a 1099 instead of W-2. That makes you a business. They paid me with a 1099 so they could get away with not giving me benefits, and so they wouldn't have to give me paid time off! That doesn't mean I was running a business! Yes it does. I see you earned less than $100k per year. You wouldn't owe us anything if you filed for an exemption during the years you owed those taxes. You never told me this tax even existed! I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 for a tax I didn't owe just because you never told me I didn't owe it! You're right, sir. If you include the penalties, you're actually gonna pay us $38,000. You're going to make me become a Republican! You know that, right?! There's no special exemption for Republicans.
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-22 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167650
Caption: A teacher stood up during a public comment portion of a school board meeting … and calmly said it was wrong to give their unelected superintendent a $38,000 pay raise while the teachers got nothing and class sizes grew. Lemme guess what was next. A cop threw her to the ground, cuffed her, dragged her outta there an' arrested her. Clyde! You started watching the news? Don't need to, bruh. America a police state.
9. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-01-18 000 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167209
Caption: I did it! I finished this 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle!! Hmm. That's all I get … ? Hmm. Three weeks of eye-straining piece-finding work, and all I get it hmm?! You're right. I'm sorry. What I meant to say way "thank goodness! Finally I get my kitchen table back!
10. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-13 000 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 166608
Caption: This does feel rich. Too rich. I'd look great in it, but … thanks anyway … Girls? Self-denial is self-betrayal. Here's what I'll do: I'll give you a free fragrance worth $75. I'll slash 5% off a purchase of $200 or more and enter you to win $1,000! Do the math, ladies. It's steal. You're good. And bad. Thank you, son.
11. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-12 000 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-12 Pub. Date: 2018-01-12
Image Number: 166607
Caption: You are touching a garment so precious that only celebs and royalty possess it. SL. Souffle Lingerie. Feel the luxury. See the unequaled artistry. You'd expect to pay $1,000 for such a rare treasure, no? If I told you that you can own this, right now, not for $800, not for $300 but for only $99, what would you say? Hm? Uh ...
12. Comic Strip Kieran Meehan  Pros & Cons 2018-01-06 000 
Cartoonist(s): Kieran Meehan
Comic/Cartoon: Pros & Cons
Viewable Date: 2018-01-06 Pub. Date: 2018-01-06
Image Number: 166636
Caption: Perhaps should abandoned social media, Stan. It's not really your sort of thing, is it?! That's what my 50,000 Twitter followers say. Between you and me, I think they're some sort of weird cult.
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-02 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-02 Pub. Date: 2018-01-02
Image Number: 166780
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? Absolutely nothing, Susan. It's not like I just published my 14th novel, sold over 5,000 signed copies during the first weekend … and realized not a single one of those copies was bought by my best friend. Awww … I'm still your best friend? That's not the point!
14. Comic Strip Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-12-27 000 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166345
Caption: They say making lots of money doesn't make you any happier than people earning a moderate amount. $75,000 seems to be the threshold for contentment. $75,000? Geez … So how much would I have to make if I'm okay with being slightly grumpy?
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-12 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-12 Pub. Date: 2017-12-12
Image Number: 166030
Caption: A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.
16. Comic Strip Jim Toomey  Sherman's Lagoon 2017-12-06 000 
Cartoonist(s): Jim Toomey
Comic/Cartoon: Sherman's Lagoon
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165607
Caption: O great and powerful kahuna, I ask a favor. Can you turn me into a dog? And turn Sherman into a human? We want to win $1,000 in a dog show. Why not just ask kahuna for $1,000? This way seems less complicated. Right.
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-01 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-01 Pub. Date: 2017-12-01
Image Number: 165444
Caption: Says here the Mediterranean Sea wasn't always there. Big whoop, geek-boy. Tap tap tap tap tap. Says here 6 million years ago, it was a salty desert that was 10,000 feet below sea level … and because of the topography and the air pressure, it was a suffocating, hellish wasteland that got up to 170 degrees. Nothing but tardigrades, misery and extra-sweaty demons could've lived there. Which reminds me, didn't you say your family originally came from the Mediterranean? Which reminds me, when's the last time you brushed your teeth?
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-22 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165149
Caption: Where do you think we'll be 3,000 years from now, Susan? Do you think we'll even be recognizable as human beings? Will we all have nanites coursing through our bodies repairing any damage and connecting us all to a hive mind? Will we have no bodies at all, and instead be sentient programs we uploaded to the cloud to escape some global catastrophe? Will we still like pizza? Pizza is eternal.
19. Comic Strip J.C. Duffy  Fusco Brothers 2017-10-25 000 
Cartoonist(s): J.C. Duffy
Comic/Cartoon: Fusco Brothers
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 163811
Caption: My dental bridge broke this morning, but I have no dental insurance. So, my plan is to put it under my pillow tonight and hope that the bridge fairy collects it and leaves $3,000.
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-15 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-15 Pub. Date: 2017-10-15
Image Number: 163143
Caption: Hello, you've reached Lowe an' Sharke Lending Club. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad from you in the mail saying I'm pre-qualified for an $80,000 low-interest loan, with no collateral needed. That's right. All I need is for you to answer a few brief questions so we can see if you qualify. What do you mean? You said I was already pre-qualified. Doesn't "pre-qualified" mean I've been qualified already. No. It means you haven't been qualified yet. What the -- By that definition, everyone in the whole world is "pre-qualified"! That's incorrect, sir. There are about 101 billion post-living people who wouldn't qualify.
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