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The 000 Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

These are available for you to license for books, magazines, newsletters, presentations and websites.
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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-18 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-18 Pub. Date: 2018-05-18
Image Number: 171511
Caption: I can't believe you're going to sue me, Rudy. What kind of person sues his own friend? I'm not. I dropped the lawsuit, Armstrong. I re-checked the programming in the cryptocurrency I created, and it has a flaw I'd overlooked. I forgot to put a dash on command line 457,000 so as soon as 457,000 people traded the currency, the entire currency collapsed. Sorry I accused you of hacking my computer and stealing all my money, boss. So you're saying you're sorry you willfully and maliciously slandered me? Wait ... are you recording me on that computer?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-17 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-17 Pub. Date: 2018-05-17
Image Number: 171504
Caption: You really should've invested in Rudycoin, Clyde. My $100 investment shot up to $10,000 overnight. Did you cash that @#$% in, bruh, or let it ride? I think I cashed it in. Whachoomean you think? I saw my balance was $10k/100k Rudybits, and under it there were two buttons. I chose the one that said Rudycash, which seemed more likely to cash in my earnings than the button that said HODL Rudypower. Stop it. I don't know what any of that mean, other than you gonna lose your whole life savings. Stop hodling on to the 20th century.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-16 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-16 Pub. Date: 2018-05-16
Image Number: 171509
Caption: You'll never guess what happened, Randy. What's that? The cryptocurrency I created exploded last night. People are mining and trading like crazy. There are only 100 million Rudycoing in existence, and once they're gone, they're gone. Guess what I did? I bought you 1,000 of them before the public caught wind of it. Now you 1,000 coins are worth $15,000 each. I have not idea what any of that means, but it sounds like you're single-handedly destroying the whole world's economy. Once Rudycoins are all taken, I'm going to start Flippercoin. It's names after my goldfish.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-08 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171290
Caption: Y'know ... if there were a human civilization 13,000 years ago that was more advanced than we are now, it would explain everything. How so, Lemont? Sorry, no time to tell you right now. It'd take more time than we have. Well, just summarize it. Can't do that. I'll be just getting to the amazing part, and you'll check your watch and say Sorry, gotta go. In the time it took you to say all that, you could've told me. Do we have time to set up a time when we'll have time?
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-08 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171296
Caption: I'm not convinced that the pyramids of Giza were built as tombs. Sure they were used as tombs, but for all we know, they were built far earlier by some other civilization, and the pharaohs just claimed credit for them. How do we know the pyramids weren't something far more high-tech, like for instance hydroelectric power generators for an advanced civilization? You tell me, how did you charge your cellphone back in 10,000 B.C.? Hydropower from the tears of dorks, here, let me show you ...
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-11 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-11 Pub. Date: 2018-04-11
Image Number: 170358
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will hunt you and your family to the ends of the earth and squeeze you all to death with my bare armpit. I mean ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-09 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-09 Pub. Date: 2018-04-09
Image Number: 170356
Caption: Where would you spend your honeymoon? Skyrim, no contest. First, my lady and I would climb the 1,000 snow-covered steps to the summit of the mountain overlooking High Hrothgar … where we'd witness the distant castle glowing silver and blue in the light of the sunrise ... as several planets hover in the morning sky. Please tell me you're not talking about some place in a video game. I'd have chosen the rolling fields of Mulgore, but that's got too many bloodthirsty orcs.
     
8. Comic Strip Chris Browne  Hagar The Horrible 2018-04-01 000 
Cartoonist(s): Chris Browne
Comic/Cartoon: Hagar The Horrible
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169560
Caption: In 1,000 years they'll have it all figured out … no war, no sickness, no poverty … a perfect world. Yeah, but we'll probably be too old to enjoy it! I really admire you, Hagar! You live a life of unlimited food, drink and partying, yet you maintain amazing energy and agility! What's your secret? Zip! Zip!! Thwack. Chop! I've got lost of enemies!
     
9. Comic Strip John Deering  Strange Brew 2007-09-06 000 
Cartoonist(s): John Deering
Comic/Cartoon: Strange Brew
Viewable Date: 2018-03-30 Pub. Date: 2007-09-06
Image Number: 20482
Caption: 100,000 B.C. - Only one week after the discovery of fire, the first case of arson looks like this…
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-14 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-14 Pub. Date: 2018-03-14
Image Number: 169407
Caption: Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You're gonna need a campaign manager.
     
11. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-03-08 000 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-03-08 Pub. Date: 2018-03-08
Image Number: 168993
Caption: Hey Picasso, want to meet for drinks later? Let me check my calendar … Little Zen Calendar. Thu. 8th. Today sit in Zen 10,000 years. How late you going to be there?
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-28 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-28 Pub. Date: 2018-02-28
Image Number: 168935
Caption: I'm thinking of suing your café, I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it. I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes. That's why I had twelve cavities! I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte. No deal.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-12 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-12 Pub. Date: 2018-02-12
Image Number: 168441
Caption: Youtube just made it impossible for me to earn a living from my channel! How so? It used to be you needed 10,000 views of your videos, and then they'd start running ads on your channel. Now you need 4,000 hours of watch-time and 1,000 subscribers! It took me a year to get 10,000 views, and then the bottom drops out! I'm missing out on $400/year now, according to Social Blade. Have you ever heard something that you just know would've made zero sense if you'd heard it ten years ago? First Facebook changed the algorithms, now this!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-06 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168181
Caption: I wrote an article about how people are purchasing followers for their social media accounts. There are bot factories that grab selfies we post to social media, along with out names and email addresses … and they use all our info to create and sell these fake follower accounts. A lot of famous people with millions of followers actually bought most of them. Did you write that 'cause President Trump mocked you for only having 20,000 Twitter followers? Totally unrelated.
     
15. Comic Strip Hilary Price  Rhymes with Orange 2018-02-05 000 
Cartoonist(s): Hilary Price
Comic/Cartoon: Rhymes with Orange
Viewable Date: 2018-02-05 Pub. Date: 2018-02-05
Image Number: 168045
Caption: The Hospital Ward. I've got 10,000 hours in training for this. Keep petting. I'll let you know when your blood pressure is low enough by biting you. Therapy Cat.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-28 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167088
Caption: Hi, I just got a notice that I owe $30k t the city in past freelance taxes. That's right. Because you didn't file as a business between 2007 and 2013. I wasn't a business. I was a reporter for a newspaper. They paid you with a 1099 instead of W-2. That makes you a business. They paid me with a 1099 so they could get away with not giving me benefits, and so they wouldn't have to give me paid time off! That doesn't mean I was running a business! Yes it does. I see you earned less than $100k per year. You wouldn't owe us anything if you filed for an exemption during the years you owed those taxes. You never told me this tax even existed! I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 for a tax I didn't owe just because you never told me I didn't owe it! You're right, sir. If you include the penalties, you're actually gonna pay us $38,000. You're going to make me become a Republican! You know that, right?! There's no special exemption for Republicans.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-22 000 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167650
Caption: A teacher stood up during a public comment portion of a school board meeting … and calmly said it was wrong to give their unelected superintendent a $38,000 pay raise while the teachers got nothing and class sizes grew. Lemme guess what was next. A cop threw her to the ground, cuffed her, dragged her outta there an' arrested her. Clyde! You started watching the news? Don't need to, bruh. America a police state.
     
18. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2018-01-18 000 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167209
Caption: I did it! I finished this 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle!! Hmm. That's all I get … ? Hmm. Three weeks of eye-straining piece-finding work, and all I get it hmm?! You're right. I'm sorry. What I meant to say way "thank goodness! Finally I get my kitchen table back!
     
19. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-13 000 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-13 Pub. Date: 2018-01-13
Image Number: 166608
Caption: This does feel rich. Too rich. I'd look great in it, but … thanks anyway … Girls? Self-denial is self-betrayal. Here's what I'll do: I'll give you a free fragrance worth $75. I'll slash 5% off a purchase of $200 or more and enter you to win $1,000! Do the math, ladies. It's steal. You're good. And bad. Thank you, son.
     
20. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2018-01-12 000 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2018-01-12 Pub. Date: 2018-01-12
Image Number: 166607
Caption: You are touching a garment so precious that only celebs and royalty possess it. SL. Souffle Lingerie. Feel the luxury. See the unequaled artistry. You'd expect to pay $1,000 for such a rare treasure, no? If I told you that you can own this, right now, not for $800, not for $300 but for only $99, what would you say? Hm? Uh ...
     
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